Great Expectations
by twiniitowers
Summary: 06/27/03-!Finished! Includes a sneek peek for future story, please R/R
1. The Stick Was Blue

Chapter 1 The Stick Was Blue  
  
November 2000  
  
Jackie sat on the edge of the bathtub holding her cell phone. She put it down on the sink because she couldn't place the call. It would look like boasting and she wasn't sure on how either one of them would take it. She jumped back into the bed crashing into her husband-husband! She loved the sound of that, especially when the name 'Steven' came after it.  
  
"Jackie!"  
  
"What? I can't jump in bed?! That's ridiculous."  
  
"Did you call Donna and forman?"  
  
"No, I couldn't. I don't want Donna to think the moment I get married, I got pregnant, not after what happened-and you and Eric STILL aren't right- and all he has to do is think of WHY Donna can't get pregnant-AND---"  
  
Hyde kissed her to stop her from talking. "We have nothing to feel guilty over. Us having a child together has absolutely NOTHING to do with the Forman's from St. Louis."  
  
"But Donna is my friend."  
  
"Then she'll be happy for you, she isn't petty like her husband," Hyde kissed Jackie then got out of the bed to get dressed, "Do you want pizza or Chinese?"  
  
"Neither. I want French fries with cheese sauce. And get it to go so we can all eat together. You do remember where Tiffany's dance class is?"  
  
"Yes, Jackie, I was the one who dropped her off."  
  
"Bye, Steven, I love you."  
  
"I love you, too." He almost couldn't believe that he was finally married to Jackie! There was absolutely no f***ing way in Hell that he was going to feel guilty over Jackie being pregnant with his child. It wasn't about how Donna and especially Eric felt. He was happy. For the first time in Hyde's life everything was going his way and he was going to enjoy it. He earned that right a long, long time ago.  
  
Donna sat at her computer trying to concentrate on the article she was writing. God help her, she lied. Well-half-lied. Did that make it any less bad? Did it make her a bad person? She was going to send an email then thought better of it, she thought about phoning, but no-she was going to have to do this face-to-face and she couldn't wait for him to come home. She grabbed her keys off the counter.  
  
"When am I going to be a big Sister?" Tiffany asked Hyde in a rather loud voice when they were in line at one of the burger places in NYC.  
  
"Around May." Hyde smiled, she was almost Tiffany Hyde.  
  
Brad was taken off his perch when he found out that he incriminated himself the moment he left that phone message to Jackie. He was lucky, he didn't go over there and kill him but since nothing happened and he and Jackie were able to get married that he tried to let it go for their sakes he didn't want to do anything that would hurt them.  
  
"Awesome!"  
  
"Do you want a giggle meal?"  
  
"Yeah-and the boys toy!" Hyde thought that was cute. She had definite ideas on what she liked and didn't like. That was just like Jackie. Except Jackie would have wanted the girls toy and would have liked playing with dolls and wearing frilly dresses.  
  
"You're just like your Mom." Hyde said  
  
"Mommy doesn't like to get dirty and she's always telling me to take a bath!"  
  
Hyde laughed.  
  
Donna swallowed as Eric waved to her to come in his office as he had one ear to the phone and his left hand on the computer. Why was this difficult? Was she making it difficult? Why should it be their problem? If she made an issue of it, he would too. What was she doing? She should be happy for them-well she was, but a part of her wasn't. It was only a half-lie.  
  
"Hi, Donna, what brings you by?" he kissed her on the cheek, despite the door being open. He put the file folder on the cabinet for later then he made sure to close the door.  
  
"I was in the neighborhood going shopping and I figured I'd stop by to say 'hi'-Hi, Eric. Oh," She grabbed his paperweight a crystal moon that she bought him for good luck off his desk and started playing with it. "I got a call from Jackie she's expecting."  
  
"Expecting what?" Eric replied in a typical male fashion  
  
"A new sofa! She's pregnant, Eric."  
  
'Well, that didn't take long, did it?' "You came here just to tell me Jackie and Hyde are having a baby?"  
  
"Yeah-just nervous energy, I couldn't wait for you to come home to tell you."  
  
Donna figured it best not to tell Eric that she was only sort of happy for Jackie and Hyde. Hyde and Eric were stalemated at best and she didn't want Jackie to know that she was only partly happy for them because she wanted to have a baby-and Eric wanted a family for years. It was their fight about it many moons ago that she even had the affair with Hyde in the first place. Donna was only pregnant once looking back on it, she should have had the baby, she could've had the baby and still have started her career and although Eric would have been rightly angry over the affair better his anger should have been fresh instead of twenty years just finding out about it. Hyde would have realized he was a great Father and wouldn't have had all the baggage that permeated his adult life-maybe he and Jackie would have gotten back together sooner. Eric would have been a great stepfather and most importantly her body would not have suffered because of it and they would have been able to have children of their own. ---and the Coke habit-Eric would never have touched it, if she didn't push him to do it. It really was all her fault and it was best to sweep this all under the collective carpet and be happy for Jackie and Hyde.  
  
"Are you all right, Donna? You were a million miles away."  
  
Donna wished that the phone would ring, the intercom would go off, or someone would burst through the door, but no such luck.  
  
"I'm fine, Eric," She kissed him lightly on the lips, "I'm going to the pharmacy to get a card for Jackie and Hyde do you want to sign it or should I just sign it for the both of us?"  
  
"I'll sign it," Eric looked at his watch, "It's four o'clock. Do you want to meet at the Hideaway for dinner in an hour?"  
  
"Sure," Donna kissed him goodbye, "Maybe, I should buy a little stuffed animal and make a package?" She thought out loud.  
  
Eric knew something was wrong, she could deny it all she wanted but he knew something was wrong with Donna.  
  
Jackie loved her lazy day in bed and was glad that Steven didn't put up a fuss that she didn't want to do anything all day expect bathe in the knowledge that she was going to have their child. She thought of baby names off and on, wondered if Tiffany was going to be jealous of the new baby-she took the news well for a child her age and was actually excited but that could change once the baby arrives, and she was beyond blessed to actually have this chance with Steven. She did the un-Jackie like thing and ate her fries out of the bag in bed and allowed Hyde and Tiffany to eat on the bed with her.  
  
"Mommy, do you want my fries, too?"  
  
"No, sweetie, I'm good."  
  
"Do I have to get you fries at three in the morning?" Hyde asked  
  
"If I want them-YE-AH!"  
  
Tiffany played with her posable miniature action figure.  
  
"Tiffany if you are done eating-------"  
  
"Wash my hands!"  
  
"Yes, wash your hands and throw your bag away."  
  
"Aww!" She hopped off the bed to use the sink in the master bath.  
  
"Has she called you Daddy yet?" Jackie whispered  
  
"No." Hyde wouldn't press the issue. She had to want to call him Dad it was more genuine that way.  
  
"She will soon. Are you going to eat those onion rings?"  
  
"I can see where the next few months are going." He gave her the rest of them.  
  
"I'm hungry!"  
  
He threw his fast food wrappers away so Jackie wouldn't yell at him, too. He kissed her nose before going into the bathroom to check on his daughter. He liked the sound of that very much. He couldn't wait for the papers to all be official when Tiffany Worthington would be Tiffany Hyde.  
  
Eric watched, as Donna was quietly reading her menu not aware that he was watching her. It was why when it seemed that he and Hyde could be on the road to getting their friendship back it always snapped back like a rubber band. Donna wasn't entirely happy that Jackie was pregnant because it brought back terrible memories of a subject he'd rather not think about. Donna put down the menu on her plate as Eric stroked her hand.  
  
"Donna, you're not all right," he spoke quietly, "Do you want to go home?"  
  
"No," Going home was a bad idea, she only cried when she was extremely hurt and upset and she could feel the tears coming on-going home and crying, even if she was in her husband's arms was not a good thing. "I think we should order."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yes, Eric, I'm sure, but I love you for it."  
  
Hyde read Tiffany a story and tucked her in bed. She was such a sweet girl; he never loved anyone so small before. He never thought he'd be married to Jackie in a million years, it made all the crap from the past few years worth it. They were denied their romantic church wedding because Kelso was a dill hole that deserved death right along with Jackie's ex- husband. He sat on the chair and watched her sleep. She was so accepting of him. It made him think ever so briefly of his Mother who always made it clear that he was loser like his Father and that he'd never amount to anything. And here he was in this ultra-posh apartment married to Jackie, a stepfather to Tiffany, and was going to a Father himself come next spring. It inspired him to get into music again; he could easily find a band to produce in this big city where everyone goes to be a star. Unlike LA where everyone thinks THEY ARE a celebrity. He got rid of his Wisconsin apartment, he was definitely going to make sure that they spent a lot of time in their Pennsylvania cottage, and then there was the other place he thought of buying but at the last minute pulled out everything but his deposit because he knew someone else wanted it and that he would be paid back. He couldn't wait to see Jackie develop month by month, he couldn't wait to assemble toys, and give the love that he was always denied growing up. Life was all about choices and despite the great many bumps along the way Hyde was convinced that he made the right ones. He had no regrets. That wasn't entirely true, but it was nothing that he wanted to think about at the moment. Still if you could go back in time and change things just to make the outcome safe and predictable than regrets were not worth having. You had to be proud of your choices. They made you who you are. Tiffany turned in her sleep taking him out of his thoughts. She was okay she just liked to sleep on her side.  
  
"Oh, there you are, Steven." Jackie whispered from the doorway.  
  
"Hi, Jackie. I was just watching her sleep."  
  
"I know, she's adorable. She's getting so big. Next thing you know she'll be dating some idiot in a letter sweater." Jackie made sure Tiffany had enough blankets.  
  
"Don't get carried away."  
  
"I think we should go to bed, too, I'm tired." She yawned  
  
"Jackie---"  
  
"Yeah, Steven?"  
  
"I love you." He could still blush saying it. You'd think by now he could be comfortable with the mushy-stuff but it was still always difficult to say, even to Jackie.  
  
"I love you, too. Come on, let's have make love before I get too big to do it!" She quietly ran out of the room so that Hyde would have to catch her. Jackie Burkhart was an amazing woman.  
  
Donna was grateful that Eric didn't press her; he was quiet at the restaurant and during the drive home. He let her take an hour-long bath and did not disturb her. She put on her old UofW basketball t-shirt and gray jogging pants hoping that he would be asleep when she slid in next to him.  
  
"Eric, are you sleeping?" she kept her voice below a whisper. No reply. Good.  
  
She snuggled into his chest, making sure not to wake him. She didn't want words. Not tonight. In ten minutes Donna felt her eyes close and she was in between the conscious and unconscious thought process. It was then that Eric spoke softly.  
  
"Donna, I love you."  
  
"Me too," Was this real or Memorex, "Just hold me, Eric."  
  
6:10AM  
  
Eric sat next to Donna on the edge of the bed. He tried getting dressed but only got as far as his white button down shirt. She blinked open her eyes. Normally she would have been annoyed being woken up so early but today she was glad to see Eric at her side.  
  
"You're up, I don't feel like going to work, Donna." He kissed her 'good morning'  
  
"No, Eric, it's okay, you don't have to take the day off. I have to finish my article today." She didn't want to but she knew she had to. Although being with her husband all day was tempting.  
  
She stroked his hair and put it behind his ear and smiled.  
  
"Care to share?"  
  
"Eric, don't freak, I think it looks cute-you're going---"  
  
"Don't you say dare say it, Donna, don't dare you say it!"  
  
"Gray! Just a little bit behind your ear, let me see the other side of your head." If it made her smile-  
  
"Are you done?"  
  
"Yeah, it's only one the one side," She kissed him, she knew he would get all nervous about 'getting older'.  
  
"Okay, enough about my hair. You know it seems a shame to waste this moment, when I haven't got any pants on."  
  
"That's true, so come back to bed-hey," She noticed the tie draped over his shirt.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I can't believe you still have that tie. I bought you that years ago when you got your internship at the bank in Madison."  
  
"I know, I found it in the back of the drawer."  
  
"Eric, I'm saying this for your own good, shut up." And they spent the next hour in bed together making love to each other.  
  
Donna wanted to be happy for Jackie and Hyde but it was very difficult, because no matter what anyone told her, Eric included, she still felt that everything bad that happened was her fault. That was one of the reasons why she wanted to divorce Eric so that he could find a woman who could give him the child that he always wanted. While he was still young enough to raise it. She couldn't have a life without Eric it was proven to her when yet again they wound up back together. They were meant to be together. It felt like they were cheated not having a child. She didn't even think that she would be that good of a Mother, she only knew she wouldn't run away like Midge did. She couldn't tell Jackie any of this. The only thing that Jackie knew was that she wanted a baby and felt that she cheated Eric out of being a Father-she was the one who even guessed it when her and Eric first visited Jackie in New York. It also bugged Donna that Jackie was going to be a Mother of two children while she had zero. Life was not fair.  
  
"Donna, I have my lunch hour free---" Eric buttoned up his blazer as she looked in the closet trying to find something decent to wear. She thought she might be having a mid life crisis as she was never one to think about clothes.  
  
"Get the number #9 at the Revolution café." She settled on her purple v- neck sweater.  
  
"I'll see you at one, Love you." He kissed her "goodbye".  
  
"Wait," Donna laughed, "Your tie is crooked."  
  
"Thank you, my lady," that always made her laugh, "What would I do without you?"  
  
"I don't know, Eric, but you'd be walking around with a crooked tie. There."  
  
He put his hands on her shoulders. "One last kiss before I start the workday?"  
  
"You're cute when you beg, Eric, because it's totally unnecessary. Don't you realize by now that I'll kiss you anyway?"  
  
2 Weeks Later  
  
Boxes. The sight of all the boxes made Kitty Forman sad. She didn't want to leave the house that she's known for most of her adult life. The house she raised her son, daughter, and half of the neighborhood kids in. They found a moderate priced apartment complex in Florida and wanted to leave Wisconsin before the inevitable snow came. Some volunteers from the church came by to help them pack. While Red wanted to throw all of the stuff that Eric and Laurie never took with them, Kitty just made sure they were put in boxes marked "Eric" and "Laurie" and they could decide what they wanted to throw away and what they wanted to keep. That might not be completely necessary she thought as she wrapped some of her figurines in bubble wrap and newspaper. They didn't have to take the furniture with them so what the new buyer didn't want could easily be donated to the Salvation Army. She was happy that Jackie and Steven were going to be parents. Steven would make an excellent Father and Kitty saw that Jackie was great with Tiffany. She felt sad for Eric and Donna and Kitty knew the whole story and realized it had to be tough for them. They always talked about adoption but they kept putting it off for various reasons, one of them being that Eric was afraid his problem would be a deterrent. She tried to tell him it wasn't and that he could get letters of recommendation from many doctors and counselors. She didn't know about his relapses nor his most recent stint in rehab, but even if she were aware of those things she would still believe that Eric deserved to be a Father and that Donna would be an excellent Mother. She heard Red argue with the garbage man and knew Florida would do him a world of good as they wouldn't have to deal with the sanitation crew and there was an on site housekeeping staff like a hotel so neither one of them would have to lift a real finger. She was going to miss Point Place, Wisconsin. It was a great little town to raise a family in. They shared a lot of great times in this house. She didn't want delude herself not all the times were great, but there were more good memories attached to this house than bad ones. She put the last of her figurines in a box, watching the house empty itself. She could picture her happy self-making breakfast to a grumpy but loving husband, a sweet son, and her trouble-making whore of a daughter. Kitty wanted a goodbye party, but Red didn't want anyone making a fuss over them just because they were going to Florida. Eric and Donna paid the moving expenses and Hyde and Jackie paid for their plane tickets to Florida. Laurie who wanted to distance herself from the family more and more offered nothing but her "love" and a tacky vase with plastic flowers in it, that Kitty couldn't even donate to the hospital because it was in such bad taste that she just threw it away. She hoped the kids would come to Florida for Thanksgiving. It was going to be odd to have Thanksgiving dinner when everybody outside would be wearing tank tops and shorts. Kitty was going to have to break in a new kitchen and that was sad to her. She thought she was going to be in this little house forever. Last night when she couldn't sleep over Red's snoring she thought she heard all the kid's voices in the basement. They weren't kids anymore; her son was forty years old! Kitty wished she could go back in time for only one day and have milk and cookies out for the kids after they came home from school. Then there came a time when Eric wanted to pretend he had no parents because everything they did was embarrassing. At least he grew out of that phase unlike Laurie. She missed being a Mother, she was a Grandmother but rarely got to see Laurie's son. She hoped that Steven, Jackie, Tiffany, and the new baby would come to Florida for a visit.  
  
"Kitty, are you done in here?" asked Red  
  
"No," She didn't want him to see her cry, "I'm going to miss this house, Red, and I know you will, too. I wish my babies were still babies!" Kitty cried in her husband's arms.  
  
"I know, Kitty, I know. I'm going to miss Point Place, Wisconsin, too."  
  
The only thing that remained in all the rooms were the pieces of furniture that they weren't bringing, because their new place in Florida was already furnished.  
  
"I need to have one last walk through, Red." She held out her hand, almost surprised that the normally unsentimental Red would accompany her for one last walk through the house that they married and raised their family in. Kitty hoped that whoever owned this house next would love and care for it the way she had for all these years. She hoped one of them would buy it saving it from being sold to cold strangers who would change the layout and then leave.  
  
Steven or Eric? Eric wanted the house and hated the idea of his parents selling it. Steven put a bid in after that fact but Donna explained that Eric wanted the house but was too proud to put a bid in. It broke her heart that they weren't close like they used to be. Could this house and Jackie's pregnancy make it impossible for the two men to ever put all the bad stuff behind them? This was one situation that fresh from the oven logic couldn't fix and it broke Kitty's heart.  
  
Steven and Eric, and only, Steven and Eric she decided could make it right again. No one else could. 


	2. Donna Wants A Baby

Chapter 2 Donna Wants A Baby  
  
Every Story Has An Arc  
  
Thanksgiving 2000  
  
Eric and Hyde unknown to the other one both ironically told Kitty that she didn't have to go through the trouble of preparing a proper Thanksgiving meal when her and Red just moved into their new place. Eric suggested they go out instead, Kitty said "No, it's not Thanksgiving if it takes place in a restaurant." and Hyde thought of getting takeout from one of those gourmet grocers and Kitty told him "Takeout is not an option for Thanksgiving." She was just happy that they were all coming, Eric knew Hyde was going to be there and he didn't say anything to his Mother and Hyde knew Eric was going to be there and he didn't complain to Kitty. She didn't ask about the house because she didn't need the stress. Eric was worried about Donna, she seemed more withdrawn and inward, he was used to her venting and shouting. He knew she was sad because her Father couldn't come to Florida to be with them. What kind of daughter mails a goody package for her Dad in Chicago for Thanksgiving? Eric tried to reassure her, but sometimes it fell on deaf ears. He also knew it was really Jackie's pregnancy that was making Donna feel depressed, but she didn't want to talk about it. Even when he tried to gently bring the subject to light, she would shut him up even by means of sex. Which sometimes in an odd twist of fate was the best it ever was. Donna was pretending to watch the in-flight movie, Eric knew it was just an excuse to put on headphones so she wouldn't have to talk and he pretended to be interested in the airline magazine. He held her hand the whole way but was concerned that she didn't seem at all responsive. Then he thought about if she was like this in front of everybody no one was going to have more questions than his Mother and no one was going to be more critical than Hyde especially if Jackie broke down and started crying. If he and Hyde fought over this they would never make up the way that Kitty wanted because his thoughts were on his wife. Eric knew Hyde would have the same mindset concerning Jackie. The flight attendant was giving the landing announcements which was unnecessary to anyone who has flown more than once. Donna took off the headphones and put her seat in the upright position.  
  
"Finally, I thought we'd never get here." Donna huffed.  
  
Eric wasn't sure if he should just nod in agreement or reply in words. He didn't want to do anything that would make her angry. He knew she wasn't cross at him, but no one wants to get someone's anger taken out on them.  
  
"I know," Eric checked to make sure his seat belt was buckled. "Donna." He refrained from saying more words than necessary.  
  
"And to think we have to do this again a month from now for f***ing Christmas!"  
  
How could Eric respond to that?  
  
Thankful  
  
Jackie put the finishing touch of her lipstick on after she got Tiffany dressed. There was only one guest room in this apartment. Where were Donna and Eric going to sleep? She didn't dare bring that up to Steven she didn't want to hear his reply of where Eric would be sleeping. Steven purchased Tiffany an Aero bed.  
  
"Mommy!"  
  
"What is it, sweetie?" She put on a light dab of her cologne.  
  
"Steven and Mr. Forman are watching football. It's boring!"  
  
Jackie laughed, "I know. Did you help Mrs. Forman in the kitchen?"  
  
"A little."  
  
"Do you want a little blush on your cheeks?"  
  
"No!"  
  
Jackie thought back to when Tiffany was an infant and had no say when she got her nails painted ballerina pink for her holiday picture. She now understood Mrs. Forman's ramblings about all of them being "grown up"-Tiffany was still little and Jackie thought she was growing up way too quickly and wanted to keep her small forever.  
  
"When Donna comes we'll see if she wants to go shopping." That wasn't likely, she hasn't phoned much and there was something lacking in that card she received that was signed by her and Eric.  
  
"Shopping, eww!"  
  
"Maybe, Eric will play with you." Now that they were married she prayed that, that wouldn't bother Steven. She hoped not. She did not want Tiffany in the middle of anyone's arguments.  
  
Tiffany yawned and crawled on the bed.  
  
"Do you want to take a nap, baby?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Let's get you tucked in," Jackie put a light blanket over her and kissed her on the cheek, "When you wake up Eric and Donna will be here."  
  
"Okay." Tiffany replied before falling asleep.  
  
All that Eric hoped for was that everyone would get along with everyone else. That included himself and Hyde. He wouldn't start anything. He was beyond that. Hyde did know how to be cordial plus Jackie would not want him starting. They got along okay at Jackie and Hyde's surprise wedding but then again, it all happened so fast and there was no reception. The next thing Eric knew after Donna had a brief talk with his Mother they were ready to drive the five hours to St. Louis and after being in New York for a few days and flying to Wisconsin, that drive back home was hardly pleasant. He knocked on the door. 4C. His parents lived in 4C. His parents were apartment people. That was as wrong as a teacher who punishes the whole class from going on a field trip when only one student taped the centerfold from a porno mag on the blackboard. When Eric was on the plane he knew what the first five minutes of arriving would be like, Kitty giving him a great big hug and lots of kisses, a handshake with a nod from his Father, and a grumble from Hyde. He was right.  
  
Jackie sat in the kitchen with her hands around the warm teacup.  
  
"Hi, Jackie," Eric wanted to say more, but couldn't. He gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Happy Thanksgiving."  
  
"Hi, Eric. Hello, Donna."  
  
Eric looked at Donna it was one of those cases where five seconds felt like five millenniums.  
  
"Hey, Jackie."  
  
"I'm sorry there's only one guestroom, and I gave that to Jackie and Steven. You won't mind sleeping on the sofas in the living room?" Kitty asked, laughing a bit.  
  
"It's all right, Mom."  
  
"That's fine." Donna replied  
  
Jackie had to break the ice. She understood why Donna was depressed and she wanted to remain understanding of the situation.  
  
"I need to get some air, would you like to go shopping with me, Donna?"  
  
"I think it's greed when stores that don't need to be open on holidays are open on holidays."  
  
"Hi, Eric!" Enter Tiffany carrying a travel game "Hi, Donna!"  
  
"Hi, Tiffany." Eric and Donna replied in unison. He hugged her.  
  
"Will you play with me, Eric?"  
  
Kitty thought that was cute. "Sure. Donna---" He didn't know what to say to his wife, he just knew that he had to say something to acknowledge the situation.  
  
"Jackie, if you are going out-Is it all right if I crash in the guest room? I'm tired from the flight."  
  
"That's no problem." Jackie replied gently.  
  
"I'm sorry we don't have another guest room, those apartments were out of our price range." Kitty replied, sensing the tension.  
  
"It's all right, Mom. We'll be fine." Eric kissed Donna on the cheek; Tiffany held his hand to lead him to the dining room table where they could play their board game.  
  
"Be good, baby," Jackie kissed her, there was no two ways about it, she had to stop growing, "Where did I put my purse?" She thought out loud  
  
"In the living room by Steven!"  
  
Jackie had hoped that Tiffany would have started calling Hyde "Daddy" by now. It was going to take time and they didn't want to force her but Jackie thought it would be nice if she said on Thanksgiving. She hoped Donna wouldn't blow her top at the dinner table. Donna was not the type of woman who did things for dramatic effect. She really didn't want to go shopping alone but she figured she could look for some baby things that always made her feel better.  
  
~Donna's dream flashback~  
  
Donna was eight years old and saw the sign in big red letters. "No Girls Allowed". That was not fair. It was only Eric, Hyde, and Kelso. She played with them all the time, but whenever they went up to Eric's tree house they wouldn't let her in. She liked it best when Hyde and Kelso went home and it was just her and Eric playing in the basement or the living room. Mrs. Forman made the best cookies and cakes. He was different when he was with Hyde and Kelso. Almost mean like when he tried to scare her with a rubber spider. Please. It was a fake spider. But they did get Kelso with it later on and that was hilarious. She went up the ladder and didn't knock she just went in. She was a girl. To them she was the enemy.  
  
"Hey!" They all said, sitting in the familiar albeit non-smoked filled circular pattern  
  
"No girls allowed!" Hyde said-and watch Eric agree with him, just watch, Donna thought.  
  
"I thought you were smart, can't you read Donna?" Eric said. She knew deep inside he wanted her to stay. Her Mother explained it to her last night.  
  
She pushed Eric, god that was too easy, he didn't even try to fight her, and sat next to him.  
  
"I'm staying!" Donna replied stubbornly  
  
"Then we're leaving!" Kelso said trying to outdo Hyde and be the leader.  
  
"If someone leaves it's going to be Donna!" Hyde said. Donna was cool FOR A GIRL but this was a boy's only tree house and seven years later they'd never ever kick a girl out of the room but for now they were eight years old and had no active hormones.  
  
"We'll take a vote." Kelso said  
  
"For someone so stupid sometimes you have good ideas." Hyde said  
  
"Michael," Kitty called up, "Your Mom wants you to go home!"  
  
"Aww! I'll be back don't vote without me!" Kelso exited the tree house.  
  
"He loses his right to vote," Hyde said  
  
"I vote for myself that I stay!" Donna replied sticking to her guns  
  
"You can't stay! You're a girl! Your turn, Forman."  
  
Eric held the deciding vote in his hands. "I'm sorry, Donna, but you can't stay."  
  
She wasn't going to cry. Not in front of them. She stood up, "Fine! You guys are jerks!"  
  
She made sure to kick Eric in the shin before leaving. Eric was always mean when he was with his friends.  
  
After dinner at the Pinciotti house:  
  
"Who was at the door?" asked Bob  
  
"I don't know, they left this on the porch." Midge replied  
  
It was a five cent chocolate bar. It had to be from Eric.  
  
"That's for me, Mom." Donna took the candy bar and ran out the back door. She knocked on the Forman's kitchen door.  
  
"Hello, Donna, what brings you by?" asked Kitty  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Forman, may I see Eric?"  
  
"Sure, honey. He's in the basement."  
  
Donna quietly walked down the stairs to see Eric watching TV by himself. Thank god Hyde and Kelso were not there.  
  
"Hi, Eric."  
  
"Oh, hi, Donna." He had to act like he didn't care that she was in the room.  
  
She sat next to him on the sofa to watch TV.  
  
"Thanks for the candy bar," She opened it up and broke it in half  
  
"I didn't leave you a candy bar." Eric replied obviously lying, she could tell. Boys did this all the time.  
  
She tapped him on the shoulder and gave him half. She really liked Eric Forman and someday he was going to really like her too.  
  
~End dream flashback~  
  
It wasn't so bad Eric thought. He didn't know if it was because there was a child present or because his parents were getting older and they were in their new apartment in Florida but the actual Thanksgiving dinner went remarkably well under the circumstances. It was ten o'clock and Donna was taking a shower before bed and Eric was going through their shared suitcase to find a sweatshirt he noticed a letter sticking out from the bottom. It was from the University of Wisconsin and addressed to Donna. He didn't receive one so it couldn't have been about something that concerned all alumni. He didn't mean to reach for it and he didn't know what possessed him to open it and he certainly knew it was wrong to read someone else's (even if that someone else was your spouse and best friend) mail. He tried skimming to the important parts so it wouldn't count on reading Donna's letter but Eric knew that was bull****, he was reading Donna's mail. He just wanted to make all of her pain go away.  
  
Tears  
  
It was four forty-five in the morning when Eric opened up his eyes. Donna wasn't there. Donna wanted Eric to share a sofa with her. Eric was going to have to get his parents a sofa bed for Christmas. He grabbed his sneakers in the dark looking in the kitchen and dining area just incase Donna was looking for a quiet place to write. No sign of her. His instincts knew she wasn't in the apartment. He took the spare key that Kitty gave him earlier and put it in his pocket and quietly left. Once he got out of the elevator Eric didn't know where to look for her. He put his back to the colorful soda vending machine in the lobby and heard crying. He looked up and noticed the sign "Laundry Room" with a green arrow pointing right. He found Donna sitting on the floor, hands in her face, sobbing uncontrollably something he rarely saw her do.  
  
"Donna," Eric did the first thing that came into his mind, he sat on the floor next to her and put his arms around her, "Let me help you. Get this out of your system, you'll feel better." He tried to soothe her. He held her tight. Resisting the urge to cry himself.  
  
She cried in his shoulder for a good solid minute before Eric spoke first.  
  
"Donna, remember what I told you about-----" He wiped away her tears with his hand.  
  
She put a finger to his lips, "I know you're cool with things, but maybe, I'm not. Maybe, I cannot accept how certain things panned out for us. I want us to have a baby and I know it's childish to be jealous of Jackie because I am happy for her and Hyde, but I can't help myself, Eric. I love you so much and I want us to have a family of our own."  
  
"I love you, too, Donna, you mean everything to me, and it has hurt me to see you like this. I want to have a child, too."  
  
"I know you're worried about your time in rehab counting against you-I'm sure it won't."  
  
"Times in rehab," Eric gently corrected. If it were only one time and one rehab center it wouldn't have worried him as much. "Donna, I read your letter." He blurted out because he didn't want to think about his problem with Cocaine.  
  
"What letter?"  
  
"From the University."  
  
"Oh. I accidentally put that in the suitcase. I wasn't going to write my biography for the journalism alumni who's who but," She kissed him and stood up, "I feel so much better that I just might. Come on, Eric," She helped him up, "It seems wrong to be in Florida and not walk along the beach at least once. Let's see the sunrise---and Eric,"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Thank you for always being there for me."  
  
He thought he'd never see her beautiful smile again. To Eric Forman that was the sunrise.  
  
"You know we're going to be greeted by my Mother as soon as I open this door." Eric took the key out of his pocket.  
  
"It's okay, Eric actually I'm starving for one of your Mother's big breakfasts."  
  
"And we both know the reason why!"  
  
She playfully punched him the arm. "Eric, I'm warning you---"  
  
"What?" He replied with his childlike eyes.  
  
Eric opened the door he was more psychic than those fakers with one nine hundred telephone numbers.  
  
"Oh, there you two are!" Kitty gushed  
  
"We went for a walk on the beach." Eric replied  
  
"I bet you two kissed!"  
  
"Tiffany!" Jackie ran in the living room after her. "I'm sorry about that."  
  
"That's all right," Eric said  
  
"Jackie, may I talk to you for a minute?"  
  
That was Kitty's cue to take Tiffany back to her pancakes, Eric didn't want to leave Donna, but knew she was going to be okay.  
  
Jackie sat on the sofa. She didn't want to say a word until she knew what Donna wanted to say to her first.  
  
"Jackie, I'm sorry if I've been acting like a bitch lately. I think it's great that you and Hyde are having a baby. I just was jealous of your pregnancy. Because I want to have a baby and I can't. Not physically."  
  
"Oh, Donna," Jackie hugged her and was surprised that Donna let her. "I know and you have every right to be upset. You and Eric can always adopt."  
  
"We've talked about that, but something doesn't seem right about it. I can't explain it."  
  
"You know you can talk to me anytime."  
  
"Mommy! Your breakfast is getting cold." Tiffany shouted from the kitchen  
  
"I'll be there in a minute."  
  
Donna stood up, "We can talk more about this later. I'm actually starving, myself. I haven't been good company to anyone lately, the fact that Eric has put up with my moods at all he deserves a medal."  
  
"Our flight leaves tomorrow, would you like to go out for lunch today?" Jackie asked  
  
"Sure. Is Hyde in the kitchen?"  
  
"No, Steven's sleeping in. I have a feeling those two are going to make up soon."  
  
"I hope so. I can tell it hurts Eric," Donna had to whisper the rest, "You have no idea on the weight he carries about-------" Donna stopped herself from saying the rest.  
  
"Steven doesn't think so and that's why he barely tolerates Eric."  
  
"This is not the place to talk about this. Let's save it for when we go out for lunch."  
  
Jackie was glad that she and Donna had what finally could be called a real friendship.  
  
"Is everything all right?" asked Eric, pouring hot water in a cup for Donna's tea.  
  
"Everything's fine." She kissed him on the cheek  
  
"THAT'S SO CUTE!" Tiffany laughed  
  
"Donna, you barely ate your dinner yesterday, I hope that you are in the mood for some breakfast." Kitty piled her plate before Donna could respond.  
  
"Trust me, she's hungry." Eric quipped  
  
"I wouldn't mind more pancakes." Jackie said  
  
"This will be your third helping, dear."  
  
"I know, but I'm starving."  
  
"That's because there's a baby inside!" Tiffany replied, dipping her bacon in the syrup.  
  
"Where's Dad?" Eric asked  
  
"Trying to read his paper in peace in our bedroom."  
  
"Jackie, did you and Hyde decide on any names yet?" Donna asked, it felt good to eat again.  
  
"You could do Luke if it's a boy and Leia if it's a girl." Eric offered  
  
Donna threw a sugar packet at him, "Eric! You need to seriously get a life!"  
  
But the truth was she loved it when he was goofy.  
  
"Yeah, yeah, but you love me."  
  
"Steven should be getting up soon, you don't mind I surprise him with breakfast in bed?" She asked Kitty  
  
"That's fine, Jackie." Kitty was happy that both of her boys had great women in their lives.  
  
"Is that how the baby gets inside?" Tiffany asked  
  
Jackie blushed, "Tiffany! If you're done eating, wash your hands."  
  
"Okay! Eric will you watch cartoons with me?"  
  
Donna thought that was cute. She really could see him as a Father.  
  
"Why not? I should've brought my Star Wars tapes."  
  
"Not since 1977 that a day hasn't gone by--" Donna teased  
  
"I heard that." Eric replied  
  
"Today is black Friday who wants to go shopping?" Jackie asked while making a plate for Steven. He should have been awake by now.  
  
"Not me." Kitty and Donna replied in unison. Donna had no problems with going out for lunch but did not want to go near a shopping mall today. Donna believed if you were organized and purchased your gifts as you thought about them during the course of the year there would be no reason for hustling around like a chicken with your head cut off just to get Christmas gifts. She was determined to make it a great Christmas for herself and Eric.  
  
"Eric, if you and Steven are friends how come you don't talk?" Tiffany asked while the anvil was about to fall on the animated animals head. Smart kid.  
  
"I don't know," he sighed, wishing he knew the reason why, "I don't know." 


	3. That Day

Chapter 3 That Day  
  
Jackie and Donna settled on a mid priced restaurant that was within walking distance from Red and Kitty's new apartment. Donna wasn't that hungry for lunch she was still recovering from her big breakfast but she still ordered a small chef salad and glass of spring water.  
  
"I don't think we should have this talk. It's just too risky to talk about Eric and Hyde." Donna said as soon as the waiter put their order on the table.  
  
"Why? Just because we are married to them? We've all known each other a very long time." Although, Jackie knew Donna, Steven, and Eric knew each other the longest. That used to matter when they were kids, but it didn't matter now.  
  
"I just don't want us to wind up fighting." Donna replied  
  
"We won't." Jackie pleaded  
  
"Okay, we left off on you saying Hyde thinks Eric has no regrets regarding that-incident." It was no one's business in this restaurant what they were talking about.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"You're both wrong. He thinks about that everyday. You just have to trust me on what we said to each other. I cannot break Eric's confidence. I'm sorry if that offends you, Jackie."  
  
Eric never talked about THAT DAY in specifics because the truth was he that didn't remember. His doctor's said it was common behavior for addicts or anyone else for that matter to commit a horrible act and block out the details as a coping mechanism. Donna hated seeing the weight Eric carried on his shoulders, sure he could disguise it and be everybody's friend at the office, the obsessed Star Wars fan that has to spend two hundred dollars on  
  
Ebay for a comic book, and most importantly a wonderful husband, but the weight was still there. How could Hyde not know this? How could Hyde not see this? He knew Eric wasn't himself. Donna wished she could rewind the tape back to before herself and Eric started dating-everything could be perfect. Especially if she could go back in time knowing then what she knew now. Unfortunately you could not go back in time and you had to face each day as it happened for better or worse.  
  
"It doesn't. Is there something you'd like to say, Donna?"  
  
"Yes, what was Hyde thinking coming to St. Louis with-that stuff- what in the Hell was that about?"  
  
"He wanted Eric to dispose of it like he did with you."  
  
"A part of me can understand that, Jackie. I really can. But soon after that and although I know Eric would tell me he has to be responsible for his own actions-he started up soon after. I don't blame Hyde for all of that, just some of it. Especially when Eric had his first relapse."  
  
Jackie sighed, "Don't blame Steven for Eric's problem."  
  
"I'm not. This is why I didn't want to talk about this with you, Jackie. You want to freak out. And we didn't even touch the surface. He didn't have to put that stuff in his presence."  
  
"While we're on that, Donna, I believe Eric was high," She whispered, "In front of Tiffany. That's why they were late coming home that day. Although, I am grateful he waited to come down before putting my baby in a car."  
  
Donna wanted to tell Jackie that she saw Eric hold Tiffany in his arms crying over what he had done and how she witnessed Hyde call him "pathetic", but it would have done more harm than good.  
  
"I don't know where this gets us? You and I."  
  
"I just think it needs to be said-Steven thinks Eric has no regrets and okay, you two talked about it, and you say he has. Do you know how much that hurts Steven? I'm not talking about physically and the fact that he almost died. He and Eric were friends since Kindergarten. Steven helped Eric rebel a little and Eric helped keep Steven on the straight and narrow, most  
  
of the time. Steven's not a wordy guy and he's not about to hold out his hands to Eric when he feels that Eric has no remorse."  
  
"I'm sorry that Hyde feels that way. Didn't it speak to him when he---"  
  
"Hit Brad with the golf club? Steven said that was much too little and much too late." Jackie thought that was a great gesture on Eric's part, but Steven wasn't having any of it.  
  
"What about that phone message Eric overheard? Maybe you two wouldn't have remarried-maybe you wouldn't be pregnant right now-if Eric didn't. If you got to the machine first you'd have just erased it and you two probably would not be married right now. I really don't think this is a good idea to talk about this. We're going to wind up hating each other, Jackie because you love Hyde as much as I love Eric."  
  
"You have no idea on how much I hated Eric when I found out what he did. But I was so grateful that Steven was alive and I knew Eric was strung out that he wasn't all there---and when you and I fought in the hospital- Donna, I'm just tired of it all." Jackie drank her decaf iced tea.  
  
"And I'm not tired of it all, either? I realize most of this is my fault. Why did I have an affair with Hyde? I hope that---"  
  
"It's all right, Donna, I'm not a frail china doll that's going to shatter in a million pieces just because you and Steven had sex a very long, long time ago-and that was way before Steven and I got back together. I wouldn't say what Eric did was your fault. He knows this, how come you don't?"  
  
"Jackie, you're being too nice. In a way it's all my fault. I am the reason why all of this happened in the first place. Do you know why I shut Eric out during our first marriage? It broke my heart all the times he tried with baited breath to "save us"-I knew he wanted a family so I was giving him an easy out but rather than divorce we just stayed separated. -It wasn't until he found out about the affair-"  
  
"I told him that." Jackie whispered  
  
"Yeah, I know, what were you thinking?" There were many times that Donna wanted to tell Eric, but knowing how much it would have devastated him she chose not to.  
  
"I thought Steven loved you and as much as it would have devastated me. I was trying to put you two together."  
  
Donna had to laugh over that one, "You have some nerve."  
  
"I was only trying to help."  
  
"It was easy fantasizing about Hyde---are you sure you want to hear this?" Donna gently asked  
  
"It's okay," She held up her left hand to remind Donna that she was Mrs. Jackie Hyde, "Go ahead."  
  
"It was easy fantasizing about Hyde because I was running away from Eric. He was the one who demanded the divorce go through. I didn't want it as much as he didn't want it. It's crystal clear you only do hard drugs when you are depressed and bitter. Eric did Coke because he was broken hearted over us. That's why I will always say it's my fault. "  
  
"Donna, you are too hard on yourself. Does Eric know that you blame yourself so often?"  
  
"Yeah and he assures me it's not my fault, and I love him so much for that. But you cannot change facts. I just would like to see him and Hyde be friends again. We've all tried including Mrs. Forman to get them back on track again with no luck, then we all decide to let them be the ones to do it themselves, but they're men and they're stubborn. I know Eric misses having the real Steven Hyde in his life. Not the one who mumbles at him at the dinner table."  
  
"Steven doesn't think Eric isn't remorseful. That's why he flipped out when he saw Eric and Tiffany asleep on the sofa."  
  
"He didn't have to beat up on him while he was sleeping did he? And you don't have to worry about me blaming Hyde for Eric's Coke run that night. I'm not. I don't know if those two will ever be real friends again. It's worse than death because the hole that's there doesn't have to be. Because unlike death it is something that can be reversed." Donna replied in her writer's wisdom. She couldn't eat anymore and pushed her salad plate away.  
  
"I hope I didn't say anything wrong, Donna, because I'm glad we're friends and I don't want to lose that just because our husbands aren't talking."  
  
"We're fine, Jackie. We've spent far too long dancing around these topics. We needed to have this talk."  
  
Jackie tried to smile, "I know you said you didn't want to go shopping seeing that it's black Friday but just one little trip in the mall-Steven found me a little plaque for my desk it says, "Shopping is good for the soul"."  
  
"Oh brother," Donna laughed, "I suppose we could do a little bit of shopping."  
  
Donna was the rare breed of women that did NOT like shopping. She shopped like a man she could be in and out of a store in fifteen minutes.  
  
"That's the spirit! On our way here, I saw a cute little sweater for Tiffany in a shop window. I have to buy it. What are you buying Eric for Christmas?" Jackie asked flagging down the waiter for the check.  
  
Jackie didn't want to tell Donna that Steven had said, "You already gave me my Christmas gift." referring to the pregnancy. She knew Donna was still hurting over not being able to have a baby that she didn't want to rub salt in her wounds.  
  
"I don't know. How do I top his birthday when I bought him a car and tickets to a Star Wars convention?"  
  
She didn't want to give him a material possession. A baby would have made the perfect Christmas gift. She wasn't going to get all emotional and start crying, but it would have made them both so happy.  
  
"I know! Donna, you should buy Eric a dirty board game. Steven and I play ours all the time!"  
  
Jackie and Hyde play dirty board games? It was almost like seeing your parents having sex in the backyard hammock. Eww. Donna didn't need that mental picture.  
  
"Um, no thanks. Eric and I have a great sex life, thank you."  
  
"I have to know," Jackie whispered as the waiter put the check on the table and quickly left, "Does Eric still have two key moves?"  
  
"Jackie! He's graduated up to four. He almost had five, but that was too disgusting even for him to try. Can we please change the subject?" Donna blushed.  
  
"Hey, I saw the two of you on my kitchen floor wrapped in my favorite tablecloth." Which Jackie had to have dry cleaned before she gave it away to one of the women she worked with.  
  
Donna picked up the check, "I'll pay." Anything to get off the subject. Donna didn't want to be rude but the older she got in this world the more she just wanted her time with Eric to be special and private. For no one else but them not for anyone's no matter how well meaning verbal entertainment.  
  
"I was going to be nice and pay."  
  
"Next time. Think of the money you'll save. Now you can buy an overpriced eyeliner."  
  
"Cute. Don't forget the tip, Mrs. Forman." Jackie replied in-jest.  
  
A few hours later  
  
Eric was in the shower but that didn't stop Donna from barging in. Being together this long had its advantages such as no more awkward adolescence insecurities.  
  
"Donna, is that you?"  
  
She peeked in the curtain. She'd have jumped right in but Red and Kitty wanted to treat both young couples to a dinner out. "Are you sure you go the gym, Eric? Because I don't see any evidence." Donna giggled  
  
Eric playfully closed the curtain back "Just for that no sex for you tonight."  
  
"Take this, Eric." Donna went to the sink and put the cold water on that ought to get him for being snappy.  
  
There was no response from him. It felt like time stood still. Donna had no idea that today, the day that he picked her up and brought her back up, she was going to have to do the same for him. She had no idea that today was going to be the day that Eric remembered THAT DAY.  
  
"Eric, I was only-" She heard the bar of soap hit the tub with such a loud bang that her heart was in her throat. "Eric, are you all right?" Sh**. What if he was having a heart attack?  
  
Donna opened the curtain to find Eric standing in the same spot, wet and freezing.  
  
"Eric, what's wrong?" If it wasn't her turmoil it was his. Were they turning into Jackie and Hyde where everyday seemed to be a soap opera?  
  
"C-old."  
  
She grabbed the biggest towel from the rack, took off her shoes, and went in the shower with him wrapping the towel around his body.  
  
"C-old w-water. I re-member." He wanted to slide down the shower and sit in the tub but Donna wouldn't let him.  
  
"Eric, what do you remember?" Donna asked, trying to make sure he was warm.  
  
"I was taking a shower in the old house and Hyde put the cold water on from downstairs--" Donna figured it would be better if they did sit down after all.  
  
Was Eric remembering THAT DAY? He never talked about that day. The only thing that he ever mentioned about it was that he was sorry for what he had done and that he felt very bad about it. He only knew what Red and Kitty told him and they weren't there when it happened. It was Hyde once he was released from the hospital who told the Forman's what their drugged out son did to him.  
  
"It's okay, Eric, take your time---" Donna whispered  
  
"No, I have to. I remember it all now. I can't remember all the words. I came downstairs to bitch at whoever turned the hot water off. Hyde and I had a fight about rehab. I went upstairs. I tried to lock my room door but he got in before I could. He had my bag of Coke, this is hard, Donna---"  
  
She squeezed his hand. "Go ahead, Eric, it's all right."  
  
"I don't remember the actual words, but I remember I wasn't leaving that room without it. I saw my trophy -Donna, it's my turn to cry---I can't talk about the rest. I remember what I did." He looked down rather than face her. How could he ever face her?  
  
"Eric, you can't keep it inside," She hugged him, "It's been haunting you for years now-" He couldn't lock it up again after he started opening up his soul. She was convinced he'd go back to Cocaine again if he came this far only to bury his feelings.  
  
"I hit Hyde on the side of the head with the trophy with all the force I had-look at me, the only way I could be that strong would be if I was on something. He was surprised that I hit him. He tried fighting back-This was not some play fighting on the basement sofa-he had my Coke and there was nothing I wouldn't do to get it back-I turned the trophy around to the pointy part and used it like a knife on my best friend, lunging it in him, like a murderer -he was out cold and I kept on stabbing him," Eric's eyes filled with tears, "Stabbing and stabbing him-I couldn't stop. I wanted him to be DEAD. I had no emotion on my face. This could have been anybody-my Mom, my Dad---even YOU. I grabbed my bag-and did half of it, as if he wasn't lying there clinging for his life -I don't remember how I got dressed and how I even left the house. Donna---" Eric cried in his wife's arms.  
  
"It's going to be all right, Eric. I love you," Donna tried to reassure him, "You must be freezing by now, let's get you dressed." Donna said  
  
He was there for her this very morning when she needed it and she wanted to be here for him when he needed it. She hoped that she was enough and that she was saying the right words, holding him when he needed to be held, and kissing him when he needed to be kissed. She wondered if Red and Kitty would be offended if they didn't go out with them. Donna was also worried about Eric facing Hyde. They were in this bathroom a very long time and it was like an episode of the Twilight Zone there were no noises coming from outside. No Red yelling for them to hurry up, that they had "reservations". Did they leave without them?  
  
"Looks like today was the day for both us to breakdown." Eric replied.  
  
It amazed him how much that they were in synch. There was a time way back when, and not just during adolescence, they weren't. He wished he could go back in time and do it all over again with the knowledge of this future existence. He'd never push her, demand that she promise things that she wasn't ready to promise, and he'd have his friendship with Hyde. He missed those lying on the hood of the Vista Cruiser with Donna times. How they seemed like a lifetime ago. Yet here they were in the year 2000 and they still had each other. He let Donna comb his hair. Didn't they have plans with his parents? He didn't want to go but he would put on a good face and go anyway. He would force something to eat down his throat so his Mother wouldn't worry if he was all right or not. He also had to prove to his Father that he never was going to take drugs again. Actually, he had to prove that to himself first.  
  
Donna kissed him softly on the lips, "I want you to realize something, Eric. You weren't in your right mind. You were high and had a terrible dependency problem. You were not your normal self." She helped him get dressed. She put her shoes back on.  
  
"I love you, I'm sorry for putting this all on your shoulders---" He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her close. He'd move Heaven and Earth for this woman. He embraced her tight, trying not to cry again. He wondered if there was going to be a full moon tonight? How odd for the both of them to be going through their own collective Hells on the very same day.  
  
"I love you, Donna-I'm so sorry that I gave you this burden." He caressed her cheek with his hand.  
  
"Ssh-you didn't put anything on my shoulders, Eric."  
  
Donna was relieved that Eric finally got this out of his system. It was important for his lifelong recovery. Even if he and Hyde never got back to where they once belonged, airing this out and having this intimate talk with her was good for his psyche. She almost didn't want him to tell his therapist or anyone in his twice a week support group but she knew he had to. He has told her some horror stories about the people in his support group, he couldn't say their names, but the people that never received real support and bailed on the whole system were the ones that would be dead within six months. Donna was going to make sure whenever he had any normal insecure doubts that he knew he had friends and family around him who cared about him. She loved him too much to see him fall. She always knew Eric Forman could be the man that he always wanted to be even on the days he didn't believe in himself.  
  
"I was this close to killing my best friend. Whether I was high or not does not justify my actions. Thank god it was 'just below the heart'-that's what everyone told me--but Donna, if Hyde died we'd be having this conversation on a prison phone. And that's only if I didn't OD first. I think that's what I was trying to do to myself. Oh my god-I meant all the times I said I was sorry and I realized everything everybody told me, but to remember it and see it in your mind is a different thing. Some people will say that I'm a victim too, because of the Coke, but that doesn't wash with me. Hyde's the real victim, he was the one I left for dead lying in his own blood, he was the one lying in the hospital bed hooked up to all those machines not me. If I were Hyde, I'd hate my guts forever, too." All she could do was tell him that it would be "all right", and that she loved him.  
  
Finally  
  
It was at that moment that Donna and Eric realized that they were not alone. She could've sworn that she closed the door all the way, but standing there in the doorway was Steven Hyde who overheard their conversation. Donna was just as frozen by the window as Eric was in the shower; she knew it wouldn't come to blows. They've both proven that they were beyond fighting and could be civil. She didn't know if Hyde would accept everything he must have overheard or was Eric not remorseful enough? Would Eric go in denial mode and put the wall up because men didn't have the same type of friendships as women did? They looked like two guys in a Western movie ready to go face-to-face at High Noon. Each man afraid to make a move until the other man drew first.  
  
"Forman,"  
  
Hyde hated words, other than telling Jackie how much he loved her he had no use for words, but how could he deny Eric words? He wasn't crying, maybe he would cry later on when no one was looking, he'd hide in the bathroom, but if he did that Jackie would know. All this time he thought Eric wasn't remorseful enough when it turned out he had the most terrible day of both their lives blocked out of his memory. What could Hyde say? He hated words, but he didn't hate Eric. He told Jackie that when she asked, he told Eric that when he went to his apartment. He made the excuse about Eric's alleged "selling out" as to why he didn't want to be his friend but that was a lie. He hoped Eric would say something next.  
  
"Hyde,"  
  
Donna bit her lip; she suddenly felt uncomfortable, almost claustrophobic in this bathroom and wanted to be outside with the others. At that moment she felt like an outsider-Eric and Hyde should be having this moment alone, but she didn't want to interrupt them to get to the door. Eric was more comfortable with words than Hyde but under the circumstances Donna realized why he couldn't get passed his name.  
  
"I don't know what to say to you," Hyde admitted  
  
Hyde wished right then and there that he had Jackie's gift of gab, but he couldn't change who he was. He couldn't be what he wasn't. It was hard for him to talk. He realized that Eric didn't attack him on purpose. If Eric wanted to deny that he was also a victim, because he valued what their friendship meant to him then that was okay. There was nothing he could say that would add to what he overheard Eric tell Donna. All he could do was hug him hoping that their wounds would heal and that they would be best friends once more. 


	4. The Dance

Chapter 4 The Dance  
  
Donna stayed in the bathroom as Kitty lavished Eric and Hyde with hugs and kisses and orders to Red to get the camera. Delighted that she got her "boys back".  
  
"Are you okay, Donna? Did you tell Eric what we spoke about?" asked Jackie watching her daughter hold both Steven and Eric's hands.  
  
"I'm fine," She wiped the corners of her eyes, she was doing too much crying lately, "these are tears of joy. And no I didn't tell Eric, he brought it up on his own." Even if she did supply the trigger point.  
  
"Do you want to go somewhere? I promise no shopping."  
  
Granted the plans of going out were obviously forgotten and no one wanted really wanted to go, despite Eric and Hyde being fawned over by Kitty, Donna still wanted them to have the moment by themselves. If they were going to be friends again they didn't need any buffers around them. Red would microwave Thanksgiving leftovers and watch sports, Tiffany would tire herself out, and that only left Kitty who would probably leave them alone once she realized they were done eating.  
  
"Not really, Jackie. I just want to sit somewhere quiet and write."  
  
"Well, I'm going to scoop up Tiffany and get something to eat, I'm starving. Do you want anything brought back?"  
  
"No, thanks. Listen-"  
  
"Listen to what? I don't hear anything."  
  
"I know. That means they aren't yelling. I'd say the worst of it is over. They have to decide if they want to be friends or not."  
  
"I don't know where you are going to find somewhere quiet to write, but you can stay in our room if you want."  
  
"No, I know where I'm going. Tell Eric not to worry when you get Tiffany in the kitchen."  
  
"I will, Donna. See you later."  
  
Before she left the apartment Donna closed and locked the bathroom door. She straightened up the towels and other assorted bath stuff so Kitty wouldn't have to clean it up. She needed to wash her hands so she put on the water in the sink full blast.  
  
12:15AM  
  
Donna felt Eric kiss her on the cheek.  
  
"Good night, Donna." he said  
  
"I'm still up, kind-of," Donna yawned, "How'd it go between you and Hyde?"  
  
"Okay, I guess. We didn't fight, if that's what you mean." Eric replied, trying to get comfortable on this sofa. He was definitely getting his parents a sofa bed for Christmas.  
  
"You two just need to take it one step at a time."  
  
"That sounds like the recovery mantra." Eric replied wryly.  
  
12:20AM  
  
Jackie sat up when she heard Steven walk in the room. She had to remember to talk quietly so she wouldn't wake Tiffany up.  
  
"So, Steven,"  
  
"So, Jackie," he took off his jeans as he sat on the bed.  
  
"How did it go between you and Eric?" Jackie asked  
  
"Fine."  
  
"Just fine?"  
  
"We didn't fight."  
  
"That's good," Jackie yawned, "Come to bed."  
  
"I will once you stop bugging me with questions," Hyde realized that might have sounded harsh, "Sorry."  
  
"That's okay. Good night, Steven." Jackie said when he finally joined her in bed.  
  
"Love you." He kissed her good night.  
  
Early December 2000 The Test  
  
Jackie invited Donna and Eric to come to New York City. It was a great sign to her that Steven didn't scoff at the suggestion when she brought it up over breakfast. He and Eric sent a few emails but what guy keeps that up when its another man on the other side of the modem? They weren't going to pick up the phone to "shoot the breeze" like women do. It was also their chance to have a Christmas gathering of sorts because they wouldn't be seeing each other during the holidays. Donna was going through Hyde's records that suddenly found their way into the modern living room. He moved the CD player to their room to put a record player in its place. She picked up the 1976 reissue single of Aerosmith's "Dream On". That song along with Led Zeppelin's "Stairway to Heaven" were the most requested when she worked at WFPP and was unofficially known as "Hot Donna". The Burkhart-Hyde apartment was decorated for Christmas; the only thing missing was the tree because Jackie always had it delivered on Christmas Eve.  
  
"Hey, Eric," Donna wondered what took him so long? He only had to park their rental car, "Let's dance."  
  
Eric didn't like to dance but considering all that they've been through, he wouldn't deny his wife's request.  
  
"What brought this on?" He asked  
  
"Your scrawny body turns me on."  
  
"I know it, baby. -Hey, wait a minute didn't we decide that I was 'wirey'?"  
  
"Shut up, Eric, and just dance." Donna replied.  
  
Jackie was in the kitchen talking to Hyde on the telephone.  
  
"Yeah, they are. Make sure you don't load Tiffany up with junk food. Okay. Love you, Steven. Bye."  
  
Jackie hung up the telephone and brought the drinks in.  
  
"All right, that's enough," Jackie turned the record off, "Don't you two ever stop?"  
  
"What's with you?" Donna asked  
  
"I'm sorry you guys. I got a phone call from Brad today." Jackie wanted to go the bar and dump vodka in her iced tea but didn't because if Steven found out she even thought of having a drink while pregnant he'd be just as angry as if she had the drink anyway.  
  
"What did HE want?" Donna asked before Eric could  
  
"To see Tiffany. Like he cares. He hasn't pushed the adoption issue since I mailed him a copy of his phone message to me. He wants Tiffany to go to some dance tomorrow-but I know it's to show off his daughter like some mini ornament to the secretary he's probably f***ing. Don't tell Steven that I told you that."  
  
"How could he not love his daughter?" Eric asked Jackie. Tiffany was such a sweet girl.  
  
"Because she's not a boy," Jackie replied, "That's how his stupid mind works. I don't mean to be rude, but you can two entertain yourselves for awhile? I'll be back." Jackie left the room  
  
"Do you think her and Hyde are okay?" Eric asked Donna, he was afraid if he worded it the way he really wanted to say it, "Are Jackie's hormones acting up?" that Donna would have punched in the arm, called him sexist, and made him sleep on Jackie's, albeit fancy, sofa.  
  
"Yeah. It's probably having to deal with that loser, Brad, and of course, her pregnancy hormones."  
  
"Hey, Donna! How come you can say that, but if I did, you'd have called me a sexist pig?"  
  
"Because, I'm a woman, I don't mean it in the same context when a man says it."  
  
Eric rolled his eyes. There shouldn't be double standards for anyone.  
  
Next Night 6PM  
  
"Mommy, that's an ugly dress." It was a young girl's version of a ball gown. It was pink with small glittery silver stars in the taffeta.  
  
"It's beautiful, I picked it out." Donna sat on the young girl's bed and silently laughed. Didn't Jackie realize the little girl hated typically girly stuff? Except her Barbie headphones because they were from "Santa".  
  
"It's still ugly." Tiffany pouted  
  
"It's a formal party and when a party is formal you dress up for the occasion. Do you want to wear a tiara?"  
  
"What's a tiara?"  
  
"Jackie, are you serious?"  
  
"Donna, you stay out of it! How many formal parties did you go to when you were a kid?"  
  
"A couple." The Pinciotti's didn't live in a cave you know.  
  
"I didn't know they made lumberjack clothes for BIG little girls?"  
  
Donna threw a pillow at Jackie, which made Tiffany laugh.  
  
"A tiara is a sort-of crown made of diamonds." Or in Tiffany's case some high quality Swarovski crystals.  
  
"That sounds stupid!"  
  
Jackie got the velvet box off the table, "Wait until you see how pretty you'll look."  
  
"I don't want to be pretty."  
  
"Sure you do, sweetie. Now all we have to do is put on your cute shoes and you'll be ready for the party."  
  
"Is Dad picking me up or was he just sending the big long car with the old man driver in it?"  
  
"Yes, at seven." Jackie brought Tiffany over to the mirror so she could look at her dressed up self.  
  
"I don't like the crown." She took the tiara off and threw it on the bed. Donna admired the child's independence.  
  
"Okay, you don't have to wear it tonight, then. How about a little make up?"  
  
"No! Donna, do I have to wear make up?"  
  
"Jackie, let her look like a child. She looks pretty."  
  
"Oh, all right, Let's show Eric how pretty you look." She kissed her daughter on the head.  
  
Although, Jackie was happy Steven was back working in the music business, she still thought he could've adjusted his hours at least for Donna and Eric's visit. He barely had any interaction with Donna or Eric. She asked him if it was because of Eric being there and he replied, "No, it's not Forman, it's my job." Jackie had to take him on his word.  
  
"You look very nice, Tiffany." Eric said, at times he wished she were his child.  
  
"Thank you, Eric. Mommy, may I wait for Dad downstairs?"  
  
"Okay, I'll take you down, but I want you to stay in the lobby, DO NOT go outside, and I'll tell James your Father (ick) is coming to pick you up."  
  
"Bye Eric, bye Donna!"  
  
"Bye." They replied in unison.  
  
Rather than have a few self-pity moments on why they were childless Eric suggested that they wrestle on the floor to change the subject and to make Donna smile.  
  
"You're asking for it, Eric."  
  
"I know-Are you chicken?"  
  
Donna laughed, "Are you serious? I can throw your body from New York to Tokyo without getting off this sofa."  
  
"Donna, I'm about to introduce you to an old friend, the tickle monster."  
  
When Jackie got back upstairs she was treated to the sight of Eric and Donna laughing and twisting around each other on her floor.  
  
"AHEM! I'm back! -do you two ever come up for air? It's rather sickening." Jackie joked, it was good to see that after all these years they still were in love with each other despite the obstacles themselves and fate put in their way. Much like her and Steven.  
  
"Sorry," they replied in a we're-not-really-sorry-way  
  
"The next time, I'll put the hose on you."  
  
"Ooh, Jackie, we're really scared." Eric and Donna said in unison together. Laughing.  
  
The Dance 7:22PM  
  
Eric somehow wound up being the one to go around to the market on the corner and pick up the box of pastries that Jackie ordered but she didn't feel like waiting for the delivery boy to bring them. Hyde came through the back entrance that led to their kitchen fifteen minutes earlier. They shared a "hello". Eric supposed that it had to go slow. They couldn't just pick off where they left off as friends the way him and Donna were able to resume being a couple. That was different. You think it would have been the other way round but Eric realized why. It all stemmed from That Day. He took the stairs because he figured he could get to the store faster if he didn't wait for the elevator. He was almost at the bottom when he saw something that broke his heart. He had two choices and he knew he was not the one to go down there and make it better. Eric quietly turned around and walked back upstairs where he bumped into Hyde who also thought taking the stairs would be quicker.  
  
"Hyde, I was just going back upstairs to see you."  
  
"What for?"  
  
"There's someone in the lobby who wants to see you." Eric continued to walk up the stairs.  
  
Hyde wondered what Forman's problem was and who could possibly want to see him, as this was a security controlled building. Then he saw her standing there like a little soldier.  
  
"Hello, Tiffany."  
  
She turned around, "Hi, Steven-My Dad's not here." She sadly replied  
  
"We could call him," 'Better yet, I could strangle him', "Here." He reached in his jean jacket pocket to take out his cell phone. He handed it to her to dial. She had his number and her home number memorized.  
  
"Hello? Dad---um---" She had a confused look on her face that Steven gently took the phone from her to hear what was on the other end. He heard a woman moan Brad's name and he said in the background, "Hang it up, it can't be anyone important."  
  
"Steven, who was that?"  
  
"Wrong number, cell phones do that sometimes. Let's not worry about your Dad, okay? I'm sure he's fine. Tiffany, you look very pretty, why don't we go out somewhere just you and me?"  
  
"I don't wanna."  
  
"Come on, I know where we can go," Hyde took off his jacket and wrapped it around her, "I promise it'll only be for a minute." He held her little hand.  
  
"Okay."  
  
Hyde didn't know who was the worse Father the alcoholic abandoning Bud Hyde or the upper crust, snobby, neglectful Brad Worthington? He certainly knew what it was like to feel let down by people who were supposed to love you. They went in the elevator and Hyde pushed the button marked UL-Upper Level.  
  
"Why are we on the roof?" The only time Tiffany was up here was when herself and Jackie looked at the skyline on nice days.  
  
"I'm sorry there's no music, but would you still like to dance?"  
  
"Okay. Will you show me?" She didn't have experience with slow dancing. Tiffany was in tap class because she hated ballet.  
  
"Sure." Just like Mrs. Forman showed him, granted he was older, but it was still someone teaching him how to dance.  
  
He wanted to show Tiffany how much he loved her. It wasn't about how much he could spend on her. He didn't want her love based on his buying of material possessions for her. It was easy to open up to her; he didn't have to have his wall with this child. He could just dance with her on the rooftop on this cold but thankfully not snowy December night. The stars were against the darkest blue night sky he had ever seen. When she smiled like her Mother it made it all worth it to him. He thought of his unborn baby and how he was going to be a Father to an infant. Steven Hyde never thought he'd be the type of man who would help with the diapers and the midnight feedings. His parents thought he'd never amount to anything and he'd have almost believed it, if it weren't for the Forman family. He truly thought of Kitty and Red Forman as his parents. That Edna and Bud Hyde did not exist. He didn't consider Laurie a sister she was always the type that wanted to get away from her family. However, he did consider Eric a brother. That's what hurt the most. Even after overhearing Eric bare his soul to Donna about That Day it was still difficult. Yet, he was thankful, Eric had the opportunity to "save the day" like Luke Skywalker out of Star Wars and he could've been extremely selfish and supported Tiffany. But he was coming back upstairs to get him so he could be the one to do it. Eric knew how important this would be for both Hyde and Tiffany. Because even if the papers weren't signed yet, he was still Tiffany's Father. Brad Worthington did not exist. He was able to be a real Father to her not just the cool guy who taught her Zen or the guy to watch cartoons with. He was here for moments like this when you know it counts. She was the most beautiful little girl and he never wanted to see her cry, especially over her biological Father, he wanted to go over there and knock some sense into the jerk but he couldn't do that. He didn't want Tiffany to think he was some sort of violent psychopath that just goes around beating up people. Unlike Bud, Hyde was certain Brad would be around for certain events and occasions and that was fine he supposed, even when the papers were signed, it would still have to be okay. But the moment he makes her cry, it would be all over for Brad Worthington. He got a free pass for that crap he pulled with Jackie and standing up his own daughter tonight just so he could have meaningless sex with a meaningless wh****. It would not happen again.  
  
"Are you having fun, Tiffany?" Hyde asked  
  
"Yeah. Mommy wanted me to wear a tee-tee-"  
  
"A what?"  
  
"A crown."  
  
"Oh-are you trying to say tiara?"  
  
"Yeah! Tee-ara."  
  
Hyde laughed, "Your Mommy is something else."  
  
"You love her?" She made it a question  
  
"Of course, I love both my girls." He kissed her on the forehead.  
  
Only Jackie Hyde would think to buy a tiara for their young daughter. Hyde bet Donna found it "stupid". He loved Jackie's zaniness; he wouldn't change her for the world. Tiffany yawned and Hyde picked her up. He didn't want this moment to end. It was nice to not be known as the "gruff one", "unreliable one", or "the one who looks like he should be in prison" because even though he wasn't a teenager anymore there were some people out there who actually thought he was a dreg of society. There were a lot of snobs in this apartment building and he liked it when Jackie would lose her cool and defend him. But better to be known as a guy that they assumed would someday be escorted out of his apartment in handcuffs then to have the "goody-goody" or "upstanding citizen" label that Forman had. Everyone had their good and bad sides. Why everyone wanted to compartmentalize you as one thing left him speechless. Can't people walk and chew gum at the same time without giving themselves nosebleeds? Steven Hyde could not stand the judgmental hypocrites that seemed to rule the world.  
  
"When we get downstairs, I'll tuck you in your bed and read you a story. Would you like that, Tiffany?"  
  
She opened up her eyes and smiled, "Yeah. I love you, Daddy." 


	5. Glory Days

Chapter 5 Glory Days  
  
Jackie didn't mind that Donna and Eric went out for the evening without her, she was tired and wanted to sleep. She was also upset with Brad. How could he be such an ass to his own daughter?  
  
"S-steven, is that you?" She turned her head around and saw him carrying Tiffany.  
  
"Your ex should be shot for standing up his own daughter," He looked around the room, "Where are Forman and Donna?"  
  
"The went out because I was tired and wanted to take a nap."  
  
"Jackie, are you all right?"  
  
"Yes, Steven, tiredness is nothing to be concerned about. You'd be tired too if you had another person growing inside of you."  
  
He sensed her moodiness it came with the territory he supposed.  
  
"I'll be back, I promised that I'd tuck Tiffany in bed."  
  
She smiled, "I'm sorry for snapping," she kissed Tiffany and him on the cheek, "I'll make it up to you later."  
  
"Tiffany called me 'Daddy'." Hyde said  
  
Jackie had to resist the urge to happily scream which wouldn't have just woken up her daughter but the whole building.  
  
"Awww-That's so sweet!" Jackie replied as she watched Steven take Tiffany to her room. She wanted that so badly for him.  
  
She wished there was a way to help Donna and Eric as she went to the kitchen for another pastry.  
  
12:20AM  
  
Eric didn't want to wake Donna so he went in the living room to watch TV. He and Donna went to the movies she wanted to see Erin Brockovich; it wasn't his kind of movie although Julia Roberts looked hot in those tight outfits. He often wondered how come he had to see movies that he didn't like but when Donna didn't want to see a movie that he wanted to see he either had to go by himself or with friends from work? The trailer for Dude, Where's My Car? looked hilarious that one guy was familiar and reminded the both of them of Kelso. Eric had the TV on mute and flipped through the stations how come there was never anything on during the late night?  
  
Hyde stood in the doorway and took a deep breath he needed to acknowledge the fact.  
  
"Thanks, Forman." Hyde turned around to get the pudding that Jackie woke him up out of a sound sleep to get.  
  
"W-what?" Eric turned around; he almost fell asleep on the sofa. Was Hyde talking to him?  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Eric knew exactly what this was about and he also knew they weren't going to go into verbal detail over it, either. There were many times when Eric tried to get Hyde to open up about his parents and that never worked. He followed Hyde into the kitchen.  
  
"How is Tiffany?" He asked  
  
"Fine." Hyde grabbed the pudding-ah better make it two incase she's really hungry, out of the refrigerator.  
  
"That's good. Brad's a dill hole to do stand his own daughter up."  
  
Forman wanted to talk. Hyde did not want to discuss these things with him. He knew he cared about Tiffany and that was fine by him, but he didn't want  
  
to talk, it was just too soon in his opinion. He acknowledged the nice gesture Forman made earlier, but he didn't want to talk about anything. It was as simple as that.  
  
"I know. Goodnight." He replied and walked away, leaving Eric to ponder their role in the universe.  
  
"The force is what gives a Jedi his power"* (to live another day) [movie quote not character quote]  
  
9:25AM  
  
Jackie couldn't believe the gall of her ex-husband. Here he was on the other end of the phone wanting to see Tiffany today to take her shopping. She was happy that Steven was helping Tiffany get dressed and Donna and Eric were in another room as well.  
  
"Why? So you could stand her up like you did last night?" The only good thing that came of it was that she called Steven "Daddy".  
  
"I was stuck in a business meeting and I couldn't make it."  
  
"Brad, if I didn't know you were lying I'd simply ask did you ever hear of a telephone? But I know you're lying because Tiffany overheard your s*** of a girlfriend pleasing you."  
  
"I didn't know that was her phoning, Jackie. By the way, I heard you're pregnant with that scuzzball Steven's baby. You will sleep with anyone, won't you?"  
  
"I know. I slept with you."  
  
"You are so touchy for a supposedly happy married woman. Listen, I'm coming by in a half hour to pick up, Tiffany. So have her all dressed."  
  
"I'm not telling her. You're not hurting her again, got it?"  
  
"You have become a very bitter woman, Jackie. What happened to the party girl I used to have hot sex with?"  
  
"Shut up. Better yet, I'm hanging up."  
  
"Are you okay?" Hyde came in and kissed her on the lips.  
  
"Steven, Brad called, he wants to take Tiffany shopping today, and although I don't want him to, he does have the right. But I hate that son of a bitch. Don't say anything to her just in case he stands her up again. By the way where is she?"  
  
"On the internet with Forman."  
  
Hyde had an idea it was going to require pride swallowing on two counts, but he was doing it for his little girl. Tiffany was not going to get hurt again.  
  
"Where are you going, Steven? Your coffee is almost ready."  
  
"I'll be back," Hyde hoped he was doing the right thing, "There's something I have to ask someone."  
  
"I hope you aren't mad, Donna," Eric kept his University of Wisconsin sweatshirt on and changed into his jeans. "I know we had plans today."  
  
"No, Eric, I think it's a cool idea that Hyde asked you to join him and Tiffany."  
  
"I know he just asked me to go for Tiffany's sake." He replied, wishing it were different.  
  
"Well, just be happy that he asked you, but I know you are going to worry about it anyway."  
  
He kissed her; it was his favorite, no second favorite thing to do.  
  
The plan as Hyde explained it rather abruptly to Eric in the hallway was that they would wait at the newsstand with Tiffany and if Brad didn't show up they would just take her out for the day and she'd be none of the wiser of her real Father's idea to take her out shopping.  
  
"Come on, Forman, how long does it take you to pick out a magazine?"  
  
Tiffany laughed but Eric didn't know if Hyde was just playing the part or was he really pissed that it was taking him forever to pick out a magazine?  
  
"Star Wars magazine number thirty." Han Solo Talks-Harrison Ford on Star Wars and Indiana Jones.  
  
"You mean you don't subscribe?"  
  
Tiffany didn't know whether to stay or run when she saw Brad dressed in a long black wool coat, which made Eric feel corporate because he had a similar coat like that at home, it was only because of his offices stupid dress code. Brad purposely wanted to upstage Hyde so he made sure to put on his best Brooks Brothers suit and the tie Jackie got him when they started dating, he was going to throw it in his face later on.  
  
"Hi, Tiffany." Brad hugged her in the phony Hollywood air kiss way. He gave her a lollipop bouquet.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"I thought I'd take you shopping today. I'm sorry I couldn't make it last night, I had a business meeting."  
  
'You're a f***ing liar' Both Hyde and Eric thought.  
  
She held Hyde's hand. "Can Eric and DADDY come?"  
  
Hyde smiled it served the s.o.b right. Eric was happy that Tiffany finally started calling Hyde "Daddy", but it didn't seem right to learn the news at the same time as Brad.  
  
"Sure, whatever you want, princess," He gave them, especially Hyde, a very dirty look, "Can you be a good girl and give this to the doorman?" He took an envelope out of his coat pocket.  
  
"Okay!"  
  
"I hope that cut right through you." Hyde said.  
  
"And that's supposed to hurt me? I suppose having you two stooges come along was all Jackie's idea?"  
  
"No. For your information it was my idea."  
  
"You thought of that all by yourself? Wow."  
  
"That's enough." . This guy was beyond rude, Eric couldn't take it anymore.  
  
Brad looked at Eric noticing his sweatshirt, "Oh, you went to the University of Wisconsin-"  
  
"Do you have a problem with that?"  
  
"It's a good school for people who can't get into real Universities."  
  
"F*** you." Eric replied, wishing he clubbed him over the head.  
  
"Temper, temper."  
  
Tiffany came back, "James said thank you. Did you bring the big car?"  
  
"Yeah. I told the driver to park up the street. I hope you two don't mind the walk?"  
  
"He's unbearable." Eric whispered  
  
"I know." Hyde replied.  
  
He wondered what did Jackie ever see in him?  
  
Eric concentrated on his Star Wars magazine as Hyde helped himself to the brandy that was in the back. That was going to play right in Brad's hands because he didn't offer them a drink. Not that Eric could. Sometimes he hated being sober regarding liquor. What was wrong with having a drink every now and again? It was totally different from shoving Coke up his nose.  
  
"You see those giant buildings over there?" Brad asked Tiffany  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"I'm moving my offices there next year."  
  
"Which one?"  
  
"The one with the antenna on top."  
  
Was he doing this to show off or was he just talking to Tiffany? Hyde wondered.  
  
"That's cool."  
  
"I have something for you." Brad said to Tiffany as Hyde watched him like an animal in the wild watches their young.  
  
He handed her a red and green patterned envelope.  
  
Tiffany opened it and was hardly surprised when the four hundred dollar bills fell on her lap. Eric's first thought was 'Red never would give us four hundred dollars ever' and Hyde knew this jerk was showing off now. He was going to throw away the money, well if Brad liked to spend money, then he was going to spend money.  
  
"Thanks, Dad."  
  
"You spend it however you like, it's a bonus."  
  
"Here's one for you, Eric, and one for you Daddy."  
  
"Thank you, Tiffany." Eric said, he'd give her the money back later but he knew keeping it now would make Brad angry and that was half the fun.  
  
"Thank you, sweetie." Hyde replied. He'd put it in one of the Salvation Army kettles later.  
  
"That leaves you with two hundred." Brad said  
  
"No. One is for Mommy and the other one is for Donna."  
  
"Who is Donna?" Brad asked  
  
"My wife." Eric sharply replied  
  
"Are we almost at the store yet?" Tiffany asked, and Hyde was glad she was getting cranky.  
  
"Yes, we get to use the private entrance, we'll have an exclusive showing on the floor that's for important people such as myself."  
  
Brad wished the two losers would stay in the car but he didn't feel like dealing with Jackie's bitchy rantings. The posh ness did not impress Hyde nor Eric; it was one of those situations where they were the better ones because they did not let money dictate their lives. When Brad was talking to a nobody in a double-breasted suit in the private parking area Hyde spoke.  
  
"Are you okay, Tiffany?"  
  
"Yeah, Dad's like that."  
  
"You know it's not good to be mean, right? But while we're on this shopping trip I give you permission to waste all your Dad's money."  
  
"How about a tantrum?" Eric offered  
  
"Not bad, Forman. Do you know how to misbehave?" Because all the time Hyde's known Tiffany, apart from some normal whining she was really a great kid, who might have had money but would rather play in the dirt and drive her Mom crazy.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
They all exited the limousine; Eric had a bad feeling about this.  
  
At that moment Hyde was almost grateful for the crappy existence he had with his parents it certainly was a 'better' situation to deal with but Tiffany had the confusion of a Father who stood her up because sex with a tramp was more important but the next day tried to impress her with his riches. She didn't want money or overpriced gifts she wanted that jerk to love her. He'd have felt awful if it weren't for the fact she started calling him, "Daddy". Hyde knew it wouldn't take long for Brad to lose interest in his own kid and was flirting with the young blonde behind the counter who was lining the counter with the very best of their children's line of fine jewelry. Tiffany ran to Hyde and Eric.  
  
"Daddy, I don't want a bracelet."  
  
Hyde kissed her on the forehead, "Then tell him."  
  
"I have a feeling she's not going to fake a tantrum." Eric sighed; he left his magazine in the limousine.  
  
"Forman-I think you're right."  
  
Tiffany stomped right up to her biological Father,  
  
"I don't want a bracelet!"  
  
"Don't you'd think she'd rather look at toys, Bradley?" Kids were best when they were quiet.  
  
An older saleslady came out from the back room she knew Jackie and Tiffany way back when Tiffany was just a baby. She couldn't stand Brad and was happy when they got a divorce.  
  
"Hello, Tiffany, what brings you here?"  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Sanderson-I don't want a bracelet."  
  
"Oh, I see. Do you want to look at some toys?"  
  
"Boys toys." Tiffany wanted to hang out with Steven and Eric.  
  
"Boys toys? Don't you want a nice doll?" The younger saleswoman that liked Brad only because of his money asked her  
  
"No!"  
  
"Okay, sweetie, we'll send up some boys toys for you to look at. Suzy, why don't you get her some cookies and milk?"  
  
"Sure, Mrs. Sanderson." She was a saleswoman not a maid. It was okay if Tiffany didn't want a bracelet, but she would gladly take one if her Father was buying.  
  
Tiffany rode a bicycle around the exclusive floor for the "important people". Brad was still chatting up this Suzy in the tight black skirt as Tiffany added to his bill.  
  
"I think she spent eight hundred in here so far." Eric said, hoping Tiffany would add the life sized Darth Vader statue to the order, Donna would be so happily annoyed by it.  
  
"But she doesn't have a concept of money, Forman." Hyde replied.  
  
"Princess," Hyde hated how Brad would condescendingly call Tiffany 'Princess' it really irked him, "Do you want the bike?"  
  
She put on the brakes nearly crashing into a display area.  
  
"Yeah," She got off the bike and let it fall to the floor, "I want green slime."  
  
Hyde smiled on the inside.  
  
"What kind of toy is that?"  
  
"They pour it over people's heads on Nickelodeon."  
  
"Okay," What the hell? He didn't have to clean it up, "Get as many as you want."  
  
"I also want to buy presents for DADDY, MOMMY, ERIC, AND DONNA."  
  
Brad looked at Hyde and Eric with a phony smile, "Sure, buy whatever you want."  
  
Tiffany was smart and took Suzy by the hand to drag her to the presents that she wanted to buy so she couldn't play with her Dad.  
  
"Enjoy this," Brad stood face to face with Hyde and whispered, "Because it's not happening again."  
  
"How do you feel to have lost your wife and daughter to me?"  
  
"Much like this tie Jackie purchased for me it can easily be replaced."  
  
"You son of a----"  
  
Eric got between them, "Hyde, you don't want to do this. He wants you to hit him. Don't."  
  
Brad pushed Eric out of the way, "Listen to your loser friend, Hyde."  
  
"Insult me and my friend all you want, but if you dare hurt Tiffany again like you did last night, you are dead."  
  
"Hmm, death threats," Brad snapped his fingers, "How original. How do you know you are not being taped?" He walked away.  
  
"He's just trying to wind you up, ignore him." Eric said just realizing that Hyde referred to him as 'Friend'.  
  
Revenge of the Slime  
  
"Daddy, can we all go out for pizza after?" Tiffany asked referring to herself, Hyde, and Eric  
  
"Sure, if that's what you want." Hyde kissed her on the cheek, she was good, she only grabbed a few more items before wanting to leave the store.  
  
"Can you give me a clue as to what my present is?" Eric asked  
  
"How old are you, Forman?" Hyde replied. Truth was he was glad Eric was his goofy self.  
  
"No, it's a surprise."  
  
The chauffer had to open Brad's door just so he could throw his coat in and tell Tiffany he would be back in a few minutes.  
  
Eric looked at Hyde-he wasn't going to have a quickie with that Suzy person was he?  
  
Tiffany sighed and reached into one of the smaller gift bags and proceeded to take out and open one of her cans of slime.  
  
"Tiffany, as your Daddy I have to tell you, it's wrong to do what I know you are about to do. However, I have no problem doing it for you. Give Forman a can, too."  
  
"Don't tell Mommy." Tiffany said  
  
"OR Donna." Eric replied  
  
"Oh, don't worry about that, sweetie."  
  
"Aww. Thanks, Hyde."  
  
"I was referring to Tiffany not you dill hole." Tiffany laughed as she watched her new Daddy and Eric put the gooey green slime concoction in all the pockets of Brad's expensive coat, the chauffer slightly smiled.  
  
"How are we going to get this off our hands?" Eric asked  
  
Tiffany lifted the space by the mini bar that contained the towels.  
  
"Thanks." Hyde and Eric both said  
  
Eric went back to his Star Wars magazine as he watched Hyde bond with Tiffany. It was nice to see that Hyde was indeed a great Father just as he knew he'd be. Brad's loss was Hyde's gain. Brad had the money and the quote unquote "power" but Hyde had real love deep in his soul for Jackie and Tiffany. He smiled softly as he saw the chauffer having to leave the warm car just to open the door for Brad to get in unaware that he was slimed by the best team ever. 


	6. Winter Wonderland

Chapter 6 Winter Wonderland  
  
December 24, 2000 St Louis, MO  
  
It was snowing quite heavy in Missouri as Donna turned off the TV as the local weatherman in a bad toupee told everyone to stay indoors and don't go anywhere unless it was an extreme emergency because they were going to get another eight to ten inches before Christmas day. She watched Eric throw the tinsel on the tree; he could be so cute at times.  
  
"Were your parents disappointed that we cannot visit because of the weather?" Donna asked, already knowing the answer  
  
"Mom? Yes. Dad? I think he enjoys being left alone. How does it look, Donna?"  
  
Eric stood back to admire his tinsel throwing work.  
  
"It looks nice." They put most of the ornaments on the day before.  
  
There were their University of Wisconsin ornaments that they both surprised each other with, Eric's Star Wars ones, the vintage ones that belonged to her Grandmother, the big "D" that Eric found in a gift shop when they went on one of their vacations, golden bows from Kitty, and all whole bunch of eclectic ornaments that they gave as gifts to each other or were from other people. It made the tree look funky with all of the different looks on it. Donna preferred that to a more uniform tree.  
  
Eric put his arm around her, "One thing is missing though."  
  
"What's that? I think the tree looks nice."  
  
"No, not the tree. The spray snow for the windows." Eric smiled  
  
"Do you mind if I turn the phone off?" Donna asked  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"I want this to be our Christmas Eve." She kissed him lightly on the lips.  
  
"Then it shall be, my lady." He replied with dreamy eyes, the spray snow could wait.  
  
"Eric," Donna kissed him debating on the words she wanted to say, "to the bedroom."  
  
She wanted to tell him more but she didn't want to spoil the moment. Their lovemaking always made her feel special.  
  
PA  
  
Jackie and Tiffany were surprised early this morning by Santa Hyde who rented a minivan to take them to their country cottage in Pennsylvania for Christmas. He also hired an interior decorator to fix the place up proper as it was rather sparse the day Jackie arrived here to surprise him in what felt like ages ago.  
  
"Are we there yet? I have to go." Tiffany said  
  
"Almost," Jackie remembered, "And your Mother has to go, too." She replied finishing a candy bar  
  
Hyde laughed, "I told you both to go before we left the apartment."  
  
"We didn't have to go then." They both replied  
  
"Jackie?"  
  
"Something on your mind, Steven?" She tried to refold the map to how it looked before she unfolded it, but the map was winning.  
  
"I just wanted to say you look beautiful today."  
  
God help him he despised all things corporate but she looked stunning in her overpriced white cashmere sweater.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Hyde looked in the review mirror, "and so do you, Tiffany."  
  
"You look nice, too, Daddy."  
  
It melted his heart every time she called him that.  
  
Jackie turned on the radio, "I suppose you'll be too cool to sing with us, Steven. 'You know, Dasher and Dancer'---"  
  
"and Prancer and Vixen." Hyde stuck out his tongue that was the spoken part.  
  
"Does Santa know where I'm sleeping tonight?" Tiffany asked  
  
"Of course, I left a note for him before we left." Hyde replied with a straight face.  
  
Jackie put her hand on his knee as they drove to their cottage.  
  
MO  
  
"Donna, I was thinking," Eric grabbed his old Packers t-shirt off the floor, "Why don't we open up our special gifts tonight like we used to do when we were in school?"  
  
Her eyes lit up she was silently dreading this holiday but absolutely loved Eric's idea.  
  
"Come here," She pulled him back on the bed, "I love that idea, Eric."  
  
"I wish you were like this when you were seventeen." Most couples had waning sex lives the longer they were together, but they seemed to be doing it more as they got older.  
  
"I'm sure," She forced herself to stop kissing him, "Get the spray snow, let's do all the windows."  
  
"Now?"  
  
"Yeah, Eric, come on it'll be fun." Donna jumped out of bed, straightening her blouse.  
  
"Not as fun as having sex." He playfully whined under his breath.  
  
"I heard that."  
  
Eric put his head back on the pillows and remembered a Christmas past.  
  
~Eric's flashback~ 1971  
  
Eric ran up to his room and quietly locked the door. Hyde and Kelso finally went home and Laurie had to have something at Halverson's and of course Red wouldn't say no to his "little girl" and although Kitty didn't like leaving eleven year old Eric home by himself she went to the store too to get handkerchiefs for Aunt Pearl. He took the box out from under his bed. It was a cheaply made gold plated turn your skin green chain with a heart charm. He tore a sheet from the happy snowmen wrapping paper that Kitty bought and wrapped the box. He ripped a piece of paper to tape to the box and wrote in black marker To: Donna He looked out the window to make sure his family was gone before unlocking the door so he could run to the Pinciotti's house to drop his gift for Donna in the mailbox. It cost ten dollars, which was all he had from his Candy Land box. ~End flashback~  
  
PA  
  
Hyde picked up Tiffany so she could put the star on top of the tree. Jackie almost cried, she hated pregnancy she was always hungry and emotional. It was beautiful to see Steven and Tiffany together. It made her think of a Christmas that wasn't so beautiful.  
  
~Jackie's flashback~  
  
She sat alone at the set dining room table. She hated when he did this. Yet she was convinced that she could make him settle down. The candles were burning in their Lenox lead crystal holders. If she had actually cooked this meal she would be even more upset. How could he not be home on Christmas Eve? She went to the place that made her happy, the nursery. When her daughter smiled at her, it made her feel wonderful.  
  
"Hi, baby," Jackie picked her up, "It's your first Christmas. I'm sorry your Father's not here."  
  
Brad said on the phone yesterday he would be coming home from Switzerland today. She knew he slept around and although she made a promise to herself long ago that she would never put up with a cheater ever again, here she was in a loveless marriage with a six month old daughter to raise. She supposed that was the difference. She had to think of Tiffany. If it was just herself she'd leave him but the girl needed a Father. Not that he ever held her much, not that even so much looked at her or mentioned her by name. His presents arrived this morning the blue boxes from Tiffany's, the black boxes from Chanel, and the orange boxes from Hermes. It was then that Jackie wished that she were poor.  
  
The phone rang and Jackie put Tiffany back in her crib before she went to answer it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's me."  
  
"Are you calling from the airport, Brad?" She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.  
  
"No, I won't be able to come home until the twenty seventh." He said from his five star hotel bedroom in Zurich, as he watched the tart in the room strip for him.  
  
Jackie wanted to cry, "Merry Christmas to you too, Brad." She hung up. Livid that he did not ask about his baby daughter.  
  
~End flashback~  
  
MO  
  
Eric tried to write 'Eric heart Donna' with the spray snow but it was coming out too thick.  
  
"Hey, Donna do you remember when we were eleven and I bought you that necklace?"  
  
Donna couldn't help but to laugh as she put the greeting cards around the door like a paper arch.  
  
"Yeah, it turned my neck green."  
  
"Sorry about that but it seemed like a deal at the time."  
  
"You were always so sweet to me, Eric, except for when you were letting Hyde and Kelso influence you. I just feel bad," Donna got the grocery store eggnog out of the refrigerator and two glasses.  
  
"What do you feel bad about?"  
  
"Wanting Hyde---"  
  
"Donna, we don't have to rehash this on Christmas Eve."  
  
"Eric, I said some terrible things about you not only to your face but behind your back. I just can't believe I wanted Hyde in that way."  
  
"It's okay," Eric put his glass down on the table, "Look we're together now. We're happy now."  
  
She kissed him, "I know, but we got the short end of the stick."  
  
'Oh no, not the baby thing'. "Donna, let's adopt a baby. Let's stop talking about it and just do it. I know I can get people to vouch for me being sober. After the holidays let's get it started." He waited on baited breath.  
  
"But something doesn't seem right about adopting." Donna wanted to spike her eggnog with rum but wouldn't do that in front of Eric.  
  
She wanted a child desperately, but something was pulling at her to not go through with it as if another child was on the horizon waiting for them.  
  
PA  
  
"But if I leave cookies for Santa here how will he know to go to New York?" Tiffany asked taking a cookie for herself.  
  
"Because Santa will go to New York to read the note I left him and then he will fly here and leave all your presents." Hyde didn't bat an eyelash, his stomach feeling warm from the brandy.  
  
"Okay. Does Santa like regular or chocolate milk?"  
  
"Both. But I think there's only regular in the fridge." Jackie added  
  
"I'll get it." Tiffany ran off  
  
"What's that?" Hyde asked Jackie as she quickly dropped a present in Tiffany's stocking. It was so small that you couldn't tell there was something put in it.  
  
"Oh, it's from HIM."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"What it is every year, a small ornament."  
  
Jackie knew that spree with Brad was just Brad showing off and a sad attempt to make up for standing up his daughter the night before for their dinner dance date. This ornament was something he did every year but Jackie had a feeling the secretary's purchased them because they were just too thought out to have actually come from him, he just paid the bill.  
  
"Mommy, I got the milk." Jackie had news for Steven she was going to drink the milk and eat the cookies.  
  
"I'll pour it, sweetie. Then we're going to tuck you in and read you a bedtime story-then you have to go to sleep so Santa can come."  
  
"What if I have to go to the bathroom?"  
  
"The bathroom is not even near the Christmas tree." Jackie laughed  
  
"Daddy, what is Santa going to bring you?"  
  
"He's already given me my gift." Steven smiled. Happy to have this wonderful family.  
  
MO  
  
Donna and Eric sat on their sofa with only the lights on from the Christmas tree and scented holiday candles. She looked at the professional wrapping paper and the engraved pen that adorned it. Eric's come a long way from fake gold tone jewelry that turned her green.  
  
"This is so pretty, I don't want to open it."  
  
"Well, Donna, if I knew that, I just would have purchased the roll of wrapping paper." Eric replied  
  
"Okay, Eric," Donna opened up her present, "Oh, Eric! I love it, it's awesome."  
  
Eric printed out a copy of Donna's biography for the UofW's who's who journalism directory and had a hard cover of it made, he even wrote a ten- page introduction for her biography.  
  
She hugged and kissed him, "You wrote an introduction?"  
  
"Yes, that's what I was doing on the computer when you thought I was wasting time on my Star Wars forums-and it wasn't easy to get all the words out from my brain to the blank page but I meant every word." Eric replied  
  
"I love it," Donna handed him his box, "Now it's time to open yours."  
  
"Oh my the wrapping paper is too pretty, maybe I shouldn't open it until Easter!"  
  
Donna playfully punched Eric in the arm, "Very cute, Eric."  
  
Eric opened his present; it was an authentic pocket watch from 1876.  
  
"This is cool, thank you, Donna," He kissed her, "Oh, I notice you had it engraved."  
  
"Actually the EF stands for Ebenezer Fitzgerald, you're not the only one who buys off Ebay, but when I saw it I thought of you. Now when you think of taking days 'one at a time' you can refer to this."  
  
"It means a lot to me, thank you." He admitted candidly.  
  
PA  
  
"She's crafty." Jackie put her head on Hyde's shoulder as they snuggled by the fireplace after they finished playing Santa.  
  
"Is Tiffany asleep now?"  
  
"Yeah, that last peek tired her out."  
  
"Jackie, did you take more cookies?"  
  
"Steven, I'm hungry. I can't help it. I wonder how Donna and Eric are? I tried calling but all I got was their voice mail."  
  
"I'm sure they're fine." He nibbled on her neck.  
  
"Steven, can we talk?"  
  
He sighed, "Sure. What do you want to talk about?"  
  
"I have something to ask you, I know you are going to say 'no', so I don't want your answer right now, but I just want you to think about it."  
  
"Just tell me Jackie."  
  
Jackie told Hyde the first part of her news that made him extremely happy he kissed and embraced her tight.  
  
"Now here's the part where you are---"  
  
"Oh, I get it now. You are right I am going to say 'no' and I won't change my mind later, I won't."  
  
"I knew you'd have this reaction. Is it because you think Eric might relapse in the future-you've seen him, you two are friends again---"  
  
"It's not about Forman."  
  
"Is it about Donna?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Steven, we have the opportunity to make them happy. I'm not going to cry or storm out of the room, I just want you to think about it, honey." She went back to the cuddling position hoping he'd change his mind. She could always go to her back up plan and call Mrs. Forman.  
  
MO  
  
It was almost midnight when Donna and Eric went downstairs in their sleeping clothes and coats to look at the falling snow from the glass windows of the front entrance.  
  
"This reminds me of the end of the Empire Strikes Back."  
  
"I'm going to regret asking this, I know. Why?"  
  
"Instead of looking out into space, we're looking out into snow, unaware of the future."  
  
She held his hand.  
  
"Do you want to know what the future holds?" Donna asked him  
  
"No. I'd rather just concentrate on now." He took his pocket watch out of his coat pocket; he wanted to carry it around for luck.  
  
"Me too."  
  
What was 2001 going to bring? Donna wasn't getting the thrill out of writing that she used to and Eric bless him was stuck in a boring job, they weren't childless by choice. Jackie's baby was going to be due in May and Donna was really happy for her, still a small bit jealous, but she was happy for her and Hyde. Eric was right in the logical sense about starting the adoption process but she still had that unexplainable pulling feeling regarding it.  
  
"Donna, are you okay? What were you just thinking about?" Eric asked  
  
"Just the New Year. Do you think 2001 will be good?"  
  
"It'll probably be like any other year." He replied.  
  
Eric would never forget where he was or what he was doing when he made that remark.  
  
"Are we going to start contacting adoption agencies?" Eric asked  
  
"Yes," Donna said in the moment as the church bells rang for Midnight Mass, "Merry Christmas, Eric."  
  
She pulled her close to him and kissed him passionately.  
  
"Merry Christmas, Donna," Eric pulled out another gift out of his pocket, "For you."  
  
It was one of those clear plastic candy canes filled with chocolate kisses.  
  
"Thank you." Donna looked at the snowfall one last time before they went back up to their apartment and the flakes did look like the stars. She wished upon a snowflake that 2001 would be their best year. 


	7. Decisions

Chapter 7 Decisions  
  
January 2001 St Louis, MO  
  
Donna was under a verbal agreement and had to finish the article she was working on, but her heart wasn't in it. She was none too happy to get up and answer the door. It was Hyde.  
  
"Hello, Hyde. Jackie didn't tell me you were coming to St. Louis." She invited him in.  
  
"She doesn't know I'm here, she thinks I'm a few towns over producing a record."  
  
"So, why are you here?" Donna sat on the sofa.  
  
"Did Jackie tell you anything new about her pregnancy?"  
  
"What is this about, Hyde?" Donna offered him a drink, but he declined  
  
"So, you don't know. Jackie told me on Christmas Eve she is pregnant with twins and wanted to give you and Forman one of the twins."  
  
Donna was shocked and was almost speechless  
  
"She meant well and it's one of the reasons why love her, but to be quite honest here, Donna, I don't want to give up one of my babies just because you and Forman are having trouble in this area. And I also chose to tell you because I have a feeling Forman would get all excited and seriously would take Jackie up on her offer."  
  
"I have to tell Eric," Donna was still stunned by the news, "I can't keep secrets from him, but I agree I don't want your baby. I'm glad you told me, Hyde. That was a very selfless thing for Jackie to even consider."  
  
"That's all I came to say, because I really am producing a record. I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Thanks again for telling me, Hyde."  
  
Now she had to take care of the hard part-Donna took a deep breath as she turned off her computer. Hyde was right; Eric would have taken Jackie up on her offer.  
  
Why?  
  
Eric took off his jacket and undid his tie when he saw Donna come in the front door. The holidays were over and it was him who had to make an appointment to the Golden Cross adoption agency which was cancelled last week when Donna said she wasn't feeling well and it was never rescheduled.  
  
"Eric," Donna breezed in and sat down on the chair usually reserved for clients who don't know what to do with their 401K's, "We need to talk."  
  
"What, no 'hello'? No kiss?"  
  
"This is hard because the old me never would have told you, but I learned not to keep secrets from the one you love, so here goes. Hyde came by earlier and Jackie's having twins and wants us to raise one."  
  
She watched Eric's eyes grow hopeful then downcast when he realized why she was here.  
  
"And you said 'no'."  
  
"Hyde said he didn't want to give up his baby. Yes, Eric, I said 'no'."  
  
"I thought marriage was fifty-fifty and now you're making decisions without me?"  
  
"Eric," Donna stood up, "What decision is there to make when Hyde came by and told me he doesn't want to give his baby up? And also, I don't want to raise Jackie and Hyde's baby!"  
  
"Donna, what difference does it make whose baby it is? It's almost like adoption, which need I remind you, you didn't reschedule our appointment. Did you lie to me on Christmas?"  
  
"No, I didn't lie. Eric, I dreaded telling you this, but keeping it from you would have been worse. And I'll worry if tonight you'll seek out Coke. But, this is not the way to have our baby."  
  
"I'm not going to touch any drugs. We were given a gift. I see that, Jackie obviously sees that. Why can't you and Hyde see that?"  
  
"It was very sweet of Jackie to consider, but do you think she could easily give up her child? I bet you would take Tiffany if she showed up on our doorstep."  
  
"That's not fair. What's more neither you nor Hyde are being fair. F***," Eric remembered he had a meeting in five minutes, "I have to go, Donna. We'll continue this later." Eric grabbed his tie and jacket and went to the men's room as Donna left the building feeling like she just burst her husband's dream.  
  
Donna wanted to suffocate herself with one of the plastic bags from the grocery store. She couldn't believe her husband and his "turnabout is fair play" quote at the dinner table, she had no idea that he would go to Jackie, which of course put a strain on the Hyde-Eric friendship that was starting to come together, as they all sat around their small kitchen table. Eric got Jackie just as she was to fly out the door because she wanted to come to Missouri to surprise her husband as Tiffany the poor child had to spend time with Brad.  
  
"I knew I was right. You would take the baby, Forman. I don't fault Jackie's reason, but you ought to know better."  
  
"Steven,"  
  
"You took Donna."  
  
"Eric, don't."  
  
"It's okay, take the pot shot, Forman."  
  
"You make it seem like, I'm taking your baby as if I were a kidnapper. It's only because Jackie made the offer and I don't see why Donna and me shouldn't be allowed to consider it. Of course, Donna likes to make these life decisions without me, which really pisses me off."  
  
"Eric-" Donna didn't know what to say to him.  
  
"Enough, everybody," Jackie replied calmly, "Every time I have an idea something bad happens. I think we were given a gift-"  
  
"I want that on record that, that's the word I used in my office yesterday." Eric broke in.  
  
"You're so f***ing petty, Forman."  
  
"Steven, may I continue, please? I think we were given a gift and I only wanted to help OUR two friends Donna and Eric because they cannot have children. And we're not going to drudge up anything from the past because none of us can change it. If we are blessed with having twins, why can't we give one to two people who like us would be great parents?"  
  
"That's all fine and nice, Jackie, but I have a Devil's Advocate question for you. You say this now because you are pregnant, but I don't think you could give up one of your babies so easily, but my question here is, what happens if the baby we're given dies in childbirth or gets sick and dies later on? Or vice versa what if it's your baby who dies. Did you even think about that happening, Eric? I know in your mind it's all decorating the nursery and setting up a college fund, but you have to realize, we cannot have take their baby. I'm sorry if you feel like I made a final decision without you, but that's how I feel." Donna said  
  
"You go first, Jackie." Eric replied  
  
Jackie took a drink of her milk before continuing, "I guess, I didn't think about those things."  
  
"You're giving up that easily?" Eric stated  
  
"I never thought of something happened to either baby."  
  
"See, Jackie? Your intentions were pure and you are a great woman who is already a wonderful Mother, but Forman you are so goddamn selfish."  
  
"I knew this would happen," Donna sighed, "Hyde, please. I think we've all said what needs to be said. Jackie, I hope your twins are healthy and happy, and I do appreciate the offer, Hyde, if you use this as an excuse to not be Eric's friend anymore, you are the selfish one, and Eric, I'll talk to you later. But right now my head feels like it's about to explode and all I want to do is go to bed and lie down."  
  
"I'd like to put something on the table that if you even look at cocaine, you better not think of blaming me for it." Hyde said to Eric  
  
"Shut up, Hyde. Goodbye, Jackie, tell Tiffany I said 'hi', but right now, I need to go for a walk." Eric replied, it was just a walk; he could care less if no one believed him.  
  
They had the answer right in their hands, Eric thought. How could they throw this chance away?  
  
**************************************************************************** ****************  
  
Late January  
  
What happened to their new start? This was just like their first marriage only they were older. There was hardly any talking and that great burst of sex they had that was also gone. Eric watched Donna pull away from them and it hurt him. They barely talked. If she left he would wither up and die. It was one o'clock in the morning when he turned on the light.  
  
"E-Eric what the hell?"  
  
"Donna, I don't want this to end our marriage. We haven't been talking to each other or making love for weeks. I don't want this to end us. I love you, Donna."  
  
"Eric, I love you, too, don't you think it has hurt me, also? But this is the first time in weeks that you said you loved me."  
  
"Because you weren't talking to me."  
  
"If Jackie's gift is not an option, you can't get pregnant, and you dance around the topic of adoption just how are we supposed to be parents?" Eric asked frustrated  
  
"I don't know, Eric, but I missed holding you. For one night can we not think about this? I just want to be in your arms."  
  
"And I missed having you in my arms, Donna." He kissed her on the cheek.  
  
NYC  
  
"Mommy, you ate my giggle meal." Tiffany pouted  
  
"I'm sorry, sweetie, I thought you were done." She gave her the rest of her fries back.  
  
Steven came back to the booth with two small chocolate milkshakes and one small diet soda.  
  
"I don't get a milkshake?" Jackie asked  
  
"You don't need a milkshake." Hyde replied  
  
"Steven, I'm pregnant with twins, I can eat what I want."  
  
At least Hyde was concerned for her health but Brad wanted her to be "anorexia chic" when she was pregnant with Tiffany.  
  
"Daddy, I want to play a game." Tiffany said  
  
"We'll be right back." Hyde said, kissing Jackie on the cheek.  
  
'Damn' they both took their milkshakes with them.  
  
Jackie didn't know what to do. She thought she always made a mess of things whenever she had the best intentions. Hyde assumed she changed her mind, but she didn't. It broke her heart that Donna and Eric had some very difficult moments for weeks after their roundtable discussion. She told her on the phone that they weren't speaking let alone having sex. Everything seemed to be all right between them as long as they didn't have the "Baby Discussion". Then there was the Hyde and Eric factor. They were starting to get along with each other again and Jackie hoped that they wouldn't let the "Baby Stuff" affect their relationship with each other. Jackie read up on adoption and found out unless you were very wealthy and knew the right people to pull the right strings you could be on a waiting list for years. She knew Steven was adamant on the subject, but why? Eric and Donna would be excellent parents just as she and Steven already are. Jackie really didn't want to have this discussion in a kid's themed fast food restaurant but when Hyde came back to the table after putting Tiffany on the coin operated horse ride she felt she had to.  
  
"She's getting so big," Jackie waved to her daughter, "Steven, I just want you to know I really haven't changed my mind." She finished her soda.  
  
"I know. I haven't changed my mind, either."  
  
"Donna and Eric had a terrible falling out over this."  
  
"And that's our problem?"  
  
"They've started talking again, but, please Steven," Jackie held his hand,  
  
"We have the opportunity to make it better."  
  
"Why should it be our place? Damn, Jackie," Hyde had to stop as Tiffany got off the horse and ran back to the table, "Can I play more games?"  
  
"No, sweetie, we really need to go back home. I want to take a nap. Maybe, your Daddy will take you to the park?"  
  
"Yeah. We can make fun of the rich old ladies."  
  
"Tiffany! Who taught you that?"  
  
"Daddy."  
  
Hyde smiled she was coming along nicely.  
  
Eric picked up the telephone and started dialing his parent's number but he put the receiver back down quickly because he didn't need to be yelled at by Big Red and he wasn't thinking about his Father.  
  
He was supposed to be working but his mind wasn't on it and the last thing he wanted to do was type in the wrong numbers on his computer and give someone more money than they had or take it all away with a few clicks of the computer mouse. He thought about talking to his Mother, just as unknown to him that was Jackie's back up plan to talk to Kitty. In many ways it seemed that Donna and Hyde should've been the couple-and what would've scared the Hell out of Eric then but not now was that he and Jackie probably could've had a nice life together. His heart would always belong to Donna; it was just that she seemed to have more in common with Hyde. Although, he didn't know what he had "in common" with Jackie except loving her daughter except they did think alike at times. Donna and Hyde were extremely stubborn. Someone knocked on his office door and he had to quickly pretend that he was working so he opened up a Manila folder and picked up a pen.  
  
"Hi, Stan, what do you need?" Eric asked  
  
"The folder for the Kelly account."  
  
"It's on the table."  
  
"Are you okay, Eric? You haven't seemed like yourself for awhile now?" He inquired.  
  
"You can tell all the people who like to gossip around the water cooler because their f***ing lives are so boring that they like to interfere in mine. I am NOT on Coke." Geez, everybody always thought he was one stressful incident away from running back to the white lines.  
  
"I didn't mean anything by it."  
  
"Who is more foolish the fool or the one who follows the fool?* Take your folder, Stan and leave me alone."  
  
"Sorry, Eric."  
  
"Dumbass." Eric muttered under his breath when Stan closed the door behind him.  
  
2PM  
  
Donna dropped off her article at the newspaper office and she thought of seeing Eric but if they had an argument? They talked but it was polite, even when they made love it was polite. She sat on a park bench to have her bottled water in peace. The weather was cold but she didn't care. She saw a Father take his baby out in a stroller. She knew Eric looked forward to those little things. How could they take Jackie and Hyde's baby? It was wrong on so many levels. Jackie didn't think about either baby getting sick or what if one died, then what? Eric and Hyde's friendship that was on very shaky ground, but you couldn't blame Hyde for wanting all of his children, it was his parental right, although he didn't have to bring up Eric's problem, but then again so did she in his office. It all went back to that one time. That one day that they were all paying the price for.  
  
~Donna's flashback~  
  
"You are so unreasonable, Donna!" Eric stood up, how come she never wanted the same things that he did?  
  
"Eric, we're too young to have children. I didn't say I didn't want to have a family someday."  
  
"And when do you think that day will come?" Eric took a beer out of the refrigerator.  
  
"Don't push me!"  
  
"Oh, it's your precious career, well Donna I don't see you being nominated for the Pulitzer Prize. You write fluff pieces!"  
  
"F*** you, Eric!"  
  
"My Mother didn't put off having children."  
  
"I am NOT your Mother!"  
  
"You don't have to tell me that." Eric slammed the bottle down on the counter  
  
"What am I supposed to do stay at home and cook and clean all day while you come home from a hard day's night at the office?"  
  
"My Mother's a nurse. I didn't say working was wrong, but she found the balance why can't you?"  
  
"Eric, I don't want to be pushed into having children right now. You should understand that. Be an adult for once. I don't get much understanding from you."  
  
"I'm not sorry. I'm not. Either you want a child with me or you don't."  
  
"Sometimes you act like a spoiled child who has to get his way!"  
  
"You're the one who won't marry me, either! How long am I supposed to be engaged to you? Do you know what being engaged to be married means Donna?"  
  
"Don't you dare be condescending to me," She twisted the ring, but didn't take it off  
  
"You know what your trouble is? You don't know what you want. How long do you think you can string me along before I just break up with you? And I'll tell you another thing I won't be chasing you cross country, either."  
  
"Are you threatening me, Eric?"  
  
"Take it anyway you want, Donna. I'm done arguing with you. I'm going out."  
  
She watched him put on his jacket and of course he had to prove his manhood by slamming the door. The phone rang and Donna was in no mood to answer it, but when she heard who it was on the answering machine she picked up the phone.  
  
"Hey, what's up? Nothing, I just have a cold. He's not here, he went out. You are? That's great. I could use one. Just give me twenty minutes to change and I'll meet you there."  
  
Donna was not going to sit around and wait for Eric to return. She thought of the future he wanted and the future she wanted and even though they both tried like hell to stretch the high school 'promise' into the college 'promise' and now the we're just starting our independent lives 'promise' they were a complete mismatch. He wasn't even a friend to her anymore and that was a big let down. Hyde called for Eric, but he got Donna instead and he seemed almost surprised that she accepted his invite for drinks. She went to her dresser and took out a clean shirt. She thought of the night at the disco and the night at Jackie's cabin. He always wanted her. They had more in common then her and Eric. She knew Hyde wouldn't push the kid issue and he wouldn't call her writing "fluff pieces". She went to her closet and took out her dressier black jeans. She didn't know why she thought she wanted Eric. Maybe it was because he was more reliable and more responsible? But that seemed so boring when their young lives were on the horizon, now was the time to be crazy and carefree not to follow an engaged-married-kids blueprint. They would be older adults soon enough, why rush it? Why was Eric in such a hurry? She put her hair in a ponytail because she didn't have time to wash it and it was a mess. She tripped over one of his-oh excuse me, not toys collectibles-and threw it across the room where she knocked their University of Wisconsin diplomas off the shelf. The doubts were there in college for Christ sake. She skipped the perfume. She wasn't one for much perfume, besides Eric bought her most of these bottles and the one she bought for herself was mostly used up. Maybe her future lied with Steven Hyde and not Eric Forman? ~End flashback~  
  
Donna rubbed her gloved hands together to give herself some warmth as she was sitting on the bench way too long, she threw all of her stuff in her tote bag, and proceeded to go home. She knew what she had to do. 


	8. The Good Lie

Chapter 8 The Good Lie Same day as Chapter 7  
  
Eric thought he was in the wrong apartment when he put the key in the lock when he entered the candlelit room. He got as far as putting his briefcase on the floor and his coat on the hook when Donna put her arms around him. Her hands slightly shaking as she took off his blazer and undid his tie, kissing him frantically as if they were separated for many years.  
  
"Wow," Eric almost forgot how tense these past few weeks were, "Do you mind if I enter the room again?"  
  
"I can't argue gracefully," Donna, admitted, "I'm sorry."  
  
He kissed her, "I love you, Donna, I'm sorry, too. I was worried this was going to break our marriage."  
  
"I know, Eric. Sit down-I made dinner."  
  
"Why is the telephone on my plate?"  
  
"Why don't you see who it is?"  
  
Eric picked up the phone, "Hello? She did? Really? That's gr-wait before we all get our hopes up-yeah, I know. Okay. I don't want your marriage to crumble over it, either. Talk to you later, bye."  
  
Eric put the phone back on the hook and that's when he noticed the suitcase by their bedroom door.  
  
"Ignore the suitcase. I just forgot to put it away."  
  
"Where were you going?"  
  
"I'm not going to lie to you, Eric. I was going to leave for awhile, just to clear my head. Then I thought I would really be my Mother's daughter if I did that. So, I had a lot of time to think and that's why I called Jackie."  
  
Eric was shocked and stunned at the same time. "You were going to leave me but had an epiphany and decided to reconsider Jackie's offer instead? Meanwhile, Hyde still thinks this is one bad idea? Am I right on all this?" Eric asked as Donna put the main course on the table.  
  
"Pretty much." Donna drank her water. She thought Eric would have a conniption over just her thinking of leaving. "I'm glad you decided to stay," Eric replied softly, "And I guess I can have an epiphany, too."  
  
"Which is?"  
  
"I'll respect whatever Hyde decides, but I still want a child, Donna, that feeling is not going away, but I don't want to fight over it like we've been doing, you're too special to me."  
  
She got up to kiss him. She'd love to be a fly on the wall at Jackie and Hyde's.  
  
NYC  
  
"I hate you, too," Jackie hung up the phone ending a typical phone call with her ex-husband.  
  
"Does he always phone at dinner time?" Hyde asked  
  
They had the apartment to themselves as Tiffany was sleeping over a friend's in one of the apartments two floors down.  
  
"Yeah. Steven, I don't want to talk about Brad. But, I had two interesting phone conversations while you were out." Jackie took a big helping of mashed potatoes.  
  
"From?"  
  
"Donna called me, she was this close to leaving Eric while he was at work, but in her words had a lot of time to think about the situation and decided to reconsider. I also talked to Eric because Donna wanted me to tell him as some sort of surprise."  
  
"So, now it's all up to me? And if I don't agree to this, I'll be the bastard?"  
  
"No, Steven, not at all. I just want you to-"  
  
"Jackie, you say it's up to me but you keep pressing me to say 'yes'. Look, I'm sorry Forman and Donna can't have a child and maybe Donna's not the only one, I can also feel guilty for my part in it. Is it our fault they won't adopt? Why is it so easy for you to give away one of your unborn children?"  
  
"You act like we aren't going to see the baby? Although, I am worried about you and Eric staying friends. The babies will interact and will know each other."  
  
"How when they live in f***ing Missouri?" Steven drank his wine.  
  
"The same way we do now, we visit each other during holidays and vacations."  
  
"You have a very perfect view about all this. Life as you know by now, Jackie, is not perfect and it's our responsibility to ensure the happiness of our children." Hyde thought that statement sounded anti-Hyde but if he was going to be corny in one area it was going to be on the welfare of his children.  
  
"Donna and Eric are not monsters, you know they'd give that baby a good home."  
  
"I love you, Jackie, you know that. And I want to take care of you to make sure you have a problem free pregnancy but if you think I'm going to give one of our babies to Donna and Forman you are off your rocker." Hyde got up, he needed something stronger than wine with his meal.  
  
"Why are you so stubborn, Steven?" Jackie on the other hand was starving and ate everything on her plate.  
  
She was torn between doing right by her husband and her friends. Then in between the second helpings she had an idea that just might work, even if did involve someone she couldn't stand.  
  
Next day 8AM  
  
Eric poured himself a cup of coffee as Donna was typing on her laptop.  
  
"Morning, Donna."  
  
"Hi, Eric." They kissed each other good morning.  
  
Eric wanted to ask her if she got a phone call at four thirty in the morning, but then it would make him involved and today he wanted to wallow in ignorant bliss. If he was meant to know something he would be told about it. Did thinking of this make him 'involved' anyway?  
  
"I have to leave early today. My inbox has more folders in it than my outbox. I'll see you later, Love you." He kissed her goodbye.  
  
"Bye, Eric."  
  
Donna had to admit Jackie's idea was a good one and even though they weren't directly involving her jerk of an ex-husband, Brad still held one very important key and Donna didn't know if Jackie could pull it off.  
  
Jackie didn't bat an eyelash this morning when she told Steven she had to go out this morning. She took an extended leave of absence from her job the moment she found out she was expecting twins. She hated, hated, hated dealing with Brad. He shouldn't be too difficult because he wasn't going to know the real reason of her visit. She came in on a good day a lot of stuff was going on as his company was finally moving into one of the towers. She was let in because everyone knew she was Brad's ex-wife. She just hoped he wasn't fondling some secretary at this early morning hour. She took a deep breath before opening his door the key with Brad was not letting him know how much you really wanted something otherwise he'd use that to his advantage.  
  
"What do you want, Jackie?"  
  
"To apologize for how I ended the call last night, I was stressed out. If you want to take Tiffany to visit your Mother that's fine."  
  
"You could've done that over the telephone. What do you really want?" He got up from his leather swivel chair.  
  
"Steven and I want to go away for a few months. I need you to sublet the apartment," Jackie debated about the money if she told him to 'keep it all' he would know something was up for sure, "You can keep 60/40."  
  
"Sixty/Forty? Was I born yesterday?"  
  
"Okay, Brad, how about 70/30?"  
  
"No. Try 80/20."  
  
She sighed for effect, "Fine."  
  
"When are you planning to leave?"  
  
"I don't know yet, I haven't booked our trip yet."  
  
She was there all this time and it really bothered her that he did not ask about Tiffany.  
  
"When you do, get back in touch with me." Brad would never say 'no' to money and that's what Jackie was counting on.  
  
"I will. Aren't you going to ask about our daughter?"  
  
"No, because it drives you crazy. You're gaining a lot of weight with this pregnancy. Does Steven like you fat?"  
  
Jackie couldn't break her cool and she knew Brad was just trying to push her buttons so he could decline her offer. She had to be better than him.  
  
"It's only baby fat," God she can't believe she actually was married to this ass**** "It'll come off with exercise."  
  
"Well you better have a lifetime membership at the gym to get all that fat off and you're not even due for awhile yet, but I know how much you love Godiva chocolate."  
  
"I'll fax you when we leave for our trip. Goodbye, Brad."  
  
"Bye, Jackie, thanks for stopping by."  
  
She hated him so much but she had to stay focused and remind herself of why she was doing this in the first place.  
  
It was simple she just wanted to help Donna and Eric out.  
  
The Good Lie  
February  
  
It was Saturday and all Eric wanted to was hang out with Donna in their apartment and maybe if he didn't mess it up like he sometimes did in these situations they'd spend the better part of the day in bed. Donna was at her computer again when Eric put the postcard on her table.  
  
"Another one?" she asked  
  
"Yeah from Italy." Although Eric found it extremely strange that a woman who was due to give birth in just a few months all of a sudden wanted to go traipsing around the globe?  
  
"Read it for me, I have to finish this paragraph."  
  
"Okay," Eric picked it up, "Dear Donna and Eric, Steven and I are having an wonderful time in Venice. It's very beautiful here and the food is excellent. I'll send you another postcard soon. Love, The Hyde's-Jackie and Steven. Donna, I know I asked this before, but I can't believe Hyde went along with Jackie's idea to go on all these trips when the baby is due in May." Eric was also concerned on Tiffany having to spend all that time with Brad and the rest of his snobby well to do family on the trips she couldn't go on because of school.  
  
"Well, it's what Jackie wanted and besides not all pregnancies end up where the Mother becomes bed ridden."  
  
"I don't know, it still seems odd to me."  
  
"Eric, you're breaking my concentration, and I had plans to seduce you when I was done with this article you know."  
  
"What if I don't want you to seduce me?"  
  
"Yeah, right." Donna laughed, finishing her article.  
  
April  
  
Eric looked at the clock. It was nine o'clock in the morning, but that was okay, it was a Sunday. Donna said she wanted to go to the market so she wouldn't have to do it on Monday morning. He didn't want to get out of bed. Sunday's were his lazy days. Red loved that. "In my day we didn't have time to be lazy". He did the circle world puzzle when the doorbell rang. It was probably Donna with a bunch of shopping bags. He had to leave his nice, warm bed to answer the door. He was surprised when he saw Tiffany standing there carrying her little white suitcase with the big '70s pink flower on it. It had to have belonged to Jackie.  
  
"Hi, Eric!"  
  
"Hi, Tiffany," He peered his head out the door, "Where's your Mommy and Hyde?"  
  
"They're coming later."  
  
He invited her in. "How'd you get here?"  
  
"Dad's jet."  
  
"No, sweetie, I meant how'd you get from the airport to my apartment?"  
  
"Dad had a car for me at the airport."  
  
Brad let Tiffany come here to his and Donna's apartment? Something was fishy about this whole thing. Tiffany was hungry so he opened up a box of Lucky Charms and poured a bowl for himself as well. Jackie was well in her eighth month you'd think she'd want to be home in New York City to give birth. Wait a minute. Wait a minute!  
  
"How long are you guys staying for a visit?"  
  
"I don't know, Eric. Can we play lightsabers later?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
It couldn't be. Eric pieced together what he knew from what Donna told him. Brad agreed to let Jackie and Hyde sublet the apartment while they were gone on their travel adventures, Tiffany was stuck staying with her dill hole of a biological Father, Grandparents in Connecticut, as well as her with the family of her friend in their apartment building in NYC. Jackie and Hyde are coming here to meet Tiffany in St. Louis rather than NYC. If they were back in America, why didn't they just go back to their apartment? It was the good lie. If Eric knew his hunches Jackie probably played both ends against the middle hoping Hyde and Brad's paths would never cross. Because Brad would not seek out Hyde on purpose, only if he wanted something and Hyde would not seek Brad out on purpose unless it was something that concerned Tiffany or Jackie. This was the last stop. Lying was not good in a marriage and he had worries that when Hyde found out about the reason for all this, he would blow his top. Would he leave Jackie over it? Probably not. All of a sudden Jackie's perfect plan was imperfect because she tried taking the honesty route and it didn't work. All of a sudden maybe raising one of their twins did not seem like a good idea. Donna didn't reschedule that appointment with the Golden Cross and Eric knew they weren't going to be adopting a child. Still Jackie was going to drag Hyde here under a large window of false pretense. Donna was in on Jackie's plan after all she reconsidered but was still part of the good lie nonetheless. She was probably at the grocery store getting enough food for four adults and one child. It was perfect to leave sleepy Eric in his bed while she went out getting anything labeled "family sized." It was executed brilliantly, but Eric was too guilty and was surprised he didn't piece this whole thing together earlier. How could he let Hyde sit next to him at the table and watch Jackie tell him whatever she had to tell him so that they'd stay here longer, unaware that she was going to give birth in St. Louis? Jackie had the best intentions of wanting to help him and Donna have a baby, but to sneak under Hyde's radar was wrong. Eric bet his life on the fact that Jackie probably didn't bring up the Eric-and- Donna-are-childless-let's-give-them-one-of-our-twins topic all the months they've been on vacation. He probably thought she gave up on the idea all together. It was wrong to pull the wool over Hyde's eyes like that, though. Eric couldn't figure out the last piece to the puzzle. When and where Jackie was going to reveal the good lie to Hyde? He supposed she was expecting Hyde to miraculously change his mind and right there in the hospital present Eric and his lovely wife Donna with one of the babies. All smile for the birdie. Jackie could not have possibly had an ending for her plan. She had the great beginning to get them out of New York City, she had the great middle of not mentioning the situation regarding the babies and just concentrated on having a great vacation, but she did not have the great ending. Eric was sure of all this as he was certain that Star Wars was the best movie ever. Hyde had to know though; to keep it from him would be dead wrong.  
  
"Do you want more cereal, Tiffany?" Eric asked  
  
"No, thanks. Can I play a video game?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
The doorbell rang again. This time it was Donna with the grocery bags.  
  
"Wow, you got a very big order." Eric said, helping her  
  
They were going to have to make a few trips to bring all the grocery bags in.  
  
"I thought we needed to stock up on some groceries."  
  
"How'd you get up here?"  
  
"Mr. Allen helped me. Oh, look who is here, hi Tiffany."  
  
"Hi, Donna! Eric made me Lucky Charms."  
  
"I'll be right back, Donna. I have to set up a video game for Tiffany."  
  
He couldn't believe that Donna actually thought he wouldn't notice the above normal amount of groceries that were purchased, especially when she left the house ten minutes before Tiffany's arrival. It was all part of the good lie. They didn't have an ending though. Not a proper planned one like the other two steps. Eric couldn't imagine Hyde just staying here in St. Louis waiting for Jackie's water to break.  
  
"Eric, here's the candy you like," Donna threw the bag at him  
  
"Just like Pavlov's dog right, Donna?" Eric opened up the bag and took out a piece of candy and popped it in his mouth. He gave one to Tiffany too.  
  
Tiffany helped out with putting away the groceries as Eric set up the Nintendo machine.  
  
"I set up it up, Tiffany."  
  
"You can go play, Tiffany, tell Luke Skywalker to help me put away the groceries." Donna folded the brown paper bags as she was done with them and put them in their usual spot in the cabinet under the sink.  
  
Eric looked at Donna as he put the cans away in the cupboard that she and Jackie had the best intentions it's not like they were evil beings trying to control the universe. It was just wrong. When all of the groceries were put away and Donna was talking to Tiffany about school he snuck out of the apartment with his cell phone and called Hyde's cell phone. All he got was his voice mail. He looked at his watch and figured they'd have to be arriving by now.  
  
"Eric, what are you doing out here?" asked Donna watching Eric try to hide his phone in his pocket.  
  
"I went to check on the mail."  
  
"It's Sunday."  
  
"I know, I just remembered, silly me."  
  
"Is there something you want to tell me, Eric?" Donna asked  
  
"No. Let's go inside, it's cold out here." He replied.  
  
He wished he could talk to Hyde before he arrived here, but there was nothing to do but play a lightsaber battle with Tiffany.  
  
"Finally, Hyde!" Eric exclaimed when he saw Hyde get off the elevator without Jackie in tow.  
  
"Forman, why do you have a towel tucked into the back of your shirt?" Hyde was tired; he thought that vacation, even though they had the money, was much too long for his taste.  
  
"Oh," He blushed and took it off, "That's my cape. Seriously, man, I need to talk to you. Where's Jackie?"  
  
"In New York."  
  
"You knew?"  
  
"Did Donna tell you?"  
  
"Yeah, right. I figured it out."  
  
"Me too."  
  
"It's wrong to raise one of your twins as my own."  
  
"SEE! That's what I was trying to f***ing say all along, man."  
  
"I hope you aren't mad at Jackie she meant well even if she did lie-just a little."  
  
"I know, Forman. I'm too tired to travel today, so if it's all right to crash here for the night, Tiffany and I will leave tomorrow morning."  
  
"Sure," Eric wanted to say more, but knew Hyde was not a Chatty-Cathy.  
  
"Daddy!" Tiffany opened the door; she knew that was his voice.  
  
"Hi, Tiffany." Eric watched them hug. He didn't know what him and Donna were going to do, maybe he had to go back to accepting the fact that they would never have children, but he knew how much they both wanted a baby. Still and even though bless Jackie's heart for thinking of them like that it was very wrong to take one of the twins as their own.  
  
"When are we going home?"  
  
"Tomorrow morning."  
  
"Eric and I played lightsabers-and I won."  
  
"Of course you won, sweetie, you're stronger than Forman!"  
  
Eric smirked as they went back inside the apartment.  
  
Donna had her back turned as she was on the phone in the small kitchen area with Jackie putting the good lie to rest once and for all. 


	9. Transitions

Chapter 9 Transitions  
  
May 7, 2001  
  
Donna felt like a weight was lifted from her shoulders. She was hesitant when she had changed her mind regarding Jackie's proposal and thought it was all right because she was doing more so for Eric than herself. She was relieved that Eric and finally Jackie realized although the gesture was meaningful and Donna did love Jackie for it. That it was wrong. You can't do something like that without messing up the children's, not to mention all the adults involved, lives. It wasn't her business and she didn't ask what was the conversation with Hyde that finally changed her mind. She was just glad Jackie gave up on the idea. Now her and Eric were in the waiting room at Roosevelt Hospital in New York City because she wanted her friends there and she didn't want strangers watching or worse, her Father watching Tiffany.  
  
"Can you believe Hyde is in the delivery room with Jackie?" Eric asked  
  
"No-if that were me in there, would you be in the room with me?"  
  
"I'd be in the room with you, Donna, I might be fainted on the floor, but I'd be in the room with you."  
  
"You're funny, Eric." said Tiffany, she couldn't wait to see the babies  
  
"Wasn't I ever suave?"  
  
"No, dear, nice try, that was Fez." Donna replied  
  
Meet the Parents  
  
"Come on, Jackie, push harder!" Hyde coached her, she was tired and it was easier with Tiffany maybe because there was only one of her and she had two babies to push out.  
  
"Steven, shut up, I know how to push." He took that with a grain of salt many of his friends told him the names they were called when their girlfriends or wives were in the delivery room. It was par for the course.  
  
"Jackie you know the drill, you're almost there." The doctor said to her.  
  
"Spoken like a man," She just wanted her babies OUT of her body. She forgot how terrible childbirth was. She just wanted to see her beautiful babies and the smile that would be on her husband's face when he meets his babies for the first time.  
  
Two hours and ten minutes later an exhausted but elated Steven Hyde went inside the waiting room. Tiffany ran to him.  
  
"Daddy, are the babies born?"  
  
He picked her up and hugged her, "Yeah. You are now officially a big sister."  
  
Donna and Eric got up to congratulate him. When Eric saw the sparkle in Hyde's eyes he knew even if he didn't come to the conclusion before he never could have 'taken' one of his children.  
  
"Are they boys or girls?" Eric asked  
  
"One of each."  
  
"That's awesome, Hyde." Donna said, she was really happy for them.  
  
"Can we see Mommy now?" Tiffany asked  
  
"The doctor said to wait for twenty minutes, but we can go to the nursery windows to see the babies."  
  
"I'm really happy for you." Eric said quietly as Donna walked ahead with Tiffany.  
  
"I know, thanks, Forman."  
  
Girl Talk  
  
When Hyde took Tiffany back to the apartment and Eric went out to buy a present, Jackie wanted to see Donna again just to make sure that everything was all right.  
  
"Donna, you don't have to worry, I'm fine."  
  
"I know I told you before, but they really are beautiful, Jackie. Do you have names picked out yet?"  
  
"Hannah and Hunter."  
  
"Hannah and Hunter Hyde? Sounds like you had those names in your head for awhile."  
  
Jackie smiled and decided to change the subject.  
  
"I don't want you to worry, Donna, you and Eric will have a baby someday. I never should have let my emotions get in the way. Every time, I have an idea something always goes wrong."  
  
"It wasn't a bad idea, it came from your heart-you just didn't think of all the consequences. When do you get discharged?"  
  
"Tomorrow. They don't keep you in very long like they did with our Mother's unless there's a problem. I'm rich and even my insurance company doesn't want to fork out the money."  
  
"That stinks," Donna noticed the ripped up card in the garbage, "From Brad?"  
  
"Yeah, and if Steven saw what he wrote in that card he'd go down there and kill him, that's why I ripped it up."  
  
Donna looked at the clock, "I don't know where Eric is, he said he was just going to buy a gift and come right back."  
  
"Are you and Eric really fine?"  
  
"Yes, Jackie, we are fine." Donna noticed Jackie's eyes droop.  
  
"I'll let you rest. I'll talk to you later, Mom." Donna quipped as she watched Jackie sleep with a content smile on her face.  
  
Cradle and All  
  
July 4, 2001 Florida  
  
Not quite two-month-old Hannah and Hunter Hyde's first trip was a plane ride to Florida to visit what all intents and purposes Hyde considered their unofficial grandparents Red and Kitty Forman for the Fourth of July holiday. Eric and Donna were also coming for a visit but couldn't stay as long as usual this time due to work commitments for both. Kitty was gushing over the babies with Jackie, she never saw her Grandson because Laurie was a grown up snot. Tiffany suckered not only Donna but also Hyde and Red into playing a board game. Eric came back from the newsstand a few minutes ago and wanted to see how long he could enjoy the solace. He had something very important to ask Donna and was almost afraid to. What if she said 'no'? (again). He thought of asking her on the airplane but chickened out, he tried to again in the rental car but he couldn't bring himself to. He knew this was to be their last chance.  
  
"Oh, Eric, you're back." Donna went in the kitchen to get herself a soda and sat down next to him.  
  
"I just went to get a paper," Eric sighed, it was either now or never, "Donna, there's something I want to talk to you about, but I don't know how to tell you."  
  
"I sensed there was something, you don't have to be afraid to talk to me."  
  
"I know. There was a reason why I was late coming home from my support group meeting last week."  
  
"You didn't---"  
  
"No, I didn't."  
  
"I'm sorry, Eric."  
  
"It's okay. The reason why I was late was Mr. Greene wanted to see me and another former user in his office; this is hard I'm so afraid you are going to say 'no'."  
  
She held his hand, "What is it?"  
  
"They chose me and another person in the group for," He took the folded up pamphlet out of his jeans pocket, "this."  
  
"The Greater St. Louis area Recovery Child Bridge Program." She read the title.  
  
"I told them I couldn't commit to anything until I talked it over with you. The reason that they chose us is because we're the ones who are less likely to relapse after we had our initial expected relapses and are in steady jobs."  
  
Donna read many articles about babies born to drug addicted Mothers, many children if they didn't lose their health battles were shuffled in and out of foster homes, and sometimes not the best foster homes. Maybe this was the child that was on the horizon? She knew if the baby died, Eric would be a complete wreck, while she kept it all in until exploding at the next holiday family function. A lot of those babies did pull through and led somewhat normal lives when adopted by loving families. Could it be them?  
  
She grabbed the pamphlet and put it in her pocket just incase someone walked in the kitchen. She put her arms around Eric and hugged him.  
  
"I know this is not going to be easy, but let's do this."  
  
"I love you, Donna, you are the best wife ever."  
  
Eric knew the road that lie ahead was going to be the most difficult chapter of their lives, even when compared to his active drug user days. He kept his mind focused on the end result-Them finally being a family in the true sense of the word.  
  
There was a small balcony off to the dining room which kind of resembled Eric and Donna's in St. Louis it was the perfect size for a small family get together and Red didn't want anyone else doing the grilling but him which was fine by everybody else. Jackie just put the twins down for their naps and decided to help Donna take the plastic plates and forks out for Kitty.  
  
"Donna, I know that look, you have a secret you want to tell," Jackie smiled, "What is it?"  
  
"I don't have a secret, Jackie. I don't know if Eric wants everyone to know yet."  
  
Jackie put the bag containing the plastic utensils down and pulled out a chair for Donna, "Spill it."  
  
"It's not bad, but you cannot tell Mr. and Mrs. Forman," Donna realized herself and Eric could be also be called "Mr. and Mrs. Forman" it made her feel old, older than she wanted to be, but she wasn't going to cover her gray hair (not that she had any yet.) the way someone else she knew very well did.  
  
"I won't. Did you finally call an adoption agency?" Jackie asked  
  
"Not quite." and Donna told Jackie a Cliffnotes version of what she and Eric discussed.  
  
"I think that's great. I saw a special on TV about babies born to drug addicted Mothers and I cried, of course, I was pregnant with Tiffany at the time and married to Brad, so I was an emotional roller coaster anyway."  
  
"I'm nervous, I had reservations being a Mother to a normal healthy baby. How can I be a Mother to a baby who-" Donna trailed off her words.  
  
"Love is the same."  
  
"How in the Hell did you get so smart?" Donna had to change the tone of the conversation and figured saving face with humor would do the trick.  
  
"I was always the genius of the group, we better get back to the barbeque before they start sending in the search dogs for us."  
  
They got Mrs. Forman's plastic supplies and walked to the balcony. Jackie knew Donna and Eric would be all right.  
Later that night  
  
"Eric, I am glad you thought of getting your parents a sofa bed for Christmas." Donna stretched her legs then rested them on his.  
  
"You told Jackie didn't you?" Eric asked, he wasn't angry he just figured because of all the smiley looks she gave him and Donna during supper.  
  
"Yeah. She knew something was on my mind."  
  
"I don't think we should tell our parents. We don't want to get their hopes up." Eric said while trying to undo her bra  
  
"I know. Eric, how many years has it been and you still can't undo my bra?!" She laughed, she rarely wore one to bed, but sometimes she liked to put it on for the foreplay just to see how long it would take for him to successfully take it off.  
  
"Well, what are you doing wearing one to bed?"  
  
"Ssh, I think someone is coming through the living room."  
  
'Well, if you weren't wearing a bra, Donna, I'd be done by now!'  
  
"Take it to a motel, man."  
  
"Hyde! What are you doing up?" Eric asked  
  
"Steven, if you think about taking the last of the apple pie you are mistaken."  
  
Eric put the covers over his head at the sound of Red entering the room  
  
"I believe Mrs. Forman promised me the last piece."  
  
"What's all the noise?" enter Kitty  
  
"It's Eric's frustration on not getting any." Hyde quipped  
  
"Hyde!" Eric replied with his head still under the covers. How could he say that in front of his parents? He didn't care how old he was.  
  
Donna laughed, "They're all hungry for a midnight snack."  
  
"I knew this would happen, that's why I hid the OTHER pie."  
  
Donna pulled the covers off Eric, "Go have some pie."  
  
"I'm not hungry." 'well not hungry for pie'  
  
"Yes, you are."  
  
"Oh, I get it. Do you want some pie, too?" Since Hyde was in a good mood with Eric especially after their roundtable argument she wanted to make sure it stayed that way.  
  
"No," she kissed him on the nose, "I'm tired. I'm going to bed."  
  
"That's not fair, Donna."  
  
"Tell that me last week when you stayed up late playing with your Star Wars CD-ROM."  
  
"Touché," Eric replied wryly trying to convince himself that a slice of his Mother's homemade apple pie was better than making love to Donna. It wasn't.  
  
NYC Mid July 2001  
  
Tiffany sulked as Jackie and Hyde played with the babies in the living room. She loved her brother and sister at first, but that was before they started getting all of the attention. She drew a picture and her Daddy didn't look at it just like her real Dad didn't LOOK at her drawings either and her Mommy's favorite new words were "not now." She would have runaway to Eric and Donna's house but they were too far away.  
  
"Tiffany, will you help me pick these toys up?" asked Jackie, she wanted the housekeeper to come into a clean house.  
  
"Why? I didn't make the mess!"  
  
"Tiffany," Hyde couldn't believe the words that were about to come out of his mouth because he still hated authority and everything corporate but he still had three children to raise so, so be it, "Don't take that tone with your Mother."  
  
"You and Mommy only care about the babies! I hate them! I wish they were never born." She ran to her room.  
  
"Steven," Jackie started to get up, she wanted to cry, her daughter never was like this before, even on the day she locked herself in the closet.  
  
"I'll go talk to her." Hyde said as he kissed his wife for reassurance.  
  
Hyde didn't know whether to laugh or cry when he saw Tiffany start to pack her little suitcase.  
  
"Where are you going, Tiffany?"  
  
"I don't know. Eric has cool toys, but his Mommy cooks good."  
  
"And how are you getting to where you want to go?"  
  
"MY private jet." Damn, she had him there.  
  
"Don't you like it here anymore?"  
  
"I used to. The babies were cool at first but now they are pains."  
  
"I see. Your Mommy and I love you very much and we don't want you to be unhappy. So, if you want to leave you can leave."  
  
She stopped packing, he was supposed to get angry and stuff.  
  
"You DIDN'T look at my drawing!"  
  
"Yes, I did. It was a pink horse."  
  
"Nah-uh, Daddy, it was a PURPLE unicorn."  
  
"I'm sorry, Tiffany. I know it seems that your Mommy and I push you aside and that's not true at all, it's just hard taking care of two babies."  
  
"I want to be a baby!"  
  
"No, you don't. You're Hannah and Hunter's big sister. You'll get to teach them everything you know, because kids shouldn't get all their lessons from adults."  
  
"I will?"  
  
"Yeah. Do you still want to runaway?"  
  
"No."  
  
"How about a hug for your Daddy?" Hyde asked "Okay! But it was a PURPLE unicorn!" She replied in his warm shoulder.  
  
"Is everything all right in here?" Jackie opened the door as Tiffany ran into her Mother's arms.  
  
"I love you, too, Mommy!" She ran to hug her Mother.  
  
"Aw, sweetie, I want you to know that me and your Daddy love all of you the same."  
  
"Daddy explained it, can I go outside and play?"  
  
"Sure." Jackie kissed her cheek. It was only a matter of time before she would be sixteen and they would be fighting over boys and curfews.  
  
"You want to ride your bike?" Hyde asked  
  
"Yeah, but not the one Dad got me, the one YOU got me."  
  
Tiffany was only one of a very select few who could turn Steven Hyde's heart into butter.  
  
MO  
  
Donna hung up the telephone as Eric sat on the sofa trying to watch a movie. He didn't ask her; she just did it on her own. She brought two glasses of iced-tea and set them on the coasters.  
  
"What are you watching, Eric?" In a rare instance when it wasn't a movie from a galaxy far, far away.  
  
"The Perfect Storm."  
  
"What happened did you break your Star Wars tapes?"  
  
"Don't even think that, Donna. In the event of a fire if it's either saving you or all my Star Wars stuff that's going to be a pretty hard choice to decide." He ribbed her  
  
"All right, you know what time it is,"  
  
"Uh-oh."  
  
"That's right Eric, it's headlock time."  
  
"You realize I'm not going to fight back, right? I'm in your chest. Think about it." He replied in a muffed voice.  
  
"Hmm," she abruptly let go to watch him wobble like a weeble but not fall down, "You're right, good night, Eric!" She pretended to get up.  
  
"Is this going to lead to sex?" He batted his eyelashes  
  
"It might." She led him to their bedroom.  
  
They kissed each other as they moved closer to the bed.  
  
"Donna," he said as he unbuttoned her blouse, "I love you so much, and thank you."  
  
She stopped for a moment. "Thanks for what?"  
  
"For the call you made earlier. I didn't tell you to make it, I just assumed I was going to make all the arrangements-"  
  
"Well, Eric, you assumed wrong, we're going to be going through this TOGETHER." She put her hands on his shoulders and brought him to her.  
  
"I know this is going to sound corny-"  
  
"It hasn't stopped you before."  
  
"True. Do you think we could fantasize that this is the night we-you know."  
  
"Made our baby?" She whispered into his shoulder  
  
"Yeah. I told you it was corny."  
  
"No, it's not Eric," she felt her back fall on the soft, billowy bed, "I think it's a beautiful thought."  
  
For what was to them a very beautiful night to "make" a baby.  
  
**************************************************************************** **************** 


	10. Perfect

Chapter 10 Perfect  
  
Early August 2001 NYC  
  
Jackie quietly walked to her drawer and took out her camera as Hyde fell asleep holding Hannah, while her brother was sleeping in the nursery. Hyde didn't make it that far, a copy of "Goodnight, Moon" on their end table. Steven finally had the family he wanted. Their angst was finally OVER and done with. The only thing left was getting out from the pile of legal papers so Tiffany could legally be Steven's daughter. She was thankful that Brad wasn't the one stalling it was just the slow official process. She couldn't imagine them having anymore problems other than the normal bickering that happens in a marriage, just as long as they didn't become stale. She would hate that. They were the perfect family, they didn't let money be their backdrop and Jackie could've sworn she curbed her shopping habits, okay she still had to buy those candles from France with the French spellings of the flowers on the glass holders but she sent two of them to Donna so it was technically a gift. She was the happiest she had ever been in her life, although tired, it wasn't easy dealing with two three month olds not to mention her big little girl. He wasn't so angry at the world anymore. Even though he still believed the government was out to stop the poor from getting ahead and he still believed marriage was invented purely for economical reasons, which was part of why he never registered to vote. He allowed himself to be happy and was elated that he and Jackie somehow got back together despite all the odds that were stacked against them. Jackie stood back and made sure the flash wasn't on and took the picture. The sound of the camera clicking woke Hyde up anyway.  
  
"Steven, you look so adorable that I had to take your picture."  
  
He looked down to see his daughter sleeping in his arms. Children were awesome they loved you unconditionally, you didn't have to buy their love or hire a Governess to take care of them while you jet setted to the islands. All they wanted was your touch.  
  
"We didn't make it to the nursery."  
  
"I can see that," She went over to kiss them both, "I have to take Tiffany to the dentist."  
  
"We'll be fine," Hyde replied, "and Jackie do you think you can resist the urge to shop while you're out?"  
  
"Hey, I don't go shopping all the time, and the last time I bought you a present."  
  
"White boxers with red hearts on them." They had fun with those!  
  
"Mommy!" Tiffany called out from the other room.  
  
"I'm coming, sweetie," Jackie threw her lipstick and keys in her purse and quickly headed out the door after saying goodbye to her husband and two babies while Tiffany waited by the elevator. She did like the babies, but they were still pains. She couldn't help wanting to be number one.  
  
MO  
  
Donna closed the cupboard softly resisting the urge to slam it. "Eric, I wish you wouldn't speak for me."  
  
"I thought I was doing the right thing-you saw the film how could I ask you to even consider this?  
  
It's just me being selfish again." As long as they didn't go to bed angry, he hated that.  
  
"I know it's going to be tough and I know you put it in your head all of a sudden that maybe it's not a good idea after all because you're worried about how I'll cope caring for a drug addicted baby. I love you and am also annoyed with you for it. At the end of the day we will both do fine." She put her hands on his shoulders and kissed his neck.  
  
"I'm sorry, Donna. I was just worried about the baby not being perfect," He stood up, "I mean they would be perfect to us and we both would be great parents, but a lot of them, we've read the websites, we've read the books, talked to experts, and you and I both know this child is going to have a tough road ahead. Sure, some appear normal, and it depends a lot on the Coke usage. And I'll tell you being a man who indulged, I never even had to think about pregnancy not that the women did either, they just wanted to get high, too."  
  
"That is why we have to cope and not get caught up into the latest research study. That means absolutely nothing to the babies who need love. Now you and I are keeping our lunchtime appointment at the hospital. Don't worry about me. You never would have been chosen for this program if your counselor didn't believe in you, Eric."  
  
He kissed her and tasted sugar from her lip stain, "I love you, Donna, I don't know if I wanted that 'out' for you or myself."  
  
"I'm just as scared as you are." All they fought and talked about for years was starting a family, let alone to even think about adopting a drug addicted baby. It was frightening no wonder he wanted an 'out' due to his own experiences with the drug. She kissed his hands, a tad envious of the seemingly 'perfect' Hyde family.  
  
NYC  
  
This was Steven Hyde's life fixing Jackie's hand held facial machine as his babies watched him from their little carriers. To the outside observer it would seem that this was a man who lost his ideals who did the same "selling out" that he falsely accused his best friend of. However, that outside observer would be wrong. While Hyde was not as emotional as Eric, they both had the love of great women in their lives. Hyde remembered once telling Mrs. Forman that he couldn't love Jackie (way before they embarked on a serious relationship) because she represented what he found intolerable but he didn't think she deserved being called a "bitch" like that. Beneath the money, shallow exterior, and popular girl was a very vulnerable little girl. He hated how they were separated for many years and it was only because of her nosy nature and trying to push him and Donna (!) together that led them back on the long and winding bumpy road where they were brought back into the drama that encapsulated the early essence of their relationship. Here they were finally married and he was a Father to three children. Jackie was no longer that scared below the surface little girl now. She was a woman in the true sense of the word. She was still zany, still loved to shop, and she did claim the master bathroom for herself two hours in the morning, and one at night, but he didn't care. When he was off in London wondering whatever became of Jackie Burkhart after the sex scenes that played in his head he would picture himself fixing household objects, her car, and her life. Yet, she fixed his life, staying by his bedside while he was in his coma. They told him he was briefly dead and although he didn't remember anyone calling him "to come into the white light"; he knew it was her love that pulled him though. Tiffany came through the door first with her bright smile and holding another toy car. He loved how whenever Jackie would try to feminize her daughter she rejected it. Hyde put the machine down on the table to help Jackie with the inevitable sight of shopping bags, but three of them were food bags so he couldn't get too angry. Not that he would be truly angry over it. Tiffany showed her brother and sister her little toy car from the dentist's office but as they were only three months old and didn't care.  
  
"You're down to five bags a day, you're cutting your habit in half." Hyde smiled  
  
"Funny, Steven. I bought you the chips you like."  
  
They went in the kitchen to put away the groceries, Tiffany followed to help.  
  
"How was your trip to the dentist?" Hyde asked  
  
"No cavities." Tiffany replied  
  
"Here, I'll put the cereal away, why don't you go play with your creepy crawly set and make your Mother some gummy spiders?"  
  
"Eww." Jackie smirked in her familiar way.  
  
"Okay. They're fun. I scared Dad's secretary last week when I used the black gummy mix, it looked like a real spider."  
  
Now Jackie could and did find that funny. Served the little tart right working for her ass of an ex-husband.  
  
"I think you just wanted Tiffany to go and play so you could be captured by my beauty." Jackie said to Hyde when she left the room.  
  
He smiled inward as he opened his bag of chips  
  
"I'm almost done fixing your little gadget."  
  
"Steven, it's not a little gadget it's a mini facial machine! They don't make that model anymore and I can't get my hands on another one."  
  
"More candles? How many does a house need?"  
  
"Plenty. And they're for the cottage, smarty." She stuck out her tongue at him. She loved putting all of her feminine touches on their country home.  
  
"I love you, Jackie." He wasn't afraid to say it anymore.  
  
She kissed him on the lips, "I love you, too. Now go back and fix my machine, I wanted to use it tonight, it makes my face as soft as a baby's bottom!"  
  
"I never understood why a woman would want her face to be as soft as a babies ass." Hyde quietly replied.  
  
"Never mind, you don't understand women stuff." She put the grocery bags in the nook and grabbed the remaining of her shopping bags.  
  
"I understand you're all weird." Hyde joked. He was blissful to have the great woman known as Jackie in his life.  
  
MO Baby X  
  
Eric and Donna sat in a café a block from the hospital. They didn't know what to say to each other. He stirred his coffee and she cut the top off her blueberry muffin. They had their first contact with the little girl who was eventually going to be their daughter. They had a meeting with Eric's counselor, the person whose idea it was to place the addicted babies with former users, and various doctors and nurses. They had to wear sanitary coverings and surgical masks. She was very small and if you were able to hold her she'd fit in the palm of your hand. They were allowed to put their surgical gloved hands in the small circular openings of the incubator and were shown how touch her positively. They were going to be foster parents until the official paperwork could be drawn up for them to be Baby X's adoptive parents. They were given papers, manuals, and books to read. Eric had more pressure on him when the other person who was to take part in this same program relapsed for the fifth time because he didn't have the support structure that Eric had. He broke the silence first.  
  
"You know what pisses me off?" Eric said  
  
"What?" Donna asked  
  
"The card on the incubator said 'Baby X'-no one thought to give her a name and I think it's disgusting." Eric thought someone on the hospital staff would have sought to give her something so basic as a NAME.  
  
"Megan." Donna didn't know where it came from; it just came out of her mouth.  
  
"Megan Forman," Eric smiled, "I like that."  
  
She was the most fragile being the both of them had ever seen. Her birth Mother not only did the traditional snort and blow but also freebased and if that weren't enough in the final month she thought shooting up heroin would be a good idea. The Father was a dealer in Chicago and wound up with five bullets in his back. It was a miracle that the baby even survived. The Mother OD'd soon after the baby's birth. They seemed to talk in buzzwords before they even could see the baby. The withdrawals, the sensitivity to sound and light, left side of the brain motor skills meant mentally delayed but not necessarily retarded, trouble with the sucking reflex which was common with addicted babies, serious asthma attacks that in the future could be taken care of, and rage. She could also have other medical problems down the line which were too early to diagnose and there was no sense worrying about what they didn't know when there was plenty of things to be concerned about that they already knew. The social worker was going to go through their apartment as "part of the process" it still felt like a violation, especially if an ultra conservative type was chosen who would look for any little thing that wasn't sanitized and conformed to someone else's norm. They had nothing in their apartment that a social worker could even deem inappropriate still she asked Eric the night before if he had any of those magazines hidden that he better throw them away. He said he didn't have them anymore, but all guys had a stash of dirty magazines somewhere. Jackie found Hyde's in the wall safe of their cottage and she knew her Dad had his pile, too. She was tired of carrying the feminist torch; sometimes it was best to let the men simply be men. Besides there was a great deal of male bashing going on over the last few decades that Donna did not agree with. Not all men were vermin. Eric only needed a few minor what she called "tweaks" over the years, he wasn't intrinsically bad.  
  
"I think we should tell our parents."  
  
"But we aren't parents-yet." Eric cautioned  
  
"They'll understand, I think they'd be angry at us if we kept it from them, no matter our reasons."  
  
It was then that Donna felt her youth slip away, she was never one to care about her age and she loved Eric very much but being a Mother to drug addicted baby with health problems was going to be the most difficult task she was ever going to encounter. She thought of almost leaving Eric again when she needed time to think about being a Mother to one of Jackie's twins. Who was to say she wouldn't leave Eric and the baby in the middle of the night? She pushed Eric to stay on course, but it was her who needed the pushing herself. She wouldn't leave. It was just a nervous thought. She didn't want to be labeled as Eric's wife (even if he didn't do that anymore, others would and did) or Megan's mom (and they would).  
  
"Donna, are you okay?" Eric asked sensing something.  
  
"I'm fine, just tired. " How could she look at that sweet face of her Husband and tell him he deserved a better woman for a wife.  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Eric, let's go home, I want to read over some of these things and then I want to take a long hot bath."  
  
They were becoming their parents and it scared her. It frightened her a great deal. Jackie handled parenthood well. She might have wanted Tiffany to be a Mini-me but her daughter had other independent ideas. She didn't mind taking care of twin infants. Jackie would never run, would never consider running. Christ, maybe Jackie was the genius! Donna didn't mean to selfishly think as the baby fought to live another day in the hospital that if the baby did pass and they did grieve, it would almost be a relief. She liked to travel. She couldn't do that as often if she had to be a stay at home Mom and Eric knew something was up. She tried faking it with tiredness, which actually was only a half-lie because she was tired. If she ran away she'd never regain Eric's trust, he'd go on without her especially if he had a baby to raise. Infact, it'd be that baby that would keep him from being a wreck. She wasn't going to leave. It was thinking about leaving that frightened her, it was her age that was limiting her, and it was seeing Jackie and Hyde be so goddamn flawless.  
  
"Okay. Do you want to talk about anything?" Eric asked, he was more talkative than most guys.  
  
"I'm fine," She took the check from his hands, "This one's on me."  
  
He looked at her mute. 'Donna wants to run. Yet she told me this morning not to speak to her about forgetting the plan to adopt.'  
  
'If she goes, I'll be a single parent.'  
  
"Er-"  
  
"You don't have to say anything, Donna. Listen, if you plan on leaving can you do it AFTER the papers are signed? That way I'll be a Father and you'll have your freedom." He said without raising his voice, almost surprised when she opened the car door and didn't tell him to go 'F' himself and hail a cab.  
  
"Eric, I'm not leaving, but I did think about it. I don't want to have an unnecessary argument with you."  
  
"How does one think about leaving when they're in the process of finally having a child in their lives? How does one think about leaving after spending all that time in the hospital? That's a very cold side of you, Donna, but you're right let's not have this unnecessary argument. After all you told me to not speak for you today and correct me if I'm wrong but didn't you tell me not ten minutes ago we should tell our parents about our plans? But hell, if you can even think about running, it tells me you are just saying and doing things just for me. If you want 'the out' you better tell me now, Donna-but I'm adopting this child with or without you." This was his last chance to be a Father and he wasn't going to let anyone stop that from happening. Even his wife. He couldn't reject that tiny infant in the hospital who was already rejected by her blood parents. He just couldn't. No matter what the cost to his marriage.  
  
NYC  
  
Jackie read an article in a magazine while Tiffany was in the dentist that asked the question was ending up with your high school/college sweetheart normal? Technically, Steven wasn't her high school sweetheart. Michael was. For most of the time she was in high school anyway. Then they were separated for many years and she was in and out of Kelso and then of course: The Brad Factor. Her mind shifted to Donna and Eric they were together before they even together. Jackie didn't know if that was a good or bad thing. Only a small section of the population could qualify to be married to the person they knew infinity.  
  
"Steven," Jackie called from their office, she had just put the babies down again and wanted to check her email.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Did you hear from Donna or Eric lately?"  
  
"No, why?"  
  
"I don't know. There's no email from Donna-and we talk more than you and Eric."  
  
"I'm sure they're fine, Jackie. I fixed your little machine."  
  
"Thanks, honey. "  
  
"You know you could always call Donna if you are concerned." He advised.  
  
This wasn't like Donna, she always took the time to send her a quick email and they talked on telephone at least once a week. If she didn't have two infants she'd get on the plane and give Donna and Eric a surprise visit, but she couldn't do that now. Maybe it was always like Donna to give her the shaft.  
  
~Jackie's flashback~  
  
With her parents leaving her alone in the big house again. Jackie was excited to have a slumber party. She invited her cheerleading friends and Donna. Who might have been a fish out of water, but she said when she saw Jackie in the hall that she'd stop by. Because she needed "a break" from Eric whatever that meant, because although Jackie couldn't admit it to anyone yet. He was a better boyfriend to Donna than the cheating Michael was to her. Sometimes she didn't get Donna at all. Sure, Eric wasn't much to look at and was one of those A-V geeks in Jackie's opinion but he was nice to his girlfriend and he didn't cheat on her. Jackie thought Donna read too much MS and not enough Cosmopolitan. It wouldn't have killed her to dress a little more feminine and wear some real make up. Jackie feigned interest when they all showed up in one big swoop. There was the usual screaming and cackling around the large living room floor. The giggling getting on her nerves. She thought it was stupid to have dreams of marrying Donny or Leif as the popcorn, pretzels, and chips littered the Burkhart floor, Jackie didn't care she didn't have to clean it up. When the girls put on a horror movie Jackie snuck upstairs to her room and dialed Donna's number. Her Father answered.  
  
"Hello, Mr. Pinciotti. Is Donna there?"  
  
"No, she's not, may I take a message?"  
  
"No, thanks, bye." Jackie hung up.  
  
Sometimes Jackie did not get Donna at all.  
  
~End flashback~  
  
MO  
  
Eric couldn't go in the apartment with her after all it was just a "useless argument". He parked the car and just walked away, he couldn't remember if she called after him or not. He didn't hear her. Or maybe in one rare instance Eric was not listening for Donna. She was always this unpredictable force of nature. What pulled at her to say and act so contradictory? He was done chasing her. Done. If he walked back to that apartment and she was gone, that was it. Maybe he was testing to her to see if she wanted to leave but yet somehow he was supposed to pick up the telephone and tell his parents that they are adopting a baby? Man what drugs was she on? Even at his worst he never thought that warped. How could she even think about leaving? Didn't thinking mean one night she would just bail? Did she think he would let her hurt his baby? Okay, the baby wasn't his yet. She f***ing agreed to this when he brought up at the fourth of July when his parents were having their little party. Did she know what she wanted? The stupid high school promise, damn, be careful what you wish for it could come true. Did she want their lives to be more exciting? Who exactly lived these exciting lives? Everyone was boring to some extent. What was Donna looking for? He wanted a family with her for as long as he could remember and if she was going to bail as soon as it was starting to happen. Let her bail. But he was going to be that little girl's Father. She was right when she said he would probably accept Tiffany if Jackie just dropped her off at the door. In fantasy speak he would. He would never do that to Hyde. He didn't realize how far he walked when he realized he was two miles from the Arch. If he knew then how Jackie turned out in 2001 he would have pursued her instead. Donna was an on going challenge. They were a complete yin and yang that seemed to mesh with each other perfectly. She inspired him to get a spine where Red was concerned and to stand up to his domineering Father. He gave her consistency in a world that wasn't with her constant fighting and trend-hopping parents. Eric didn't know whether to turn around and go back or to grab something to drink. She bailed on him when he was in rehab, but he was a jerk so he couldn't fault her for that one too much. Their first marriage was a joke and this one was fairing no better. Sure they could have some great sex, but god for someone you've known since like FOREVER you'd think there'd be no angst. No more problems. It wasn't going to be easy raising a baby with all these health problems, but they could do it. He knew something was up with her at the café when she was so silent. She was probably thinking of ways to leave her lover. The only thing that didn't make him crawl and die was knowing there was a sweet baby in the hospital counting on someone's love. He didn't envision being a single parent. That baby deserved two loving parents. However, they could survive quite nicely if she left. But if she left that was it. He wasn't going to chase her and there'd be no reunion. He would leave her cold the way Jackie got rid of Kelso. Eric decided to skip the drink, he couldn't have a beer so why bother? But there was a small movie theatre down the street and they were showing some old Western from the 1960's and whatever was waiting for him back home the problem or the solution he would face it after the movie. It wasn't going anywhere. Imagine that it was Steven Hyde who had the perfect family after all. Not that Eric didn't want Hyde to be happy; he just thought that he and Donna were supposed to be happier. Yes, he knew it was juvenile, yes, he knew it was petty, and yes, he knew that it was quite frankly stupid, but he and Donna were supposed to be the disgustingly happy couple that pissed off their friends in a good-natured way because they were so in love. Was it because Eric thought as he sat in the back row not wanting to be bothered by anybody in the theatre, was it because the baby wasn't perfect? Was it because Donna couldn't handle being a Mother to a baby who was going to need more care than the average child? Was it some of her feminist crap that was giving Donna permission to run? 'Well,' Eric thought, 'Let her run. But I'm not running after her. Not anymore.'  
  
NYC  
  
Perfect is in the eye of the Beholder  
  
Jackie did her facial but she wasn't going to get the best results because the slight tears were sticking to her face. She just assumed Steven would stay in New York but as soon as the phone rang during supper for a band he produced a few years ago wanted his services for their second album to be recorded in of all places India she almost had a fit at the table but wanted to set a good example for Tiffany. It's not that she didn't expect that either one of them would travel here and there for their careers but India! She had three children to worry about. It's not like they needed the money and he could have denied his services and really what did a record producer actually do that he had to be the one to leave the kids and her to go all the way to India?! A quick flight to Los Angeles was one thing but India. She didn't fight with him she wanted to be over the bridge where her and Steven fought. She just calmly walked into the master bathroom and locked the door shut. Now it was an hour later and she calmly opened the door as she saw her Husband pack his suitcase.  
  
"Steven, why do you have to go? Can't you recommend another producer?" Jackie wasted no time. She wanted him to stay.  
  
"Jackie, producing records is what I do. And you didn't give me the chance to tell you how MUCH I'll miss YOU and the kids."  
  
"I don't want you to go." She put her hands on his shoulders to stop him from folding his shirts.  
  
"I'm sorry, honey, you act like I'm doing this to intentionally hurt you, I'm not. I'll phone you everyday and I'll be able to send you emails."  
  
She wrapped her arms around him tight, "Okay, you go, but don't you tell me that I have to like it, Steven, because I don't."  
  
He kissed her head it smelled like roses. "I don't like it, either. But if you got the phone call I wouldn't stop you from going."  
  
"Yeah, but I wouldn't be going to India. It's so far away, Steven. The babies are going to know you are gone. They can pick up on that you know. Tiffany is going to miss you, too."  
  
"Jackie we're all going to miss each other, I think we covered that."  
  
She sighed, "Okay. I don't want us to spend this time fighting when we can spend it in other, more productive ways."  
  
He kissed her on the lips, "I'll check on the babies make sure they're sleeping and you tuck Tiffany in."  
  
Jackie looked at the clock it was still a little early for Tiffany to be going to bed, but she'd stay in her room and play with her toys.  
  
"Okay. This will be your bon voyage party, but I cannot wait to give you welcome home party."  
  
"Me too. I love you Jackie and you should know that I would never leave you on purpose."  
  
"I know that, Steven."  
  
He held her hand; "I want to spend all night making love to you."  
  
She smiled but in heart of hearts knew she was never going to be one of those wives who loved it when her husband was away. It was different with that idiot Brad. This was Steven Hyde the love of her life. She never thought of his traveling this far for his job. She read in one of his music magazines that sometimes bands were fussy and they spent years on one album and although you wouldn't stay "on location" that long you were still supposed to fly in at a moments notice if the band needed you. Donna and Eric were lucky that they didn't have this problem. Donna didn't have to worry about Eric flying all over the world on business and Eric didn't have to worry about Donna traipsing the globe all over because she could do all her writing on her home computer in St. Louis. Damn, those perfect Forman's.  
  
MO  
  
Eric was happy to put the key in the lock there really is no place like home. He really had no interest in the movie and thought of getting up twice to come back home but he figured he better give Donna her space. He was tired and all he wanted to was put on his Star Wars t-shirt and go to bed.  
  
"Donna, I'm home," The room had an eerie silence over it, it was like standing in an empty stadium hours before kick off, "Donna---"  
  
Eric checked all the rooms she wasn't in any of them. There was no note on the refrigerator or anywhere else that he might see it. F***. She bailed. He gave her the opportunity and she literally ran with it. He backtracked to their bedroom closet and opened the door, her suitcases were still here, and her personal effects were also still present. Was she that upset that she only left with the clothes on her back and her wallet? 'but quick' Eric thought smartly, 'let me call my parents with the happy news'. If this were even a month ago he would have thrown himself in a ball on the sofa and cried for days, praying for the strength to not go near drugs. He had to be strong for the baby. The baby Megan that Donna had named as she was having doubts. Her contradictory behavior made him sick. He didn't know what to do as he noticed all the literature they were given was in a neat untouched pile on the counter. At least that was a clue that she came home. There was no sign that she even took her long hot bath. He kept thinking he was in a nightmare but no it was all too real for him. All too typically Donna. Oh to be high and in a daze. Eric wasn't going to do it, he couldn't, not that he didn't feel the itch to score some Coke. The phone rang and Eric thought defiantly 'I'm not going to answer it, let her have her f***ing space' when the voice on the answering machine said they were from the hospital he ran to the phone and picked up the receiver. The baby had a seizure and they wanted him to come to the hospital to be with her and to help calm her down. It was part of the bonding and therapy process. It was as if the thought of Donna exited his skull and was never there to begin with. He ran to his car and sped away to the hospital. His little girl needed him. If gaining a child meant his marriage to Donna was over than so be it. It broke his heart but there was an innocent child in her tiny incubator clinging for dear life that too broke his heart. All of a sudden it seemed as if every car in the city of St. Louis had to be on the road at the same time as him.  
  
"Damn," Eric slammed his hands on the steering wheel and beeped the horn out of frustration; the guy in front of him gave him the middle finger, "Screw you, man!"  
  
While Eric was in the small traffic jam he silently prayed that God or whoever, he wasn't one for religion but hoped that baby Megan would be all right. There was a risk with drug addicted babies that they wouldn't make it, that their little bodies would give up the fight to live. He didn't pray to see Donna again; he prayed that the baby would make it. She was too precious to die. It pulled at his heart to even think it-Donna did not matter. Not this time. 


	11. Full Circle

Chapter 11 Full Circle  
  
(same day as the end of Chapter 10)  
  
MO  
  
Eric was taken aback when he saw Donna comforting their baby. This moment was not about them so he didn't think it best to talk about their marriage through surgical masks and with half of the hospital staff present. The doctor told them that she was going to be all right and there was no permanent damage other than what they normally expected with a drug- addicted baby. The nurses liked to call Megan "The Little Fighter", Because they saw a great deal of cases like hers where the baby's hearts gave out after a week or less after birth. When they were in the elevator after the session an hour later they were both so tired that they didn't want to say anything that would upset the other one. Donna thought Eric would have been a little happier to have seen her at the hospital, but he wasn't. She couldn't blame him. He thought she up and left him and considering what they fought about at the café she knew she hurt him.  
  
"Since, we're coming here tomorrow, it makes sense to only take one car back." Donna figured they could take a taxi tomorrow.  
  
"Fine. Whose car?" He didn't want to fight with her.  
  
They settled on taking his car back, Donna couldn't let this rest, the hospital staff and everyone else connected to their file would certainly know if they weren't the same happily married couple that they met. That's the kind of ammo social workers love to look for.  
  
"Eric, you thought I ran off, didn't you? I'm sorry. I was getting ready for bed when the hospital called me and I forgot to leave you a note and because I couldn't call you from the ward the nurses assured me they'd contact you."  
  
"Yes, I thought you left, I'm always the one to decipher your contradictory attitude."  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
"Is that all you can say?"  
  
"What do you want me to say?"  
  
"I want you to promise me you won't do what your Mother did to you and your Dad. Leaving me would be terrible enough, but don't leave our child."  
  
That's what he was worried about. Her turning into Midge. She couldn't be too angry with him. She often thought about that herself. When it related to matters of the heart, her instinct was always to run from the trouble rather than to face it head on. He was going to hold onto his disappointment and anger for quite sometime. Now that she would allow herself to get angry over.  
  
"I'm not going to leave you NOR our baby, Eric. It's up to you to believe me."  
  
He nodded, "Did you give thought to what we discussed yesterday?" He just remembered it himself.  
  
"Yes, we'll have to tell the social worker as soon as we see him or her." She thought it was a good idea this apartment was just going to be too small to raise a child in not to mention she didn't want their babies needs to be lost in a metro cities red tape.  
  
"I'm surprised you agreed to it," Eric sighed stretching his hands on the steering wheel, "You don't have a problem with going full circle?"  
  
"No, I don't." They didn't speak anymore for the rest of the night; they just arrived home and went to bed angry at each other.  
  
End of August  
  
"Finally! Donna where in the Hell have you been?" Jackie seemed to scream into the phone.  
  
"Busy," Donna watched Eric as he tried putting the crib together, they only were going to have dismantle it, but he wanted to practice so that way when it came time to really assemble it he would know what he was doing. "And yourself?"  
  
"Busy with two babies!"  
  
"See? " Donna cupped the mouthpiece, "Eric, do you know what you're doing?"  
  
"How come the instructions are only in Spanish?"  
  
"What's Eric doing?"  
  
"Trying to put together a crib."  
  
"Crib?! Oh! So you two are definitely adopting a baby then?"  
  
"Sort-of."  
  
Jackie gave a confused look even though Donna couldn't see her over the telephone.  
  
"I'll explain it later. How's Hyde?"  
  
"Steven's not here, he's in India."  
  
"India? Why is he over there?" Eric looked up and part of the crib that was he thought he put together properly fell over.  
  
"What was that noise?"  
  
"Eric not reading the instructions."  
  
"They're in Spanish, Donna." He replied thinking 'this is a two person job and she's gabbing on the phone'.  
  
"Steven's producing a record in India. He's coming home in a few weeks. I miss him so much."  
  
"Oh, I thought that went out in the sixties with the Beatles," Donna gave Eric the phone to talk to Jackie while she looked for the English instructions for putting the crib together.  
  
"Hi, Jackie. How are the kids?" Eric asked "They're fine, Eric. Where'd Donna go?"  
  
"To see how difficult it is to put a crib together by oneself with instructions written only in Spanish."  
  
"What does sort-of adopting a baby mean? That's how Donna explained it to me." Jackie was like the tabloids, she had to know plus she was concerned.  
  
"It means we're not going through a traditional adoption agency. We're taking part in a program that I was recommended for in rehab that puts a drug addicted baby in with a parent or parents who were former users themselves."  
  
"Oh. Why couldn't Donna tell me that like you just did?" Jackie sighed  
  
"I don't know. When is Hyde coming back home?" Eric asked  
  
He wanted to ask why couldn't Hyde just not accept this producing assignment but he thought it best not to get involved in their marriage.  
  
"In a few weeks, why?"  
  
"We are interested in buying back the house in Point Place."  
  
Eric looked over at Donna thinking she was going to flinch and really didn't want to go back and was going to send him bodily signals, but instead she found the English instructions stuck to one of the foam pieces that the crib came packed in which made Eric wonder if she heard him speak at all.  
  
"I'm sure you guys can move in at anytime. Steven's been paying the mortgage---"  
  
"I know. I'll pay him back." It was the least he could do, he thought. He could never fully make it up to Hyde for all that he did to him just for the sake of the drug.  
  
"Eric, are you going to get off the phone to help me put together this crib?"  
  
'Huh? I don't get women'  
  
"Tell Donna bye and when I hear from Steven tonight I'll tell him about the house, okay? See you, Eric." Maybe Eric and Donna weren't so perfect after all, Jackie thought as she hung up the telephone. She couldn't figure them out one minute they were the lovey-dovey can't stop kissing each other in public couple and the next minute they were angst ridden and strained as if they were frustrated teenagers again couple.  
  
Next day  
  
When She Cries  
  
Eric was thankful as he and Donna went to their usual booth in that same café a block from the hospital, he could've shared his thoughts with his wife but chose not to. While doing his own independent research on the internet he found that there was a quite a movement to put drug addicted babies in loving, caring, and secure homes and there were couples that got attached to their babies only to have them pulled away by the red tape pushers who work in any building labeled 'Child Services' but it was the brainchild of a man in Indiana, a man who lost his job, spouse, and material possessions for his drug habit that after years of rebuilding his life again and became an active member of his community thought during his own support group meeting about creating a network that puts the addicted baby in homes of users that like him fit the profile of an addict who went through their expected relapse period and have shown signs of never taking drugs again. Eric's profile was someone who would look at his baby and wouldn't even want to take legal cough syrup let alone Coke because of the babies pain mirroring his pain but in a different way was good for both the infant and the parent who was the addict. It also eliminated the 'Child Services' brigade, except for the obligatory social worker who was more of an observer than someone who would take the baby away for no reason. They only dealt with the babies that had no next of kin. It was important that no one ruin the lives of the new baby and the new parents by having some long lost aunt knock on the door at three in the morning demanding the child. Eric was grateful not having to worry about waiting lists (although technically, he's been on a child waiting list since he graduated from the University of Wisconsin.) or the system. They couldn't hold her as a proper baby yet due to the low birth weight, but she gained half a pound, and he was grateful for that. When Megan cried it tore his heart in half, he knew those cries. Those shrieks. It was the infant version of what grown up addicts did. She wanted the drug, not the drug per se, but the feeling from it, every single time he had the choice when he shoved it up his nose. She did not. She had no say when her Mother satisfied her habit at her expense. She was worse than some as it was determined she was going to be paralyzed from the waist down but not as worse as others who needed coffins and headstones instead of bottles and teddy bears.  
  
"She's such a sweet baby." Eric was almost surprised to hear Donna say that, because it seemed to him that his wife wanted out of this whole thing.  
  
He touched her hand, it was warm, "Yes, she is." He was afraid of saying the wrong thing to Donna that it might set her off on a tangent.  
  
Kitty was over the moon and of course concerned about the baby's health when he told his Mother over the phone this morning, even Red was proud of his son for taking on such a grown up task. Of course he wouldn't say it in the emotional way Kitty had, but it was still a rare compliment from Red Forman. Kitty was ecstatic that Eric wanted the house to raise his family in and already told him that as soon as they move in with the baby Kitty and Red were flying out to Point Place to see them. Eric still didn't know if Donna was okay with the moving back to Wisconsin issue. She could write anywhere, but that wasn't the point, he could picture her saying when he was on the sofa trying to watch Star Wars.  
  
"After we eat, do you want to go to the mall to buy some baby clothes?"  
  
'Okay, who are you and what have you done to the real Donna?!'  
  
"Sure. How do we know what size to get?"  
  
Donna laughed as she finished her cheesecake, "Always buy up one size they'll grow into it anyway."  
  
"Who told you that?"  
  
"Jackie."  
  
"I swear, when did she become the genius of our group?"  
  
"I've asked myself that very thing."  
  
Eric sighed, it was now or never, and he was always a glutton for punishment. He was ready for the worst.  
  
"Donna, are you happy?" There. He asked it. He needed to know.  
  
"Yes, Eric, I know I've been tense lately, but I never said I was unhappy."  
  
'Then why did you want to run, not once but twice?' he figured it was better to be satisfied with her reply rather than to start an argument. Donna could've used some therapy sessions herself, he thought.  
  
"You know what I think we should do?"  
  
"What?" She noticed the gleam in his eyes  
  
"I think we should both go to different stores and see what we each buy for Megan."  
  
"Is this a contest?"  
  
"No, just something fun so all of her clothes don't look the same."  
  
"Eric,"  
  
"What?" He grabbed the check before she could. That was her little contest.  
  
"Don't buy-"  
  
"Don't buy what?" He knew exactly what she was referring to but he wasn't going to give her the satisfaction of saying it out loud.  
  
"I know what you're up to, Forman."  
  
"Good. And there's to be no peeking in the car until we get home."  
  
"Are you sure this isn't a contest?" She replied, ready for the task. If she took all the moments too seriously she would lose her mind. It was nice to have fun every now and again.  
  
"Hi, Steven. We aren't going to get cut off again, are we?" Jackie asked, it was after five in the morning where he was, and it was almost eight pm in New York City.  
  
"No, honey. How are the kids?"  
  
"The twins are fine and Tiffany is okay, she misses you though, just like I do."  
  
"I miss all of you, too, especially you." He seemed to whisper  
  
"When are you coming home?" she asked that every night they talked on the phone and in any sparse email  
  
"Looks like it'll be around the beginning of September."  
  
"September?" Jackie twisted her face  
  
"Stop twisting your face, Jackie, September starts in a few days."  
  
"How did you know I was twisting my face?"  
  
"Because I know you.-"  
  
"I talked to Donna and Eric today and guess what? They're adopting a baby!"  
  
"Really? That's cool." And about time, he never understood why they delayed things.  
  
"And Eric wants to buy his old house."  
  
"Fine by me, I don't live there." He just purchased it for Kitty's sake so it would remain in the family and not go to strangers.  
  
"I knew you'd say that, Eric says he'll pay you back."  
  
"Jackie, that's all fine and nice, but I don't want to spend all day talking about Forman and Donna when I'd rather spend what short time I have on the phone talking to you."  
  
"Aww, you're so sweet, Steven. I love you so much."  
  
"I love you too, Jackie. Kiss the kids for me. I'll talk to you tomorrow."  
  
"Bye, baby." She hated when their too short calls ended she already had his homecoming party planned, the emphasis on the word homecoming.  
  
Donna put the lights on in the parlor after they got home from shopping. It was actually fun buying stuff for the baby. Not only did she buy clothes she also had to buy a Baby's journal for Mom and a cloth rattle, she didn't think she'd be safe with the traditional plastic ones.  
  
"Let's see the clothes you picked, Big Red" Eric smiled sitting on the sofa, guarding his bags on the floor  
  
Donna happily rolled her eyes, "Why do I have a feeling you bought clothes that are way too big for this baby?"  
  
"We're not on me now, we're on you."  
  
Donna opened her bag and took out the typical clothes you'd buy for an infant under one year old, not to mention one that was very small, going up a size to ensure she could wear the clothes a little longer than normal. Various one pieces in pastel colors, top and short sets, little socks, and booties. She was going to have to try to hold back her laughter when Eric opened up his bag and showed his selections.  
  
"I got all that boring stuff, too, BUT I also bought---"  
  
It was a cute little ruffled pink dress with a little pink bow in the center, it screamed baby girl and that's why Donna knew Eric picked it out. His heart was in the correct place.  
  
"Eric, she can't wear that until she's like two! Probably three with the size you got!"  
  
"I can see you want to make fun of me."  
  
"Yeah, I do."  
  
"But did you not hear what I said; I got all those boring infant clothes, too. I thought the idea here was also to have some fun. Besides, she'll grow into it. Eventually. I suppose you think these overalls are too big as well?"  
  
"No, they look fine. What's in that other bag?"  
  
"What other bag?"  
  
"The one you're trying to hide under the sofa with your foot."  
  
Eric grabbed it and ran to the other side of the room. "You can't see! You'll just make fun of it. Listen, do you hear the sound of the fax machine?"  
  
"No," she inched closer, "But-" She waited for the right moment to take the bag off him and run into the kitchen with it.  
  
"Donna, don't laugh."  
  
"Don't laugh! This is the funniest thing I have ever seen, Eric! She won't be able to fit into this until she's seven!" Not to mention the fact that she knew he was going to buy something just like this. It was a black hooded sweatshirt with the face of Darth Vader on it.  
  
"Actually, I bought it for a reason smarty pants."  
  
"I'm sure you did," Donna couldn't stop laughing, she kissed him on the cheek before collecting all the baby clothes she bought to put them back in the shopping bags until they needed them. "Don't ever change, Eric. I think I'm going to take a shower before bed-" She stopped the sentence to indicate that it was an open invitation to join her.  
  
"Is that supposed to tempt me?" He started putting the clothes he bought away when he heard the sound of the shower go on, "Damn!" It got him every time. She seemed happy, Eric just hope that it stayed that way.  
  
September  
  
Ordinary Tuesday  
  
Eric went to turn on the radio but Donna stopped him as they drove to the hospital in silence to have their morning visit with Megan. She was healthy as she could be under the circumstances and they couldn't wait to see her. It was a nice sunny day and it felt like it was still summer. Since Eric was management (how he sometimes loathed the term) he only had to jump through one corporate hoop to be able to do these morning visits, of course, Eric would have done it anyway, even if he were the janitor.  
  
"Donna, when do you think we'll be able to hold our little girl?" He asked  
  
"Eric, you know the answer to that. When she's well enough and the proper weight to be out of her incubator."  
  
"I know, but I wish it could be today."  
  
"Me too, but it won't. She has a long way to go."  
  
"I wonder if we're making a difference," Eric sighed, "Health wise, I mean."  
  
"Of course, we are. Not just because the doctors and nurses told us so, but you can tell she responds to us. Is it your turn to be down today?"  
  
"No. I'm not down, " Eric said as he parked the car in the garage, "I just wonder if she knows we're here?"  
  
"Eric, in her own way, she knows."  
  
"Sh**, my watch just gave out, what time is it, Donna?"  
  
"Eight forty-five." She replied glancing at hers.  
  
Frightened  
  
Jackie was never so scared in all her life, there was no one here to watch the babies, and she could leave them just for a few minutes with their bottles while she looked for Tiffany. If her little girl died she'd never forgive herself. She needed the calm headedness of her Husband to prevail. He was supposed to be home NOW but two days ago he called her and said he had to do "a few quick things" and would come home today.  
  
"What am I going to do?" She cried, she couldn't call Donna and Eric, they were in St. Louis and what could they do?  
  
There was a knock on the door and Jackie ran to answer it, "Oh, hello, Mrs. Andrews. I don't feel like talking right now. I have to find Tiffany. Will you baby-sit the twins, please?"  
  
"Jackie, it's not wise to go out there."  
  
"Well, I'm going out to find my daughter anyway!" Jackie bolted and for the first time since she's lived here actually took the stairs on purpose and ran to the lobby, where she could see a small crowd outside the doorway of her private apartment complex.  
  
"James, have you seen Tiffany?" Please god. Please have him say she's in the back office playing checkers and eating candy.  
  
"No, Mrs. Hyde," He politely grabbed her arm when she tried to open the door, "I think you should stay inside."  
  
"No! I have to find my baby." Jackie opened the door and pushed through the crowd and called Tiffany's name.  
  
She ran up the block and ignored all of the sounds, which was hard to do even on a normal day.  
  
"Tiffany," She'd never forgive herself. Never. If something happened to her sweet little tomboy girl.  
  
"Mommy?"  
  
"Tiffany, where are you, sweetie? Keep talking so I can walk to you."  
  
"I'm by the green car,"  
  
Jackie was never so happy to see another living soul in all of her life. "My baby! You're all right!" She picked her up and gave her the biggest embrace.  
  
'What in the f*** was that noise?'  
  
"Another one?" She heard someone say in the crowd  
  
Jackie carried her daughter which was no easy task because she was getting bigger by the minute when James saw them come up the walk he held the door open for them. He smiled to see her in one piece. He handed her a lollipop.  
  
"Thank you." She said  
  
"I just want to hug you all day!" Jackie said as they took the steps up to the apartment. She suddenly didn't want to ride in the elevator.  
  
"Mommy, what happened?"  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I was on the subway,"  
  
"By YOURSELF?" Damn him.  
  
"Yeah. And when I got off people started yelling and saying stuff."  
  
"What stuff?"  
  
"About a bomb."  
  
"A bomb?"  
  
Jackie was having trouble piecing this all together. She still didn't know all of what happened.  
  
"Wait a minute, I thought you weren't coming home until three?" Jackie asked when she opened the door, as Mrs. Andrews didn't lock it.  
  
"I was bored, so Dad put me on the subway."  
  
"Oh, there you are, Tiffany! We all wondered where you went."  
  
"Hi, Mrs. Andrews."  
  
"Jackie, would you like me to watch the babies while you make some phone calls?"  
  
"Uh, sure." She seemed to go on autopilot.  
  
"Mommy, can I watch TV?"  
  
Jackie didn't realize what she was saying to her daughter when she said 'yes' to her question.  
  
"Sure, in my room."  
  
"Okay." She ran off.  
  
And when the day started it was just an ordinary Tuesday.  
  
10:30AM (NY time)  
  
"Donna, what the f***?" They had the TV on mute. Eric decided work wasn't important today.  
  
"I can't get Jackie on the phone. The lines are dead. Do you think they're all right?"  
  
"I'm sure they are." 'I hope they are'  
  
Steven Hyde lay on his hotel room bed, telephone to his chest, crying. Praying even. Hoping they were okay. Why didn't he leave two days ago when he had the chance? Those things he 'had to do' didn't seem important now. All he wanted to do was see his beautiful wife and kids again.  
  
"Please God, let them be okay."  
  
Author's note-I had reservations about writing the last three pages but one of the nice people who read and reviewed my stories when I emailed her asking if it was an okay real time plotline to put in the story she said it was okay and nothing to worry about. If anyone finds the last three pages truly offensive, I will take them down and replace them. ~Carol 


	12. Home Sweet Home

Chapter 12 Home Sweet Home  
  
(1 day after the end of Chapter 11)  
  
NYC  
  
It was two forty-five in the morning when the telephone rang and Jackie was almost letting her body fall asleep was so anxious to answer the phone that she broke her crystal vase that was on her night table. Please let it be Steven.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Jackie-"  
  
"Steven! I've been going crazy waiting for your call, the phone number you gave me was busy every time I tried phoning."  
  
"Are you and the kids all right?"  
  
"Yeah, they're all sleeping." One of them wasn't, actually.  
  
She would tell him the rest when he came home, she didn't want to do that now as their phone calls were always too short.  
  
"Are you safe where you are?" She never thought to ask it before. It never seemed to matter before. It used to be one of those things you just assumed.  
  
"Other than missing you, I'm fine."  
  
"When are you coming home?"  
  
"The minute I'm allowed to board a plane. Jackie, I was so worried that I'd never hear your voice again." He could admit it to no one other than her.  
  
It scared Jackie of the thought of Steven having to board a plane. She was sure he'd be okay, and she figured it as normal to have these reactions but she was going to think twice before getting on an airplane herself, even the private jet. Then she thought it wasn't fair to Donna and Eric and make them fly out if they didn't want to. How long was the drive from New York City to St. Louis?  
  
"Me too. I love you, Steven."  
  
"Love you, too."  
  
He briefly thought of how he used to loathe Jackie when she was first introduced to the group as Kelso's popular cheerleading girlfriend. Even Donna didn't like her at first but after awhile she just became part of "the gang" and the only regret Hyde had was that they had to be separated for the better part of twenty years only to almost lose each other more times than he could count before they were even allowed to be married. Now he was married to Jackie and the Father of three children. It took a long time for him to even accept happiness. They said their goodbyes and Jackie was about to try and go to sleep but she heard something from outside her bedroom door. She threw on her robe and opened the door to see the light on in Tiffany's room and the crumb trail on the floor of cookies. Jackie softly knocked, as she didn't want to wake the babies or disturb her oldest daughter and opened the door.  
  
"Tiffany, it's after three." She made it a statement. She didn't know whether to shield her daughter or to talk to her like she was a small adult. That was why she didn't want to do anything until Steven came back home.  
  
"I'm not tired." She replied in the same fashion  
  
Jackie sat next to her, "Do you want to sleep with me again?"  
  
"No. Can I play a video game?"  
  
Jackie sighed, "I suppose so. Just don't do it with the sound on."  
  
"Okay. Were you talking on the phone?"  
  
"Yes, that was your Daddy, he'll be coming home very soon."  
  
"You mean Steven?"  
  
'Oh God' "Yes, baby."  
  
"Is my other Daddy dead?"  
  
Jackie was glad she was sitting down on the bed because if she wasn't she was convinced she'd have fainted on the spot.  
  
"I don't know, sweetie," She had her arm around her daughter, who wanted to push away to get to her video tape cartridges, "I called your Grandmother-" and Jackie hated Brad's Mother, "She hasn't heard from him yet."  
  
"Do you want him to be in Heaven?"  
  
"No." If only for her sake. She couldn't believe how much her daughter knew. She wasn't a baby anymore. Brad was an ass****, no doubt about it, but Tiffany loved him in some weird context despite his sometimes- neglectful ways with her.  
  
That was the agreement if one of them found out his whereabouts to call the other one, despite the bad blood between the two women when Jackie first met her years ago when Brad dumped his Martha's Vineyard, matching sweater set, and Town & Country reading fiancée to be with her. Every time Jackie saw her ex-Mother in law she only got berated for how she was raising Tiffany and what a "fool" she was for leaving her son. (!)  
  
"Do you want to play your game?" Jackie wanted to cry softly in her pillows before the babies woke up.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Okay," She kissed her daughter on the forehead, "I love you, sweetie."  
  
"I know." She didn't answer with an "I love you" back which made Jackie feel worse. She knew this was to be expected. She wasn't the only one going through this, but why did it feel like it?  
  
She needed Steven to be back by her side, she couldn't face this alone.  
  
MO  
  
"Guess who I got an email from?"  
  
Eric asked Donna who was trying to take a nap on the sofa. They had just come back from the hospital after spending time with the baby. She was "stable" but to Donna those were just empty words. Eric wasn't the only one who wanted to bring their daughter home. She wished the worst of it was over, but they had many months more to go.  
  
"Who?" She yawned she wanted to sleep for 100 years.  
  
"Jackie."  
  
That perked Donna up; she made herself sit upright, "How is she?" She wondered why she emailed rather than phoned them?  
  
"She and the kids are fine."  
  
"Thank god. Did she hear from Hyde?"  
  
"Yeah, he's okay, too, and he should be coming home by the end of the week."  
  
Eric sat down next to Donna  
  
"I have a feeling he'll never go that far for work again."  
  
"Donna, I think you're right," Now it was on to their own "crises", "You've been quiet since we left Megan, are you okay?"  
  
"I'm all right, Eric. Just very tired."  
  
"You've been tired a lot lately. Are you sure you don't need to see a doctor?" Eric asked worried  
  
"It's stress, Eric, nothing more."  
  
He looked at his watch, "Why don't you take a nap?"  
  
"I was going to-"  
  
He got up so she could lie down, he'd have joined her, but he needed to do some actual work on his computer, which was what he was doing when he received Jackie's email. He stretched out her legs for her and covered her with the blanket that she purchased after college it was a green and blue non-gender specific floral pattern.  
  
"Sleep well, my lady." He kissed her on the lips, anticipating the day that himself, Donna, and their daughter moved from St. Louis to Point Place.  
  
NYC (Undetermined time later)  
  
"Now? Okay. I'll be right down." Jackie hung up the telephone. "Tiffany,"  
  
"What Mommy?" She was on level 20 and didn't want to get up from her spot in the living room.  
  
"I have to go downstairs to pick up my dry cleaning, will you be a good girl and watch the babies for me? They should be almost ready to fall asleep."  
  
She smirked in an "I-don't-wanna" way before replying, "Okay." in a tired voice  
  
"Thanks, baby." She kissed her head  
  
"I'm going to blow up the City." She replied before going back to her game, where the object was to blow up an urban city. The idiot bought that for her. Jackie should have inspected those cartridges before letting her play with them. She took a deep breath, she would have to deal with Tiffany later, and she didn't want to do anything that would result in a temper tantrum. Jackie decided the stairs were better exercise than the elevator. James would usually bring up her dry cleaning, she didn't want any special treatment, and she just wasn't in the mood to walk down multiple flights of stairs just to get her clothes back from the dry cleaner. When she got down to the lobby no one was in sight. Jackie ran her fingers through her hair; she needed to get her highlights done. Where was James? This was NOT the time to go on a coffee break; he was the one who called her for Pete's sake.  
  
"Looking for someone?"  
  
She started to smile before she turned around. "Steven?! Oh, I missed you so much!" they hugged each other for the longest time, grateful to see the other one again.  
  
"Jackie, I missed you, too." They shared a kiss  
  
"Were you my dry cleaning?"  
  
"Yeah. I hope you're not mad. I sent James on a coffee break so I could surprise you in private."  
  
"Mad? No, honey, I'm not."  
  
She helped him with his second suitcase. "I don't remember this suitcase."  
  
"That's because I bought an extra one. Now that I'm here Jackie, are you sure everything is fine, because how could it be?"  
  
"Well, Tiffany-I'd rather we have this talk in our apartment."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Steven, don't be angry with her when you see the video game she's playing. I had no idea until she blurted it out."  
  
"You look so worn out, why don't you take a long hot bath? And I'll talk to Tiffany."  
  
For the first time she let herself take the elevator again. She knew it was a stupid fear, but she felt safer with Steven beside her.  
  
"Thank you so much, I need it." Too bad Donna couldn't be a fly on that wall. So much for the flawless Hyde's.  
  
When they got upstairs Tiffany was done playing her video game as it stalled on her and she got angry and kicked it and the unit got unplugged and went under one of the cream colored love seat's. So she went in the nursery and watched the twins fall asleep with only a faint interest.  
  
"Hello, Tiffany." Hyde said from the doorway. He didn't know if she would come running to him for a big hug or if she would just stay seated in the rocking chair and sulk. She stood up and looked at him.  
  
"Hi." She replied  
  
"I missed you." He hugged her, but she didn't hug him back.  
  
"Can you get my video game? It's under the loveseat."  
  
He figured this was best until he and Jackie talked about things that he really didn't want to talk about, but knew he had to.  
  
"Okay. I got you a present."  
  
"Later-I want to get back to my game."  
  
It mildly hurt him to see her pull away and be distant with him, but he tried not to take it personally. She was only reacting the best way she knew how in an unpredictable sometimes dangerous world.  
  
"Do you want me to play with you?"  
  
"No, I'd rather play by myself."  
  
He kissed her on the head, but she didn't respond.  
  
Jackie didn't flinch when she felt the sponge go down her back. It was great having her husband home.  
  
"Steven--?" She didn't know what to say and figure to let him describe it in his own words  
  
"Did the twins grow or was it my imagination?"  
  
"No, they've grown, you were gone far too long." She meant that as a general statement and not a judgment call.  
  
"I know, never again. Tiffany is so cold-"  
  
"I know, Steven. I wasn't really honest with you when I told you on the phone that we were all okay. She visited her Father on---" If she finished the sentence she'd have started crying again.  
  
"S***. She was in the middle of------?"  
  
"No. She was bored and he put her on the train. But I didn't know that and went outside looking for her, Mrs. Andrews watched the twins. AND I LET HER WATCH TV not realizing what I was letting her see." She cupped her hands in her face and cried.  
  
Steven put his hands on her wet shoulders and kissed her neck, "Ssh. It's not your fault. We'll get through this; we're all together now. Is Brad--- ?"  
  
Even the world's biggest dill hole didn't deserve a death like that and Tiffany didn't need to go through that life experience.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"If he's somehow faking and hiding out somewhere, you know I'll kick his ass."  
  
"I don't think so. Brad might be a lot of things, but to take advantage of a horrible situation like this, having to realize his daughter is confused, you'll be standing in line, Steven, because I'll be kicking his ass first." Jackie took the stopper out of the bathtub. You don't mess with a Mother.  
  
He grabbed one of the big fluffy blue towels off the rack and wrapped Jackie in it like a present. He wanted to make love to her so badly, but he couldn't with his little girl in pain in the other room.  
  
"You know, Jackie, I have an idea. Why don't we drive up to our cottage tonight? Let's get Tiffany out of New York City for awhile, okay?"  
  
Her eyes lit up and she kissed his nose. "That's an excellent idea, Steven."  
  
"We'll tell her together, so hurry up and get dressed." A sentence he'd never thought he'd be uttering. But the family unit had to come first before they as a couple could give into their hearts desires.  
  
"You're telling me to hurry up and get dressed?" Jackie tried to smile; she let Hyde snap her bra closed in the back.  
  
"I know. Very f***ed up."  
  
Jackie put her jeans on and one of Hyde's old rock t-shirts on as Hyde called her into their bedroom.  
  
"Tiffany, your Daddy and I have a surprise for you."  
  
"I don't want my present, I want to play my video game!"  
  
"How would you like to go to our cottage?" Hyde asked  
  
"NO!" She shouted back  
  
"Tiffany, it'll be fun, remember when we were there for Christmas?" Jackie asked on her last nerve, or one of them, at least.  
  
"NO! I don't want to go! You're not my Daddy, Steven." She ran to go back to her video game.  
  
Jackie saw the hurt look in her Husbands eyes, "I'm so sorry, Steven. She didn't mean it. She's hurting."  
  
"Months and months of bonding out the window." He remembered the night they danced on the rooftop and when she sweetly called him "Daddy" for the first time. He let one tear escape down his cheek.  
  
Jackie hugged him tight, "It's okay. She loves you, you have to know that."  
  
"It's been my experience that kids are honest. When Mrs. Forman would kiss me on the cheek I'd smile, when my Mom would hurt me to my core, I'd cry on the inside where no one could hear me. So, I think she means exactly what she says."  
  
"How could she? She's just a little girl." She wiped away his tears with her hand, but she started crying herself.  
  
"A part of me wants to just pick her up, kicking and screaming to the car, but I don't want to be that kind of Father." He sat on the edge of the bed. He never should have accepted that producing assignment.  
  
"You are a great Father. She does love you, just right now she is confused, and she needs to know what happened to Brad."  
  
"What if he is okay, went to Connecticut and told his Mother NOT to call you for some twisted reason. What then?"  
  
"He wouldn't do that. Even Playboy's have morals."  
  
"Don't you stick up for him, Jackie."  
  
"I'm not. I just don't believe he'd be so cold as to be alive and well and NOT contact us. I've been making so many calls and no one has seen him."  
  
Hyde went to his souvenir suitcase, put it on the bed, and opened it up to reveal the contents. The gifts were wrapped but he had to undo them when he got to the airport. Jackie tried not to look at the rest of the contents of the suitcase. She could see the tiredness and disappointment in her Husband's face.  
  
"I'm going to put this in Tiffany's room, while she's playing her video game." It was a Navaratna beaded necklace the garnet, pearl, lapis, crystal, tiger-eye, amethyst, citrine, carnelian, and aventurine that symbolized the nine planets.  
  
"Okay," she wanted to kiss him before he left the room, but it was too late. She went in the nursery to check on the babies.  
  
They were almost too quiet but when Hyde checked on them earlier they did seem to respond to him happily like they did before he left for his trip. Jackie loved the sweet powdery smell of a baby. They were content as they were full from their bottles, didn't need a diaper change yet, and were safe in their warm cribs. Steven was gone an awful long time for someone who just wanted to put Tiffany's necklace on her dresser and come back to Jackie to let her play her video game while she blocked out the reality of the current situation. It was too quiet out there but Jackie just wanted to stay seated in the rocking chair and wait for Steven to come to her. Which he did ten minutes later, carrying a video tape, that was pulled apart as she noticed the strands of tape hanging from the plastic casing.  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"If she didn't hate me before, she hates me now."  
  
"Steven, what are you talking about? I didn't hear you two argue. What's on that tape?"  
  
"You don't want to know. Let's just say she taped the news. And the reason you didn't hear us argue is because all she wants to do is play that stupid video game and talk about destroying the City. I'm going to wind up being the bad guy while your jerk of an ex-husband will get elevated to be a hero in her mind."  
  
Jackie got up and hugged Hyde; she let her hands go up and down his back so he could feel some form of relaxation.  
  
"It looks like I have to keep reminding you that she doesn't hate you. She's just confused and wants to know where her Father is. Although, I'm not thrilled with her playing that video game."  
  
"If we take it off her, she's going to have a tantrum." Hyde said, looking at the sleeping twins, unaware of their family falling apart.  
  
"I agree that we need to get Tiffany out of New York City for awhile," Jackie held Hyde's hand, "We'll work on making her understand tomorrow at breakfast."  
  
"You know another thing I'd never thought I'd say is that I wish your ex- husband would walk through the front door right now." Like Jackie thought it was only for Tiffany's sake. She needed see that jerk alive and well.  
  
"I love you," She held him tight and kissed him on the lips, she knew they weren't going to make love tonight as it didn't seem right with their daughter in pain to satisfy their physical pleasure.  
  
"I love you, too, Jackie. Come on," It was his turn to hold her hand.  
  
"Where are we going?"  
  
"Whether Tiffany likes it or not we are going to sit in the living room and keep her company while she plays her stupid game."  
  
Jackie pretended to be interested in writing checks as Hyde pretended to be interested in reading a vintage rock magazine (article written by Donna Pinciotti-1990) as Tiffany pretended THEY weren't there as she played her video game. Jackie looked at Hyde almost jumping out of her skin when their phone rang.  
  
It was a mix of dread and relief when she went to answer it. 


	13. A Matter Of Part One

Chapter 13 A Matter Of [Part One]  
  
The Hyde family made their way up the pristine white stairs. The elegant black stiletto, the melancholy Mary Jane, and the solid dress boot. The last gasp of September wind at their backs as Jackie opened up the door. She was thankful for the private view. If she had to deal with the pompous and snotty today she was going to lose her composure. At that moment she thought of herself as a sort-of, kind-of, but not really Jackie O. Hyde coughed when they stood in the lobby. He put his arms on Tiffany's shoulders and asked her one question.  
  
"Are you sure you want to?"  
  
They explained it to her the best way they could under the circumstances last night.  
  
"Yeah, Steven." 'So, we're back to that'  
  
Hyde looked up and saw Jackie's mind briefly drift away, he caressed her hand with his and asked her if she wanted to go in.  
  
"Yes." She couldn't let Tiffany go in by herself. Besides, these things were a piece of cake once you got used to them. The levity really didn't work and she knew was just a self-imposed rouse.  
  
They all held hands as they walked down the hall. Hyde thought it was odd that there was no one present to greet them, which suited him just fine. But you'd think just one of the collared would have come out at least to check on the little girl. Jackie's knees buckled as she got closer, she wanted to hold her daughter's hand tighter but she broke free. Hyde reached for her hand, but she rejected it. Just like she had been rejecting him lately ever since he came home from India, ever since forces beyond their control changed lives forever.  
  
"Tiffany," Jackie started to say in a quiet voice, only the words didn't come.  
  
The little girl took one look inside the box, staring for a moment before taking out her play car from her dentists visit out from her coat pocket and pushed it along the edges of the high polished black coffin.  
  
"Tiffany, put that away." Jackie whispered  
  
"Why?" And in one of those you'll-be-laughing-at-it-in-years-time moments it fell on the inside behind the head pillow.  
  
"Steven-"  
  
"You've got to be kidding."  
  
Jackie was afraid her daughter would have a tantrum right then and there if she didn't get her car back.  
  
"Get my car, Steven."  
  
"Oh-all right, but the both of you better turn around."  
  
Steven Hyde could not believe that he had to touch Jackie's dead ex-husband even for a few minor seconds just to get a little toy car that was going to wind up in another child's toy box a few years later. The odd thing that Hyde noticed was that the jerk did seem at peace and he ironically looked approachable. They found out that he was outside on that historical day observing what was going on around him when it started to rain steel and debris which was why he was one of the few lucky ones to be able to have an open casket. Jackie never would have agreed to this if that weren't the case. Her daughter's closure was not going to come at the expense of another nightmare.  
  
"Thanks, Steven." Tiffany said when Hyde gave her back her car.  
  
"Do you want to say goodbye to your Dad?" Jackie asked, almost shedding a tear herself.  
  
Tiffany put her car back in her pocket and fumbled with her green yo-yo and Stormtrooper key chain that were in the other pocket of her formal coat with the Peter Pan collar and small bow. She looked at her Father's non- moving body with the strange face, she never remembered him smiling much and stood on her heels for a second trying to scuff the floor. She turned in a small circle before sitting down on the floor and starting to cry.  
  
"Come here," Hyde scooped her up; she was getting to be past the carrying stage, "Sweetie." She wrapped her little arms around his neck and continued to cry.  
  
Hyde was about to carry her out but she said through her tears that she wanted to be put down. She took the yo-yo out of her pocket and gave it to her Mother before taking Hyde's hand to go back to the car. Jackie didn't know what to do or say.  
  
"I don't know what to say to you, Brad," Jackie began, "You weren't a very good Husband or Father-you weren't even a friend to me. I will say you were too young to die and I hope you loved your daughter, but I'm not really sure you ever did," Jackie started to cry, she wiped her eyes, " She loved you. You didn't deserve your end. No one did. I think Tiffany wants you to have her yo-yo." Jackie knew if she put it where it was visible one of the Worthington's would have taken her daughter's kind gesture and threw it away. She carefully opened up his suit jacket and put it in the inside pocket and buttoned it up again, barely breathing as she did it. "I hope you are a happier person in the next life. I wonder how many children you left behind?" She didn't know where that thought came from but she was sure there had to be one or two he knew about but didn't tell her. "I wish you saw that Steven is a good man, and maybe where you are now you know that. I love him very much. I'll sign the book before I leave. Goodbye, Brad." Jackie quickly touched his folded over hands and turned around on her own heels not looking behind her. She signed the book to represent the Hyde family-Tiffany first (it was only proper), Jackie, and Steven. She took two remembrance cards and placed them in her purse before going outside to rejoin her Husband and daughter. She looked at her gold watch they were going to have to get a move on if they didn't want to cross paths with Brad's family. Jackie was glad to feel the cool air on her face when she opened the door. Hyde was back to carrying Tiffany and he pointed to the fast food place that was down the block. He left the keys on the hood for Jackie to join them as Tiffany wanted Hyde to carry her, through in and out tears, to the restaurant.  
  
"Thanks, Steven." Jackie said stirring her tea with the white plastic swizzle stick.  
  
"For what?" he asked as they watched Tiffany slowly eat one French fry, finding a shell in her body to retreat to that she didn't know she had.  
  
"For getting a table in the back." She didn't need to see the car procession.  
  
"I didn't even think of that. I'm glad my subconscious did."  
  
"What's a sub-con-scious?" Tiffany asked, her little body trying to reject self-imposed walls that were coming around her.  
  
"It's when your mind knows something that you aren't aware of." Jackie explained.  
  
Jackie and Hyde discussed what they called 'the plan' while they were in bed last night was that after they got something to eat that they would ask Tiffany if she wanted to go to their cottage. Tiffany was in a rather progressive school, which the only thing Hyde could find wrong with it was the quarterly expense for the kind of school that every child in America should be able to go to. They had very liberal schedules it was encouraged if the child wanted to observe Mom and/or Dad at work they could, if they had some other organized activity that was approved by the school such as piano lessons, it counted as part of the school day. That's why all the thoughts Jackie had about the future of their family always boomeranged back to her daughter, she didn't want to pull her out of a good school. She was scarred enough. The school did phone her to say that they would understand if she needed to take "a leave of absence". Jackie didn't know if that was the right thing to do. Sometimes it is better to keep your routine and stay busy, especially if you are a child, but then there are other times when you need to put the brakes on. Hyde suggested to let Tiffany decide the time after all they were doing it for her benefit so she should have a say in things.  
  
"Tiffany," Hyde gently asked, as she looked up at him with her Mother's eyes  
  
"What?" She swirled her second French fry in a ketchup circle that she made on the imprinted napkin.  
  
"Would you like to go to our cottage for the weekend?" He asked her  
  
Jackie didn't go into overdrive about "how fun" it would be. How could it? It was just to get her out of New York City like they originally planned it before finding out her Father did indeed die.  
  
She sighed, "I guess."  
  
"Do you want a strawberry milkshake?" Hyde offered, he knew she was going through a lot and it was a great deal of information to process. He just hoped that she would come out of it all right.  
  
"Can I buy it, Steven?" She held out her hand for him to drop the quarters in.  
  
"Sure." He gave her a dollar twenty five and she was glad to have the opportunity to run to the counter without well meaning adults trying to soothe her.  
  
"My poor baby," Jackie whispered, "I hope we get through this, Steven." She held his hand.  
  
"We will. Are you surprised that she agreed to go?"  
  
"A little. You can pick up the twins tomorrow morning, I don't want to be alone tonight." She also didn't want Tiffany to think Steven "wasn't going to come back".  
  
He nodded and kissed her hands.  
  
"Did you talk to Donna, before we left?"  
  
"Yeah. The card that her and Eric sent was beautiful The poem that she wrote made me cry. I'm going to put that in the box."  
  
Not only did Donna and Eric send a card but they also sent Tiffany a silver pin in the shape of a dove with her initial on it. Jackie was glad to have friends like Donna and Eric who cared about her daughter and what she was going through.  
  
"What box?" He asked  
  
"The box I want to make for Tiffany so when she's older, she'll understand."  
  
"You're a great Mother, Jackie." Hyde never would have thought of doing something like that. A Mother always went the extra distance.  
  
"I wouldn't go that far. It's harder the older she gets."  
  
"I would go that far."  
  
She tried to smile, but it was difficult. Tiffany came back walking instead of running with her milkshake she sat next to Hyde in the booth.  
  
"How's the milkshake?" Hyde asked, he wanted to keep her talking; he was afraid she'd crawl into herself and never speak again.  
  
"Good."  
  
"I'll be right back, I have to use the ladies room." Jackie said, kissing both her Husband and her daughter.  
  
Jackie felt bad that she fibbed. She didn't have to use the restroom. She went out the side exit and walked back towards the funeral home to make sure it was all over. She didn't want Tiffany to see the car procession or her snooty old cow of a Grandmother, even though Jackie felt terrible that she had to bury her son. They were in that restaurant for an eternity and Jackie even ate food that she wasn't hungry for. Not because it was fast food, but because she really didn't have an appetite, but she figured if Tiffany saw her eat, that she would keep her normal eating habits as well. Jackie didn't know why she didn't tell Hyde but she did send flowers in Tiffany's name, she was going to have to tell him tonight because she didn't want to keep secrets from the only man that she has ever truly loved in her soul. The parking area was empty. She was sure that he had quite a turn out but Brad didn't have many true friends, Jackie wasn't sure if he had ANY. Apart from blood relatives just The Young/Old Boys Network and many dubious affairs. Still, if she were a stranger in all this and just a casual observer who read the New York Times obituary she would have thought, "Wow, that Brad Worthington must have been an important man." At one time he was important to HER. Jackie thought that if she were in contact with Donna in the years that they lost touch, that she probably would NOT have married Brad. She thought in a rather naïve way that she could have made him stop his womanizing ways and be faithful to her, she thought having a baby would make them "stronger" and maybe if it was a "Timothy" and not a" Tiffany" it would have on some level. That was why she wasn't sure if he really loved his own flesh and blood offspring or not. She really had no proof. She never once heard him say that he loved her, for god's sake. She had no proof that he didn't buy those little Christmas ornaments but she knew he didn't, she wanted her daughter to have at least some good memories of the man. She couldn't think of any. If you could base someone loving a person by how much money they spend on them, then Brad did love Tiffany in spades. She was very grateful that he put her on the subway train. That was the only honorable thing he ever did. She didn't even want to think about the thought of her own daughter dead. That part of her life was finally over. She looked up at the sky and headed back to the restaurant, like the flowers, she would tell Steven about this little jaunt later and hoped that he understood.  
  
"Where were you, Jackie?" Hyde quietly asked when Jackie returned; Tiffany still didn't make a dent in her milkshake. He was beginning to think they were going to get kicked out of the restaurant for being here too long. Not that he cared, he just thought.  
  
"In the ladies room." She replied  
  
Tiffany looked at her and wondered why her Mother was lying, "You weren't there, when I was."  
  
Hyde raised his eyebrow. He wasn't angry; he just didn't want what he used to refer to "Jackie Mind Games" --especially not today.  
  
"I'm sorry," Jackie apologized to the both of them, "I just wanted to see if -" She raised her eyebrow to Hyde; she didn't want to say the rest in front of Tiffany.  
  
"If Grandma was gone." Tiffany replied quietly before Hyde could  
  
"That's right, sweetie." Now that she figured it out, Jackie didn't want to insult Tiffany by lying to her face.  
  
Tiffany looked the floor; the dirty circular pattern seemed interesting so she crawled under the table with her milkshake. If this were a year ago Jackie would have made a fuss about her "getting her dress dirty", now it didn't seem to matter. The dry cleaner could take care of it.  
  
"I'm sorry, Steven, I was going to tell you about it later."  
  
"Jackie, you didn't do anything wrong, you were just concerned."  
  
She whispered in his ear about the flowers and hoped that Tiffany didn't hear the whispering because she didn't want her daughter to crumble and to think they were "keeping things" from her.  
  
Hyde smiled, the needless things Jackie worried about, she was beginning to act like Forman for crying out loud.  
  
"Tiffany, are you okay under there?" Jackie peeked  
  
"Yes, Mommy." She was counting the mini circles that were patterned in the big circles on the decade's old worn floor.  
  
"This time I really DO need to use the ladies room. Do you want to come with me, Tiffany?"  
  
"No." She sucked on her milkshake.  
  
"Why don't you sit down next to me?" Hyde asked, when Jackie left  
  
"No."  
  
They were starting to grow root at this restaurant and Hyde thought they really should go. It wasn't the traffic he was worried about it was his daughter. Since the funeral was over there was no need to still be here and once they got back on the highway there wouldn't be a risk of seeing people that Jackie didn't want to see. Hyde didn't even know anyone who would have been there and he didn't want to see them, either. For the first time he allowed himself to think of the slow pace of the adoption proceedings. There was no love lost he hated Brad for a great many reasons but now he wasn't in the way. He might be able to legally be Tiffany's Father sooner than planned. He was afraid to push the issue since she regressed into calling him "Steven". He tried not to be affected by it but he was. He knew she was hurting and was a confused child. He could only hope that she would accept him as her Father someday. The twins were great, but they were new and somehow would be easier to raise, because they were biologically his and only infants. He didn't love Tiffany any less. Before the twins came he never loved anyone so small before. She was a good kid that was normally free spirited and would run around and make her own decisions like preferring the boys toys to the girl ones. Not wanting to be a mini-Jackie, but a big Tiffany. He wondered how she was going to be as a teenager. He could feel his hair go gray at the very thought of it, not out of bitterness, just out of a knowledge that if she acts anything like her Mother, it was going to be déjà vu all over again. He couldn't see Tiffany being a cheerleader Hell bent on being popular and Hyde knew Jackie wouldn't want her daughter to be that, well maybe the cheerleader part but not the snobby, shallow part that unfortunately went with the territory. He believed kids should be themselves but at the same time if you catch your kids in a Circle do you break it up because you are "the parent"? If you do and they find your stash then you become a hypocrite and that's worse. He didn't want to think too far into the future when the present was what counted. The present consisted out of getting out of the restaurant before people started to think that they owned the place and they could set off for Pennsylvania and now he understood why Jackie bought all the candles and soft, cozy bedding. She wanted to make that more of a home. Hyde thought they should sell the New York City apartment and make the cottage their real home. If Jackie wanted to work there a million things she could do. If she didn't want to work, he'd support her the same. Tiffany could get dirty, which was part of his goal when he purchased the cottage, she could play freely and not rely on scheduled trips to the park when her own house would be her own park. He wanted to buy a horse. There was nothing in those stables but lofts of hay. There was just enough room for their family and he could add on to the property if he wanted to. Hyde really wasn't cut out for New York City, on many levels it was cool, but just because Hyde was a been there- seen it all-done-it-all survivor type didn't mean he wanted to live in Gotham for the rest of his life. He remembered the simplicity of boring little Point Place, Wisconsin. He almost envied Forman, but he didn't need the house it really did belong to Eric. Whether it be Point Place, Wisconsin or the Pennsylvania countryside both were great, solid places to raise a family. You really couldn't do that in big cities. Tiffany was a great kid before he got there but there was something about being "a big city kid" that didn't sit right with him. New York City was the kind of place you went to on class trips or business trips but live to there where all buildings went up and not across was wrong. He's had those thoughts all of his life, he was never a man to succumb to fear, although the airplane experience returning from India was more aggravating then when he started the trip. He was done searching, from now on his career came to him, not the other way around and if he couldn't take a return fight home the next day he wasn't going to do it. Not anymore. Tiffany was tired from sitting on the floor under the booth and bored from counting the circles so she sat on the booth, almost at the bottom of her milkshake, which Hyde thought they would all start applauding soon that they were ready to leave the restaurant. Jackie returned dropping a button on the table.  
  
"My button fell off my blouse! I don't have my emergency sewing kit with me and this is a good blouse." Jackie remarked like the "old Jackie".  
  
"Are we almost ready to go, sweetie?" Hyde asked Tiffany, she nodded what looked like a 'yes'.  
  
"I'll meet you two in the car. I want to call Mrs. Andrews and check on the twins." Jackie smiled at Tiffany.  
  
"Are you done with your milkshake?" Hyde asked  
  
Tiffany slurped the straw around the perimeter of her cup and not stopping until she got to the very end.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
She stood up to stand on the booth so she could jump off and then went to the other side to stand where her Mother was seated. Hyde grabbed her coat that fell on the floor. He dusted it off with his hands before helping Tiffany put it on.  
  
"I want you to know you were very good today." Although she could button it by herself she didn't mind it when he did it for her.  
  
"Yeah. When are we going to be in Pennsylvania?" She yawned  
  
"A few hours, you can sleep in the car. We packed your pillow and blanket."  
  
Tiffany was still standing on the booth when he put on his own jacket.  
  
"Can I have cookies for the ride?" How could he say 'no' to that?  
  
Hyde was beginning to think at this rate that they were going to be sleeping in this restaurant.  
  
"Sure." He handed the money to her, but she shook her head 'no', she wanted him to buy them for her.  
  
He could see Jackie from the window holding up her arm and pointing to her watch and making her delightful smirky face. Of course, there would be a line of a family of six and only one register open; you think the dill holes would have let him go first. He couldn't wait to put his head on the pillow tonight, while his wife would rest her head on his chest. This day couldn't end fast enough. When it was Hyde's turn he got Tiffany her box of cookies and a "thank-god-you-people-are-finally-leaving" look. Hyde didn't care about impressing that idiot with the paper hat and striped shirt.  
  
"Okay, Tiffany, I got your cookies." He handed her the box as she stayed standing on the booth.  
  
"Can I have one now?"  
  
"Sure. But only one." He sorted the garbage on the brown tray and put it through the trash dispenser.  
  
"I can't open the bag." Tiffany handed Hyde the box.  
  
He opened the bag and just to make sure she would only take one cookie, he closed the box before handing it back to her.  
  
"Can I eat the rest in the car?"  
  
"Sure," He held out his hand so she would jump off the booth and they could finally leave this popsicle stand and head out for the four-hour drive to Pennsylvania to their safe and warm cottage.  
  
"Thanks," Tiffany looked at the floor and then straight at him, "Daddy."  
  
Hyde smiled as they left the restaurant, hand-in-hand certain that this was finally the time that it was going to stick.  
  
END [Of Part One]  
  
Eric and Donna's chapter will be Part Two and the end of this installment, but I wanted to give each couple the same amount of pages for the storyline. Hence the two parter. 


	14. A Matter Of Part Two

Chapter 14 A Matter Of [Part Two]  
  
Early October 2001 MO  
  
Life  
  
Eric and Donna finally got the phone call that they were waiting for. They could actually hold their baby today. For real, not touching her through the holes in the incubator but actually holding her in a rocking chair. Even though Eric was the one who wanted the child the longest, he thought it should be Donna to be the first one to actually hold her. They had to take a class it was only them and two other couples for the basic care of a 'special needs' infant. The drug addiction part was another class and part of the program they were in. Donna supposed one good thing did come out of Eric's Coke use when they finally put Megan in her arms for the first time and they didn't have to wear surgical masks around her because her respiratory system was functioning better. She tried not to cry, but she couldn't help it. She was holding HER baby, she may not have given birth to this baby, but she was still HERS, which reminded her of Hyde and Tiffany. He may not have been her biological Father but he was still her Daddy. Who would have thought that something good, so pure and sweet could come from a habit so terrible? The innocent child didn't choose to get high her birth Mother chose that route. Yet, between Eric's problem and that of Megan's real Mother it made it possible for Donna to be sitting in this rocking chair holding the girl who really was her daughter. She couldn't wait for the paperwork to be signed, as she was almost surprised at herself for feeling a bond with her.  
  
"Eric, she's so pretty."  
  
"I know," he couldn't help the tears, either, "She's beautiful."  
  
Donna kissed her tiny hand. How come she didn't want one of these little beings sooner? Was having a career that important? Of course all bets were off when she had her abortion-other women get to have their own children after that, but she had to be part of the one thousand or so women that couldn't have their own children after the procedure. Why were some women so Hell bent on being anti-child? The world was different now for women than when Donna and Jackie were teenagers. The ERA was not ratified but even still many women were CEOS and could do things that they weren't raised to even think of being as an option. Part of the reason why her parents marriage failed was because her Father's Mother was a stay-at-home cook, clean, and take care of the kids kind of woman, so of course he'd be against Midge trying to better her self. Still, she shouldn't have left like that, that was cowardice. She wondered how it was that Red Forman of all people accepted his wife working? But Kitty was stubborn as an ox and she was always there for Laurie and Eric and all the neighborhood kids that trampled through their house. The house that was going to be theirs. Donna had some ideas in mind to re-do the place otherwise it would be despite everything really like they were playing house. It had to be Donna and Eric's house not Red and Kitty's house. She hated to undo all the remodeling that they paid for years ago, but she thought the basement should be a bedroom and the laundry room could go in that little nook/den- ish type area that was off to the front door. She didn't know where their bedroom should be if they used the basement as Megan's room she was going to need a lot of space with her wheelchair. They could get rid of the staircase in the basement and put up a ramp; she knew Eric wouldn't mind that. They would have to widen the doorways that needed to be so she could get in and out with her chair. They were going to need the garage to be a garage and they were going to have to get a specially equipped van. This was going to cost a fortune, but she had a pretty good savings account, as did Eric as well as their joint checking account that they used to pay the monthly bills with and they did have some small amount in investments and she wouldn't be surprised if Eric had money put away for her college fund already. She wanted to be Megan's legal Mother and hoped their adoption process would go smoothly. Since it was through a special program to place the addicted baby with the addicted parent (Donna always had to put the word 'former' in there, she knew Eric would never touch the stuff again. Knock on wood.) as a foster parent first and then the adoptive parent it should go more easily then Hyde's adoption of Tiffany. Which should be an easier process now for them she thought. She lightly kissed her on the head before carefully getting up so Eric could sit down and hold her.  
  
"Hi, Megan," Sometimes she would make eye contact, sometimes she wouldn't.  
  
"Donna-"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Can you get the book out of my knapsack?"  
  
"What book?" She questioned as she went to get it-She smiled when she saw the orange sherbet color cover of "Pat the Bunny".  
  
She couldn't believe it, here she was the writer of the family, and he's the one who thought to buy a children's book!  
  
"Eric, that's so sweet," she kissed him on the cheek  
  
"Pull over a chair, we'll read to her together." It was important to keep her mind stimulated.  
  
"You've been planning this in your mind for ages." Donna whispered she didn't want the in and out nurses to hear their conversation.  
  
"Somewhat."  
  
It was true he wanted a child for the longest time but when he looked into her blue eyes he realized there had to be a reason for the longest wait ever and also a reason why he took Cocaine in the first place. Eric thought it was interesting that Megan and Hyde and Jackie's twins were around the same age group. He hoped that they would be friends, especially Hannah. It was important for girls to have a best friend. That was why Donna opened up to Jackie as the years went on when they were teenagers because women needed friends, more so than guys, and Eric wanted his daughter to have lots of friends. He knew there would be some jerks out there that would take pleasure on teasing the "girl in the wheelchair" but if they ever did it in front of him they'd be talking out of the other side of their ass. He knew he couldn't shield Megan from all the ills in the world but he was going to do his damndest to try. That was one of the reasons why Eric wanted Megan to have a best friend because there were going to be too many people in the outside world who would treat her cruel or the just as bad the people that treat all handicapped people as pity cases with no minds of their own, she needed a friend to share life experiences with apart from her parents just like any other kid. And also to defend her just in case she needed defending.  
  
He knew she couldn't comprehend the activities in the book, but it was important for her understand texture like squeaking the teddy bear and touching the shoelaces.  
  
"I've been so busy buying clothes and other necessities, I didn't think of books." Donna said  
  
"It's okay. I just thought of buying a baby book yesterday afternoon." He stroked her cheek with his hand; he couldn't tell if she smiled.  
  
A nurse gave them some good advice recently. Think of Megan as a cup and you as her parents have to fill that cup with love and as the cup gets full she will respond and in turn the only problematic thing down the line would be her paralysis and even that will develop into a routine over time. The doctor's said with the proper therapies and schooling there was absolutely no reason that she couldn't live a productive life. A nurse witnessed them reading to Megan and thought that Eric and Donna would be great parents. There was a lot of love they needed to give to a child to complete their circle. When they were done reading to the baby they took turns holding her and walking around the nursery talking to her.  
  
"Your Mommy and I can't wait to take you HOME." Eric said, kissing her nose  
  
And Kitty couldn't wait to get on the first plane out to see her Granddaughter she never got to see Laurie's son it felt like she didn't have any Grandkids at all until Eric unveiled his wonderful news of bringing a new baby into the Forman family.  
  
"I love you," He kissed her on the forehead and handed her to Donna to hold.  
  
"Eric, I've come to a conclusion."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"That we're going to be kick-ass parents."  
  
"I know. That's not pretentious of us, is it?"  
  
She smiled in a way that was most becoming but Eric didn't want to be labeled "sexist" by admitting to his wife that she looked beautiful holding a baby. Words always got him into trouble.  
  
"No, she needs a little bit of that pretentious attitude in her corner."  
  
She was starting to fall asleep again and their time with her was almost over. Although there were times when they'd be woken out of a sound sleep to come to the hospital, there were absolutely no time restrictions for this program. If the baby needed you, that was that.  
  
"Did you want to go out to eat after?"  
  
"Eric, don't we always?"  
  
"If you'd rather not-" 'See' Eric thought, 'It's always words that get me in so much trouble'  
  
"That's not what I meant by 'don't we always', I meant yes, because I don't feel like cooking tonight-and you shouldn't be allowed into a kitchen."  
  
"Donna, what was wrong with my pasta Forman?"  
  
Donna laughed and rubbed Megan's cheek against hers so she could get an inkling on what a laugh felt like.  
  
"The pasta was overcooked and the sauce had no kick-but there's other rooms where you excel in."  
  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I hold her before we go?" He asked  
  
"Of course," She transferred the baby to Eric, "Do you think we can bring a camera in here?"  
  
"I don't know, but I'd rather wait for the day when we can have a normal family portrait." Eric admitted to his wife.  
  
He pictured a Christmas or a birthday situation where they could stand in front of the camera and then they could make the cards on their computer and send them out to all of their friends and family, whether they wanted the cards or not. Of course Kitty would probably wallpaper a small room with them!  
  
They both said their goodbyes to the baby and the staff before heading out to the café to sit in the their usual booth like they always did after their visits with their daughter and with the small progress she was making she might be able to come home before Thanksgiving they all hoped. That's all Eric and Donna wanted-to take their baby home, to become a family.  
  
5 days later  
  
The rain pounded on the windows as a thunderstorm raged against the greater St. Louis area as Donna typed with her laptop actually on her lap, she sprained her ankle yesterday when trying to reach on a high bookshelf to put away things for storage so when they were ready to move back to Point Place they wouldn't have to spend all their time packing. Donna wanted to go to the hospital to see Megan but Eric told her what the doctor told her, that she needed to stay off her ankle just for a few days. Her heart wasn't in her writing for the longest time maybe Eric was right when he said to her in the heat of an argument once long ago that she did write "fluff pieces", with all of the uncertainty going on in the world today it didn't seem interesting or fulfilling to write about rock groups or the piece she had to write about people who garden as their relaxation hobby. She didn't have any assignments forced or otherwise, she was just writing her ongoing never-to-be-published book about Eric. It was ten thirty when she fell asleep. Donna woke up at eleven when she saw Eric sitting on the chair, with his hands in his face. She had a lump her throat and was prepared for the worst. 'Please, don't'.  
  
"Eric, what's wrong?" She tried standing up. He didn't look so good. His eyes were red, his hair a mess, and not to mention the smell coming off his now dirty shirt.  
  
"Donna, sit down, you know you are supposed to stay off that ankle."  
  
She sat back down on the sofa and he joined her so she wouldn't be tempted to stand.  
  
"What happened at the hospital? Is Megan all right?"  
  
"It started out a nice visit, Donna. They let me feed her and they were confident she could handle the increased amount of the formula-" He stopped for a minute, he thought he was going to cry again but something in him wouldn't let him  
  
"Go on, Eric." She held his hands  
  
"She got sick-she puked all over me and I held her the way they taught us- so she wouldn't choke and that was when the nurse took her off me. They put her back on the feeding tube. This is hard---"  
  
"F***, there's more?"  
  
"Yes, she went into another seizure and is in a coma," Eric thought this had to be payback for what he unconsciously did to Hyde while he was strung out.  
  
"Oh, God." They shared a teary embrace before Eric got up and proceeded to put his jacket back on.  
  
"I don't have time to cry. I have to go back to the hospital. My baby wants to give up and if I'm not there, Donna, --I'll feel that she'll-I don't want to say it."  
  
Donna got up and accidentally stood on the hurt ankle.  
  
"I'm coming, too."  
  
"But your ankle."  
  
"A sprained ankle is nothing. Besides I have a cane."  
  
"What cane?"  
  
"My wonderful scrawny adorable husband," She kissed him on the lips, "I'm sorry that you had to go through all that alone tonight, you must have been so scared."  
  
"Megan was more scared. Hasn't she suffered enough, Donna?"  
  
That poor baby has been through so much in a very short period of time. All they wanted was for her to be healthy and happy.  
  
"I understand, Eric."  
  
"I called Red and Kitty so if one of our cells should ring-"  
  
"We can't have them on in the nursery." But Donna was sure they'd leave a message. It must have broken their hearts to know they had a Granddaughter out there that was in so much pain.  
  
"Donna, what if she-I don't want to say it, I don't want to think it-but what if?"  
  
They were in the elevator to go down to the parking garage.  
  
"Eric, I refuse to believe in 'what if'-We have to be strong for her. You said it yourself, we have to be there for her."  
  
In the backseat of Eric's car was a small white teddy bear with a blue bow around its neck; he never got to give it to his daughter that night to celebrate her recovery process. He was so worried for her that he forgot about it until he went to put his jacket on when he left the hospital.  
  
"What's in the gift bag?" Donna asked noticing the rain starting to let up.  
  
"A teddy bear. I was going to give it to Megan tonight after our visit, but things didn't go as planned." His eyes stung from all the crying he did.  
  
"I don't see why we can't give it to her now?"  
  
Even if they were back to surgical masks and sterilized everything, the nurses could still put it somewhere in the room for her to look at until she was able to have it in the incubator with her.  
  
"You are truly the best, Donna-I know I have said it before, but you are a great Mother."  
  
She smiled a little, "I'd like to make a stop before we go the nursery." She said in a quiet voice  
  
"Where?" Eric asked despising the traffic; he never had a problem with metro city traffic until he had someone he loved very much in the hospital.  
  
"To the hospital chapel."  
  
Donna and Eric were like so many people who did not really believe in an 'organized religion', Kitty always wanted her family to attend services but the older everyone got and that included her Husband the more difficult it was to get them inside a church.  
  
"That's a good idea."  
  
But Eric had to wonder if there really was a God, why did he/she/it make a point of making innocent people suffer? It wasn't very just to him. Donna put her hand on Eric's knee as he drove and smoothed his hair down with her hands.  
  
"Donna, " He kissed her when they parked in the hospital parking area, "I love you, so much, and it's not many women who would undergo all this."  
  
"I love you too, Eric," She unbuckled her seat belt and tried to get the teddy bear from the backseat.  
  
"I'll get it, now stay in the car, until I come around. I know you don't care what the doctor said but he told you to stay off your ankle. -well as much as possible."  
  
He got the gift bag out of the backseat and helped Donna out of the car hoping to believe in miracles.  
  
**************************************************************************** ****************  
  
They held each other's hands when they entered the nursery, each of them silently half expecting to have someone tell them that Megan did not make it. They were both relieved when they were told while she was still in a coma her condition wasn't critical. The staff although they did not say a word to Eric thought what a dedicated person he must be as he was just here but he had that spark to come back and visit her rather than satisfy the urge to sleep. They did not have to wear surgical masks and she wasn't on a breathing tube like when they met her for the first time. They didn't want to ask any doctor or nurse questions they just wanted to have this quiet time with their baby. She was in a normal halved incubator but she still couldn't have her teddy bear. The nurse assured them they'd find a place for it. Eric and Donna talked to her and did the positive touching hoping that it would somehow like the ten minutes they spent in the chapel would reach her. They lit a candle for her. That was Grandma Kitty's suggestion when she spoke to Eric on the phone earlier so how ironic that it was Donna that had the idea to go the chapel tonight. Eric bent down and lightly kissed Megan's cheek, as he didn't want to hurt her.  
  
"I need something to drink, do you want me to bring you anything?"  
  
"No, thanks, Eric."  
  
Donna thought this would be a good time for some Mother/Daughter bonding. She would see Jackie interact with Tiffany and she loved their rapport with each other. Always wanting her own daughter to talk to and here she was so small and fragile, clinging for her life.  
  
"Now that your Daddy's gone, it gives us a little bit of time to get to know each other a little better."  
  
Donna held Megan's hand, the hospital band around her tiny wrist.  
  
"Your Daddy and I both love you very much. We only want you to be healthy and happy. I know your little body keeps rejecting itself, sweetie. The nurses call you 'The Little Fighter' and you are, baby. You don't realize how 'strong' you are. You do want to live but there's something inside of you trying to stop that. That is why your Daddy came back tonight. That is why even though my doctor said I'm not supposed to be on my sprained ankle, I had to see you anyway. And I know you can't hear me and even if you could I know you don't understand a word I am saying right now. -but I love you, Megan," Donna let the tears flow, "I've wanted a baby for so long-and I really screwed this area of my life up---all I know is both your Daddy and I want you in our lives. We can't imagine a life without you. You just have to make it, sweetie. I know others gave up on you but your Daddy and I have no intention of ever doing that to you."  
  
She tried not to make much noise when she cried she didn't want to frighten Megan, she was too precious and Eric was right hadn't she suffered enough? Donna flinched a bit when she felt Eric gently rest his hands on her shoulders.  
  
"E-Eric," She wiped her eyes, "How long were you standing there?"  
  
He kissed her neck, softly. "You are a special woman, Donna."  
  
They said their goodbyes to Megan with soft words and tender kisses. This child was their last chance to have the family they both wanted and the both of them knew that as they left the hospital and got in the car.  
  
"I'm going into work late tomorrow," Eric yawned  
  
"I'm glad, Eric. We can visit Megan before you have to go to the office."  
  
"Donna, do you think she's going to make it? I can't deny that there isn't a chance she won't make it, we were told that when we signed onto the program."  
  
Eric didn't want to think everything was "going to be all right" when she might not make it. That was a reality that they both had to face.  
  
"We can only hope our prayers will be answered."  
  
"She's such a sweet girl, I really don't want to pay for her death," Eric tried not to cry again, there was just something about a child's ill health that made any person with an ounce of compassion feel awful, "I opened up an account for her. I had to do it in my name, but it's her money. I want to pay for her life."  
  
Donna tried to smile, "I knew you were going to do that."  
  
"Do you think this is God's revenge on me for what I did to Hyde?"  
  
"No, Eric, I don't. You weren't you when you did that and you are very remorseful. Don't blame yourself for Megan's condition. We need to be strong for her. Yes, we know the risks, but we've read many accounts of drug addicted babies that were worse off and they pulled through to become healthy kids, we have to believe that. For Megan's sake."  
  
He kissed her on the cheek when they got to a traffic light.  
  
"When you said to Megan we can't imagine a life without her-it's true. I can't. If I saw images of these drug-addicted babies long ago I NEVER would have touched the stuff. Look what her birth Mother's habit DID TO HER-"  
  
Donna's phone rang, "It's probably your Mother."  
  
She didn't even look at the caller ID, she just started talking.  
  
"Hello? Really? I'll tell him. Thank you for calling. You know we are. Bye."  
  
"Donna, who was that?"  
  
"Turn the car around, Eric," Donna folded her phone and put it in her pocket, "Megan opened up her eyes."  
  
"If only you believe like I believe, baby, like I believe, we'd get by, If only you believed in miracles, so would I."-Jefferson Starship-Marty Balin-1975  
  
END 


	15. ExpectationsCredits

Credits for Great Expectations By Carol (twiniitowers on FF net)  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed my story: (In order of review) Allybally, JackieHyde, Candy.7, sweet775, fireflower, Katies17, rainbowfairy, kashmir, JadedAngel, and to everyone that I chatted with privately. Thanks so much, your kind words mean a lot.  
  
Carsey-Werner and Fox Television own the characters of- Jackie Burkhart, Joanne, Fez, Eric Forman, Kitty Forman, Laurie Forman, Red Forman, Bud Hyde, Edna Hyde, Steven Hyde, Casey Kelso, Michael Kelso, Bob Pinciotti, Donna Pinciotti, and Midge Pinciotti. All other characters and names created by Me.  
  
And a special dedication to the people whose characters inspire us to write the fan fiction in the first place:  
  
To the whole cast of That '70s Show especially to the gang in the basement played by: Topher Grace, Mila Kunis, Ashton Kutcher, Danny Masterson, Laura Prepon, and Wilmer Valderrama.  
  
And as always keep on writing, there's a lot of awesome stories on this website and I'm glad we have this outlet.  
  
Carol-June 27, 2003  
  
PS-I have a question for you all. You can either email me privately or just stick it under a chapter review, I have many more ideas for this storyline for when the kids are grown, but I don't know how many are interested. I've been doing this storyline for so long (and I do have one more official one to do) but if you want more please let me know. I've been doing this storyline for what feels like an eternity that I cannot imagine starting a new storyline from scratch. I'm glad everyone liked the story. So here's a little sneak peek of what I have in mind for future installments.  
  
(as always this is subject to change, but you get the gist)  
  
---Hyde hated seeing his wife so upset, Jackie moved from the potato chips to the rocky road so this was not a good sign. He tried not to worry, he knew they didn't raise a bad kid and he remembered how he used to be when he was fifteen, but he hated not knowing where she was. This is what it truly felt like to be a parent when your kids have you wholly consumed with worry. The phone rang and he knew Jackie was sitting right next to it, so there was no need to pick it up here. He got up from the porch and went inside.  
  
"She TOOK your CAR?" Were the words Hyde heard when he entered the door.  
  
Who was she talking to? Forman? Why would she go all the way to Wisconsin to 'borrow' Forman's car? Still this seemed like a mild rebellion to him, even though as a Father he was concerned. It was a fine line without sounding like a complete and utter hypocrite. He watched Jackie hang up the phone and stand next to him, a very mature elegant swan.  
  
"Steven! YOUR daughter went all the way to Wisconsin to see THAT BOY and then lied to Eric and took his car, GOD KNOWS WHERE."  
  
"She does something bad and suddenly she's MY daughter? Come here." He embraced her tightly.  
  
"I don't like Adam he's like a smart Michael Kelso!" She cried in his shoulder.  
  
"I'm sure she's okay, she's not the type of person to do something for NO REASON."  
  
"And what reason could there be for LYING to us, taking a bus to Point Place to see that BOY and then take Eric's car. WHY?!"  
  
"I don't know, why, Jackie. But I know, she's okay."  
  
"Steven, I love you, but you don't know what this does to a Mother, it tears me up inside, not knowing where she is. I don't know if she's okay so how can you? She's too smart to use her credit card. Eric said he or Donna would call us the moment they find out anything, but I'm NOT WAITING. I'm calling the airport and I'm going to Wisconsin to get my baby back, and you are coming with me.--  
  
(End of sneak peek) 


End file.
